Day 226: Caring - What's In It For Me?

Here we're continuing from a previous post - Day 224: What's the First Step to Caring For Real? For reference, here's where we left off from:

Something we don't tend to realize/be aware of is how much of the consequence we face in reality and in our relationships is a result of this simple point of separation, where we've formed a relationship toward each other of not caring, where we have justified even being nasty, spiteful, and even just apathetic toward others, and that's what I'll go into more in the next post to come, to see why is it that we would even want to care about others – to see what difference in one's own life would that make? So until then, you can start to simply become aware of these moments in your day to day living where you actually go into/participate in some form of separation/spitefulness toward another, as that is the first step to sorting ourselves out as a whole, which is going to have very positive results, as you'll see more in the next post.

So, why is it in our interest to care about others? It sure may not seem like it is in the moment, it's so easy to go into a point of spitefulness or nastiness as it's been so accepted as an underlying and automatic part of our nature and behavior. But, within this, we haven't yet effectively connected the dots between our behavior and the consequence of that behavior. With some things in life, consequence is remarkably obvious. Say for example, hitting your finger with a hammer, the consequence is immediate and direct – injury to your finger and most likely a good deal of pain. However, when it comes to human relations, the consequence is often more indirect. But once you see it, is still quite obvious.

I mean, we know that for most of us, ourselves included, life is no 'walk in the park'. We know that we have a tendency to be 'thrown off' by just one person being nasty to us, where we will say 'now my whole day is ruined'. We allow how others treat us, to affect us, and in turn, affect how we treat others. When someone is nasty to us, we become nasty ourselves, and don't even now notice who we're actually being nasty toward. You can see how this just perpetuates and endless cycle round and round, so that the next time you experience someone as being nasty to you – you really have to ask yourself, do I know what is going on in that person's life? What their day was like? What they're going through? Because, it's really usually not about you at all, as you can see for yourself, when you're in the same situation, in a reaction toward something that happened to you maybe earlier that day, and is affecting how you are interacting with others in a totally different moment.

When we stop the automatic reaction of taking things personally, we stop that cycle. Within this, not only do you gain a will power to not automatically get sucked into reactions that would then 'ruin your whole day', and in fact cause more consequence, but you will rather become more aware of what is actually going on in reality, see solutions more easily and have more of an understanding of what is going on around you. You'll have a self-stability to remain calm and prevent unnecessary stress, which can tear down your physical body. And you'll prevent a lot of unnecessary consequence in other's lives, which ultimately comes back to you in a direct and indirect way, through your own immediate interactions on a daily basis, and in general as we're doing less to antagonize others as well.

In addition to this, you develop an integrity with yourself where you know that you are no longer blindly adding to the problem, but are sorting yourself out and becoming the solution, no longer accepting and allowing yourself to justify spitefulness toward others. And this integrity would also come through in your relationships with others and will open up the opportunity to develop more substantial and stable relationships, since you've shown yourself to be someone who is actually trustworthy and consistent, meaning not like friendly one moment and nasty in another.

Here I would suggest taking the free DIP Course to assist and support yourself with getting more into the detail of how to walk this process of sorting out such patterns that we've automatically become that have become such a detriment to our living.

Related articles

• Facing the Evil within - the KEY to Self Awareness - Day 188
• Day 182 - Spitefulness.
• Day 223: Who Cares?! Does Anyone in Humanity Really Care?
• Day 533: Living What is Best For All
• Day 224: What's the First Step to Caring For Real?
• Hiding from Self Through Falling in Love (Relationship Paranoia Pt. 9) DAY 220

Day 224: What's the First Step to Caring For Real?

In this post I'm continuing with looking at what it means to live Caring, and how I've actually changed in my living in my words and actions and particularly in my interactions with others, within the process of considering what it really means to care, as actual living action, and not just a sentiment or idea, that produces no actual results or effect in reality.

So firstly, this means becoming aware of and taking responsibility for how/when/where I am spiteful or nasty to others whether out loud or even just in my mind, because all that carries through, nothing is really hidden. I mean, if I'd like to see others not be nasty or spiteful, then I need to become the solution to that problem, get to know why/how are we spiteful and how do we stop that and correct ourselves, so that I can then show others by example how to do so. And this means actually admitting to ourselves that we have in fact been spiteful and nasty to others, because there is the tendency to not what to see that, the truth of ourselves, but it's there, you can't really hide it from yourself.

It's as if we think that if we allow ourself to be self honest about what we are really doing and who we really are in our behavior and actions, that then we'll see ourself as bad or wrong or evil, and yet it's just the opposite in a way where when we are hiding that reality from ourself, that is actually what we could call evil, because then you are going to continue in such behavior all the while pretending you're not. So rather we would want to face the truth of ourselves, so we can really see what it is that we are doing, because then we can change our input as what we are living into this world, and that would change the output, of what we get back from the world. So we would become the cure for the nastiness that exist in the world by starting with ourselves first.

What this means therefore, is getting down to the nitty-gritty, the small moments that seem so insignificant and that we take for granted. The little moments where we allow a nasty though or allow ourselves to act out in nastiness toward another, whether directly or indirectly. One great example of this is in a documentary I recently watched, called Children Full of Life (which you can watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tLB1lU-H0M) in which a teacher, who takes a bit of a unique approach to teaching, notices that there is bullying going on between the students. He encourages them to share about it, and several children share their experiences with being bullied. However, he then does something rather striking – he points out that all the students are sharing about what has been done to them, as if they are all innocent, but none are sharing how they have participated in bullying themselves.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, we tend to focus on others, rather than ourselves, to the extent where it's like we aren't even aware of what we're actually doing. But on some level we do know, because really, how can you not know what you're doing? I mean, you're the one doing it. And as the documentary shows, even as children, we can see what we are doing and what we're responsible for, the unnecessary consequences we create for ourselves and others, and so having a detrimental effect on our relationships with others and our world.

Because the fact is we don't live here alone, we're all here in this one reality together, and so have to find ways to live together effectively, because we are in fact responsible for being here and considering the effect we have on each other and reality. There's the tendency to be only focused on one's own self interest, like you live in a bubble where all that exists is you, and every one else is just basically a prop in the movie paying out that is your life. I mean, that's usually the extent to which we think about or consider other people, always from this very limited perspective where the bottom line is always me and what I want or don't want. We don't consider others equally to ourselves, even though on some level we do know that we are in fact equal, by virtue of being alive and being here. Each and every one of us is an individual being with their own life, own experiences, and own potential to develop and expand and grow.

Something we don't tend to realize/be aware of is how much of the consequence we face in reality and In our relationships is a result of this simple point of separation, where we've formed a relationship toward each other of not caring, where we have justified even being nasty, spiteful, and even just apathetic toward others, and that's what I'll go into more in the next post to come, to see why is it that we would even want to care about others – to see what difference in one's own life would that make? So until then, you can start to simply become aware of these moments in your day to day living where you actually go into/participate in some form of separation/spitefulness toward another, as that is the first step to sorting ourselves out as a whole, which is going to have very positive results, as you'll see more in the next post.