Showing posts with label expression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expression. Show all posts

Day 155: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 5)


Featured Artwork by Anna Brix Thomsen


This post is a continuation to:


Now we’ll continue from where we left off in the last post, with the Self Commitment Statements on the Physical/Behavior Dimensions.

Positive Dimensions Internal Changes Self Commitment Statements (continued):
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that in that moment of facing a responsibility that if carried out will affect my world and future, that I am by accepting and allowing myself to in that moment manipulate my physical body in order to manipulate myself to follow the positive, actually making myself ‘feel good’ about avoiding my responsibility, and thus essentially making myself ‘feel good’ about sabotaging myself and my world/future and accepting self limitation.

And thus, I commit myself to establish myself here as the living word by through the application of writing, self forgiveness, and commitments statements to walk myself out of these positive/negative manipulation games that I play with myself, so that I can live as expression within moving and directing myself here to actually follow through with the task before me, so that I am the living directive principle of myself, no longer subjecting myself to self-manipulation through positive/negative energy experiences.

Negative & Positive Dimensions External Changes Self Commitment Statements:
I commit myself to I commit myself to developing effective communication with/as my physical to see what my physical is in fact showing me that I am participating in, through the physical conditions that I manifest in my physical as a result of my participation in the mind, as the result of giving power to the mind as Thought, Imagination, Backchat, Reactions and Energy-Experiences. Particularly where I experience the physical conditions of where I slouched down and sat further back in my chair to see that I have become the physical manifestation of the ‘depression’ I was participating in, and where I became very stiff where my movements were like ‘jagged’ to see that I was manifesting this behaviour as the result of my participation in the energy-experiences of ‘dread’ and ‘anxiety’.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when my physical behaviour suddenly changes, where I become the embodiment of dread, anxiety and depression, to where I slouch and my movements become stiff, that that this indicates that I am not yet effectively aware of the processes taking place within my mind and within my standing as the directive principle of myself, that I have thus allowed myself to get to this point of possession by/within this character/personality to the extent where I experience actual changes in my physical behaviour.

Thus, I commit myself to, when and as I have gotten to the point of possession to where my physical behaviour changes without my awareness/expectation, to become more specific in my application and awareness of myself and my participation in mind-energies, so that I can effectively stop participation before it gets to this point of physical possession, as by the time it gets to that point, I have made it ‘most difficult’ for myself to stand and stop participation, as I have activated the ‘full force’ of the combination of the Thought, Imagination, Backchat, Reactions, and all the energies activated by/within those dimensions.

Therefore, I commit myself to when and as I notice my physical behaviors changing to where I am moving stiffly and jaggedly, and where I am slouching down in my chair, when I am facing the point of working/doing my job, to realize/understand that I am in the process of manipulating myself with energies through the mind, and thus I immediately breathe, sit up straight and relax my body to relieve the stiffness and jerkiness, as I realize that if I accept and allow myself to give in to the mind possession, that I’m essentially giving up on myself in a moment where I have the opportunity to make a change and expand myself here, and that the solution to moving myself out of mind-created experiences of energy and into real practical living here, is to actually physically move myself to go through with the tasks/responsibilities I’m facing before me, as for example the responsibility of working/doing my job.

In the next post, we’ll walk the Fear Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, through which we’ll take a look at why it is that I formed this character in the first place.

Day 149: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 2)



Featured Artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

This post is a continuation to:


Here we’ll continue with the Self Forgiveness statements for the Energy-Relationships as Reactions I’ve formed in relation to the Thought, Imagination and Backchat Dimensions.

Thought Energy-Relationship Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within/as the Thought as the image that came up in my mind of me ‘not enjoying myself’/’having a negative experience’ at work, and within this to go into a negative energy-experience of ‘Dread’, where I then become this energy-experience of ‘Dread’ within dreading the hours of work to come, and within this to not see, realize and understand how I’ve formed an energy-relationship toward the initial thought connecting such thought to the experience/emotion/reaction of ‘dread’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how by following this single thought I initiate an energy experience within my mind as the emotion/reaction of ‘dread’, as a negative energy-experience in order to direct myself with negative energy from taking care of/facing my responsibilities here, within this, taking for granted that this energy-experience is in fact ‘who I am’ simply because it is here and I am experiencing, and not questioning where this energy-experience came from or seeing and realizing that this energy experience is not real in fact and is only energy created and activated within my mind, and not actually here in the physical.

Imagination Energy-Relationship Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within/as the imagination where I imagine scenarios of what ‘I’d rather be doing’ instead of working, as for example being at home, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach an energy-relationship of the feeling of ‘Comfort’ toward imagining being at home and not working, within this allowing an energy-experience to direct me in the moment and thus take me away from the moment and applying myself here within doing my job.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the energy-experience that I experience as real, where I believe what the mind is ‘showing me’ in that if I wasn’t working or was at home I would experience myself as ‘comfortable’, within this not seeing, realizing or understanding that I am the one that create that experience of ‘comfort’ actually, thus showing me that I have separated myself from ‘comfort’ wherein I am only living ‘comfort’ as an energetic experience that I can only experience within certain situations, like when not working and being at home, instead of considering that I could live comfort as myself, within whatever it is that I am doing, as long as it is not obviously compromising/harming me in a real physical way, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe what the mind is showing me as that I must be not working or be at home to experience comfort, that I can’t apparently live it as an expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I’ve manipulated myself within becoming my imagination and the energy-experience of ‘comfort’ that comes up in relation to imagining not working, and within this sabotaging my effectiveness within the world, within doing my job effectively and providing myself with an effective income, and in pushing myself to see how I can expand within my world and reality, within this not seeing how I am accepting limitation by living as the energy-experience of ‘comfort’ toward not working/being at home, where if I follow this energy-experience it lead to me not expanding myself but remaining the same and not changing and exploring what is my real potential and what is possible for me to do here in reality.

Backchat Energy-Relationship Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go even further into the possession of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character toward working, by continuing from the Imagination Dimension and going on into the Backchat Dimension, where I then go into an internal conversation toward the scenes that paly out within my mind within my Imagination, not realizing that by speaking these words within me I am further validating/substantiating myself as this character/personality as the thoughts, imagination and reactions that came up within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an energy-relationship toward the backchat “Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well”, where I then experience the negative energy experience of ‘Anxiety’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an energy-relationship toward the backchat “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”, where I experience the negative energy-experience of ‘Depression’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an energy-relationship toward the backchat “I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax”, toward which I experience the positive energy-experience of ‘Relaxation’, within this not realizing that I am not living this experience of ‘relaxation’ as an expression of myself, but that it is coming up as an experience toward the images and backchat within my mind, and thus not a real actual expression of myself as me simply being here ‘relaxing’, and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to even question/realize how is it that I am now experiencing ‘relaxation’ because of the images/backchat that has just come up within my mind, and it wasn’t because I actually decided in self awareness, ‘I am going to express myself as relaxation/being relaxed with now, and thus how this indicates that I am in fact mind controlled and not self-directed self-willed individual if my experience within myself change due to what is just popping up within my mind seemingly from nowhere.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I have actually accepted and allowed these energy-experiences within me, and thus I am actually the cause of these energy experiences, which means that I can stand up as the directive principle in stopping and no longer participating in energy-experiences within/toward such/similar backchat, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as energy-experiences as reactions to thoughts, imagination and backchat that comes up within me, and not even question if I really am these thoughts, imagination, backchat and reactions and why it is these experiences are going on inside of me and I am not just stable here as myself as the physical.

In the next post, we’ll continue with the Commitment Statements in relation the points walked here in Self Forgiveness, wherein I’ll walk through the corrections as to how I will walk myself through and out of this character, to stand here as myself, stable, and in particular be able to really apply myself in my job/work, and no longer be directed by the Energy-Relationships I’ve formed within this character/personality.
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Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)



Thoughts of the Chameleon Character
"we base relationships on FEAR and DESIRE – I mean that’s really not a cool platform from what it could be, that one can really see that we make decisions for relationshiips on ENERGY, when really the process that should be within it is quite extensive in making an informed, practical decision for a relationship" Sunette Spies
Desteni Artists on Facebook



This post is a continuation to:


Now we’re going to take a look at the Backchat Dimension of the ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’ Character, in relation to working/doing my job. So, where it firstly starts with a Thought, as the image of me working and not enjoying it/having a negative experience, based on previous memories of when I experienced myself negatively while working, then going into the Imagination Dimension, where I imagine what it is I’d rather be doing, and imagining myself within various scenarios that ‘I’d rather be doing’ and experiencing myself ‘positively’ within that, then the Backchat Dimension activates. So that, through the internal backchat conversation, I will talk myself even deeper into this alternate reality of the mind, where instead of being here as the physical, in physical reality, in which there is no positive or negative experience, I go into energy-experiences and all myself to be directed according to/by positive/negative energy, where I want to avoid the ‘negative’ and seek out the ‘positive’, and within this not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I am following is only within the mind and is not here in actual reality. Where, if I was not participating in/being directed by these energy-experiences, I would simply be here, not holding back, and really fully applying myself within my responsibilities, as for example within working/doing my job.

Within this character/personality, what I’ve found is that I’ll have backchat of both a positive and negative resonance, where there will be backchat that supports the initial negative thought/imagination of how I’m not going to enjoy myself while working, and backchat that supports the positive imagination of what ‘I’d rather be doing’.

Some of the negative backchat that come up within my internal backchat conversation are:
“Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”/ “Maybe I should just quit early” / “I’ve got so many other things to do, I may as well go home early”

What comes up within the backchat of a positive resonance is usually statements like:
“I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax” 

It’s through/within this backchat that I ‘talk myself’ out of doing my job effectively, and allow myself to be directed by positive/negative experiences that compromise my effectiveness within my application, where I am not really giving it my all in my job, but am ‘holding myself back’ from really fully participating and seeing just how effective I can be and really exploring my potential. Thus, where by having this internal conversation within my mind, I am further substantiating the Thought and Imagination Dimensions and so further going into/as the character/personality that is based on the point of ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’.

In the next post, we’ll walk through the Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements for the Backchat Dimension of the ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’ Character, to assist and support myself to no longer participate in the internal backchat conversations through which I sabotage myself within my application and hold myself back from really living and putting myself fully into what I’m doing, so that my presence here can have a real impact in reality and I am not just wasting my time here, while there is real work to be done in this world/reality in sorting out how we’re existing, and a big point within that is to sort out who we are in terms of what working has become/exists as currently, so that what we do here becomes an actual expression of ourselves as beings that are responsible and care for our world/reality without which we would not even be existing here, and won’t be if we don’t start really caring.
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