Day 150: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 3)

Featured Artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

This post is a continuation to:

Day 139: The ‘I Don’t Want To Do This’ Character

Day 140: 'I Don’t Want to Do This': Thought Dimension

Day 141: I Don’t Want to Do This: Thought Dimension (Part 2)

Day 143: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 1)

Day 144: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 2)

Day 145: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 3)

Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)

Day 147: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 2)

Day 148: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 1)

Day 149: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 2)

In this post we’re now going to continue with the Commitment Statements for the Reaction Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character in regards to working/doing my job.

Reaction Dimension Self Commitments:
Thought Energy-Relationship Self Commitments:
I commit myself to when/as I see the thought come up in my mind of how I am not going to enjoy myself while working/doing my job, I stop immediately and move myself as the directive principle of myself to not participate in the thought and to simply stick to the task at hand working/doing my job, as I see, realize and understand that if I do not immediately move myself, that I’ll essentially allow the Mind to move me with the energy-experience of ‘dread’, where I’ll become that energy and thus sabotage myself in my living here in effectively applying myself within my work/job.

I commit myself to standing as the decision to not accept and allow myself to follow/live/connect me to the thought in the moment, as I see, realize and understand that if I do so I will become the thought and energy-experience that accompanies it, and essentially lock myself into the mind giving up my directive will in determining who I am in the moment , and so I commit myself to stand as my decision in the moment and take a breath and move myself to stay here in reality within doing my job/working.

Imagination Energy-Relationship Self Commitments:
I commit myself to when and as I see myself participating in the negative imagination of how I’m not going to enjoy work, where I imagine what might ‘go wrong’, to realize that by participating in this imagination and energy-experience I am the one creating it, and thus I can stop in a moment within making the decision to stop participating and walking/living that decision through breathing through the energy and grounding myself here in and as the physical, as I realize that the more I stick to my decision to move myself, the more I take back control of myself from the mind and show the mind that it does not in fact have power over me, and thus the energy will start disappearing as I no longer accept and allow myself to be moved by it.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into the positive imagination where I imagine myself as not having to work, being at home, doing something else and experiencing myself positively in these scenarios, where I get to avoid doing the action/task that is before me as working/doing my job, to realize that I’m accepting and allowing myself to be moved by energy and going into an energy-experience instead of remaining here in/as the physical and moving myself practically according to what needs to be done such as working/doing my job.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see myself go into imagining in my mind alternatives to what it is I have to do in the moment, and experiencing ‘comfort’ toward this imagination, to stop participation, as I realize I am allowing myself to be manipulated by/through/within an energy-experience of ‘comfort’ attached to images in my mind, with the purpose of manipulating myself to give up on the task before me, and thus I commit myself to realize that that experience of ‘comfort’ is not an actual, self-directed expression of myself as comfort.

Backchat Energy-Relationship Self Commitments:
I commit myself to when in a moment where I am facing the task of working/doing my job, and see myself participating in the words “Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well”, where I then experience the negative energy experience of ‘anxiety’, to realize that I am using these words and the accompanying energy-experience of ‘anxiety’ to create an alternate reality in my mind as a relationship toward working/doing my job, in order to compromise me in doing what I need to do here in order to effectively support myself within working/doing my job.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself participate in the backchat “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” and the accompanying energy-experience of ‘depression’, to stop, breathe and ground myself here, as I realize that I am using these words and experience of depression to manipulate myself into not doing that which I must do, and thus it is up to me to stand as my decision to move myself and no longer accept and allow myself to be directed by energy-experiences.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see myself going into backchat and a positive or negative energy-experience toward working/doing my job, to stop participation and breathe to stabilize myself here in reality, and stand as the directive principle of myself and changing myself to no longer accept myself to live as words with energy to living words where I direct myself to move and actually do that which I have decided to do, in applying myself within effectively working/doing my job in order to support myself here.

Related articles

• 195. The Righteousness of Evil
• 170. Positive Thinking Irresponsibility
• Day 99: Stress Management - Part 2
• Day 181: Time to stop yanking my own chain
• Day 189: I am not good enough" character - reaction dimension (Part5)
• Day 183: I am not good enough" character - backchat dimension (Part5)
• Chameleon Character Backchat: Day 215
• Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2
• Day 182: I am not good enough" character - backchat dimension (Part4)
• Day 146: 'It's Just a Waste of Time'

Day 64: Horses are Magnifying Glasses of Who You Are

On the farm I have been working with horses, learning how to take care of them and interact and communicate with them. Anyone who spends some time with these animals will realize pretty quickly that these animals are quite aware of themselves and you and their environment, often more so than the human. What’s fascinating is how one is able to communicate with them, without even using words.

This proves beyond any shadow of a doubt that animals are not stupid, as they’ve shown us time and again that they are really aware of what is going on, more so than humans, and it is often the human that completely disregards this, proving that the human is the ignorant one. 

I have had but a little experience with horses in my past, I took some lessons briefly when I was 11, and helped a friend who worked in the stables a few times. So working with horses on the farm now for about 6 months has been the bulk of my experience working with horses. At the farm we practice natural horsemanship techniques for interacting and working with the horses. Bits haven’t been used the whole time I’ve been here, and we trim hooves ourselves and don’t use horseshoes. When we lead horses to pasture, many of them we only put a lead lightly around their neck, and some of them don’t need a lead at all, it depends on their temperament.

Cerise Poolman filing the hooves of the horse 'Fats'

You really get to form a communication with the horses you work with, and it’s fascinating how you actually build the communication between you and the being that is the horse, where you can use gestures to communicate to the horse how to move, and together you form this communication, of ‘this gesture means do this’ and ‘this gesture means do that’. And the horse has a fun time learning new ways to move himself. Today, I learned how to communicate to the horse to walk toward me, and he responded right away and it was fascinating. And what’s cool is that none of this is done with any kind of rope or forcing the horse in any way, or by using rewards to coerce him. The horse is simply enjoying himself moving around as a physical being and communicating with you, and I quite enjoyed it as well. It really gets you here working and participating within and as the physical.

It is really supportive to work and communicate this way with the horses, as they will literally act as a mirror and reflect you back to you, as they are following your lead, and thus if you are being distracted, they will be distracted and you won’t get a direct clear response from them, and depending on their temperament they may take advantage of your distraction and act out and challenge you. Thus, whatever you are living as yourself becomes magnified by hundreds of pounds into this big mass of a physical being, literally showing you who you are and that they are actually more aware of your physical than you are, as they are responding to where your attention is focused, and how you’re holding yourself, if you’re slouching or if you’re standing upright, if you’re walking ahead with direction or if your just lolly-gagging around. 

But what really struck me, is when I was doing research on the internet to learn more about natural horsemanship, very little turned up. And that’s when I realized that this way of doing things is still incredibly rare, that most horses are worked with in traditional ways with bits and ropes, in many cases where the horse is not considered equally to the human at all, but is seen as less than the human, and just something for the human to use, or even as nice pet but with the human still perceiving itself as more than the horse, as the ‘owner’ of the horse, where an actual equal and one relationship with the horse is not considered.

That’s not to say or suggest that anyone and everyone can or should start doing natural horsemanship techniques right away, because you have to actually develop that relationship and communication with the horse, and the relationship between horses and human currently is ruled by money, as humans themselves are ruled by money, and thus extensive abuse happens to horses within using them to generate money in the current system, such as with horse racing, rodeos, bullfighting, for show, and using them for labor, without any regard for their well-being.

This is why we require an Equal Money System, so that we can stop being ruled by the pursuit for money as security of a dignified life, and instead give everyone the right to a dignified life, animals included, and free ourselves and all of existence from enslavement to a money system that is not actually supporting us as humanity or the earth as the environment/nature and the animals, and actually being to re-establish effective communication between ourselves and what is here as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a world in which that which is here as the physical forms and manifestations, as nature and the animals, are disregarded and abused for the sake of a few beings to accumulate money, while most of humanity is not able to afford a dignified life, and must turn to abusing what is here as nature and the animals for the means to survive.

I commit myself to doing what it takes to bring forth an Equal Money System, so that we can begin to correct our relationships so that we can live in oneness and equality with that which is here, and explore the full potential of what may be possible when all life lives and exists in oneness and equality.