Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)

Thoughts of the Chameleon Character
"we base relationships on FEAR and DESIRE – I mean that’s really not a cool platform from what it could be, that one can really see that we make decisions for relationshiips on ENERGY, when really the process that should be within it is quite extensive in making an informed, practical decision for a relationship" Sunette Spies
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This post is a continuation to:

Now we’re going to take a look at the Backchat Dimension of the ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’ Character, in relation to working/doing my job. So, where it firstly starts with a Thought, as the image of me working and not enjoying it/having a negative experience, based on previous memories of when I experienced myself negatively while working, then going into the Imagination Dimension, where I imagine what it is I’d rather be doing, and imagining myself within various scenarios that ‘I’d rather be doing’ and experiencing myself ‘positively’ within that, then the Backchat Dimension activates. So that, through the internal backchat conversation, I will talk myself even deeper into this alternate reality of the mind, where instead of being here as the physical, in physical reality, in which there is no positive or negative experience, I go into energy-experiences and all myself to be directed according to/by positive/negative energy, where I want to avoid the ‘negative’ and seek out the ‘positive’, and within this not seeing, realizing and understanding that what I am following is only within the mind and is not here in actual reality. Where, if I was not participating in/being directed by these energy-experiences, I would simply be here, not holding back, and really fully applying myself within my responsibilities, as for example within working/doing my job.

Within this character/personality, what I’ve found is that I’ll have backchat of both a positive and negative resonance, where there will be backchat that supports the initial negative thought/imagination of how I’m not going to enjoy myself while working, and backchat that supports the positive imagination of what ‘I’d rather be doing’.

Some of the negative backchat that come up within my internal backchat conversation are:
“Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”/ “Maybe I should just quit early” / “I’ve got so many other things to do, I may as well go home early”

What comes up within the backchat of a positive resonance is usually statements like:
“I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax” 

It’s through/within this backchat that I ‘talk myself’ out of doing my job effectively, and allow myself to be directed by positive/negative experiences that compromise my effectiveness within my application, where I am not really giving it my all in my job, but am ‘holding myself back’ from really fully participating and seeing just how effective I can be and really exploring my potential. Thus, where by having this internal conversation within my mind, I am further substantiating the Thought and Imagination Dimensions and so further going into/as the character/personality that is based on the point of ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’.

In the next post, we’ll walk through the Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements for the Backchat Dimension of the ‘I Don’t Want to Do This’ Character, to assist and support myself to no longer participate in the internal backchat conversations through which I sabotage myself within my application and hold myself back from really living and putting myself fully into what I’m doing, so that my presence here can have a real impact in reality and I am not just wasting my time here, while there is real work to be done in this world/reality in sorting out how we’re existing, and a big point within that is to sort out who we are in terms of what working has become/exists as currently, so that what we do here becomes an actual expression of ourselves as beings that are responsible and care for our world/reality without which we would not even be existing here, and won’t be if we don’t start really caring.
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