Day 156: I Don’t Want to Do This: FEAR Dimension

'Alternate Realities' by Andrew Gable

This post is a continuation to:

Now in this post we’re going to take a look at the Fear Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality, to see how/why I formed this character, in relation to not only working/doing my job, but really toward taking care of responsibilities/obligations in general, as that is the real root/essence of the character. So, I formed this character in order to protect my self-interest, as that is the basis for why we form character/personalities – in order to protect ourselves from some ‘perceived threat’ to our own personal interest, since as children we generally learn to consider only our own personal experience, and disregard the rest of reality, as it’s not happening to me.

I did not realize the importance and effect it would have to make sure my responsibilities are taken care of, because I didn’t realize that we live in a physical reality where there is consequence if you don’t take care of your responsibilities. Because as a child, I was free of ‘responsibilities’, as parents tend to want to give their children a ‘carefree time’ before you have to grow up and go out into the system and get a job and take on all these responsibilities that come with living in the world in the current system. And so it’s like they want to give you your ‘playtime’ before you have buckle down into the system and become a slave that works to give life to the system, just for your survival in return, because they don’t enjoy it, and they know you’re not going to enjoy it, but it’s accepted as the way it is. And as a child, you pick up on that energy within how ‘work’ is presented, and responsibilities/obligations, where it’s like a ‘negative thing’.

I remember also, seeing examples within television shows, cartoons, books, that presented it as if it’s normal to not want to work, and to have an experience toward it of resistance and wanting to get out of it. And so I copied the examples that I saw, and followed suit with this behavior, in believing that it makes sense to have such reactions to working, and I didn’t even question it, like why should I be having reactions within myself that change my internal experience?

And it’s almost like, as a way of coping with the ‘helplessness’ of not having a choice but having to go into this system as it currently exists, within the situation of there being very little likelihood of getting a ‘decent’ job with ‘decent’ pay, it’s as if that since I felt I couldn’t do anything about my outer situation, that by manipulating my internal experience, at least I was changing/affecting something. Which is really quite ridiculous when you look at it.

So, in looking at why I would form this character/personality of not wanting to do the task that’s before me, and developing this entire reaction sequence play-out of thought, imagination, backchat, reactions and energy-experiences, with the result of manipulating myself into a certain experience and behaviors, I can see that it’s to ‘protect’ my ‘experience of myself’, which is ironic, because what I’m attempting to do is to manipulate myself through these energetic experiences, to avoid certain situations, like for example working, by creating such an awful experience within myself toward working, that I’ll eventually not be able to take it anymore, and will give up. And so this character, is there to seemingly protect me from not having to do what I don’t want to do, however, it’s not the work I am actually not liking, it is the experience within myself toward the work that I am wanting to avoid, which I created through the participation in my mind in the character/personality system. Which is all in my head, and not my actual experience.

When it comes down to what I like/don’t like, what I want/don’t want, it’s really irrelevant in terms of what I have to do. Like in this current system, I do have to get a job, and if I want to get into an effective position, I will most likely not be able to it doing ‘what I’d like to do’, but will have to do what ‘the system’ will pay me to do. I could sit here and wish life could be like this or like that, but it doesn’t change the situation we’re in. The only way to do that is by us actually standing up and changing it, through implementing an Equal Money System, which will end the wage-slave system of crappy jobs that don’t pay enough and don’t serve any real benefit to humanity/life.

In the next post, we’ll walk the Self Forgiveness in relation to the points here, for the Fear Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character.
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