Here we're continuing from a previous post - Day 224: What's the First Step to Caring For Real? For reference, here's where we left off from:
Something we don't tend to realize/be aware of is how much of the consequence we face in reality and in our relationships is a result of this simple point of separation, where we've formed a relationship toward each other of not caring, where we have justified even being nasty, spiteful, and even just apathetic toward others, and that's what I'll go into more in the next post to come, to see why is it that we would even want to care about others – to see what difference in one's own life would that make? So until then, you can start to simply become aware of these moments in your day to day living where you actually go into/participate in some form of separation/spitefulness toward another, as that is the first step to sorting ourselves out as a whole, which is going to have very positive results, as you'll see more in the next post.
So, why is it in our interest to care about others? It sure may not seem like it is in the moment, it's so easy to go into a point of spitefulness or nastiness as it's been so accepted as an underlying and automatic part of our nature and behavior. But, within this, we haven't yet effectively connected the dots between our behavior and the consequence of that behavior. With some things in life, consequence is remarkably obvious. Say for example, hitting your finger with a hammer, the consequence is immediate and direct – injury to your finger and most likely a good deal of pain. However, when it comes to human relations, the consequence is often more indirect. But once you see it, is still quite obvious.
I mean, we know that for most of us, ourselves included, life is no 'walk in the park'. We know that we have a tendency to be 'thrown off' by just one person being nasty to us, where we will say 'now my whole day is ruined'. We allow how others treat us, to affect us, and in turn, affect how we treat others. When someone is nasty to us, we become nasty ourselves, and don't even now notice who we're actually being nasty toward. You can see how this just perpetuates and endless cycle round and round, so that the next time you experience someone as being nasty to you – you really have to ask yourself, do I know what is going on in that person's life? What their day was like? What they're going through? Because, it's really usually not about you at all, as you can see for yourself, when you're in the same situation, in a reaction toward something that happened to you maybe earlier that day, and is affecting how you are interacting with others in a totally different moment.
When we stop the automatic reaction of taking things personally, we stop that cycle. Within this, not only do you gain a will power to not automatically get sucked into reactions that would then 'ruin your whole day', and in fact cause more consequence, but you will rather become more aware of what is actually going on in reality, see solutions more easily and have more of an understanding of what is going on around you. You'll have a self-stability to remain calm and prevent unnecessary stress, which can tear down your physical body. And you'll prevent a lot of unnecessary consequence in other's lives, which ultimately comes back to you in a direct and indirect way, through your own immediate interactions on a daily basis, and in general as we're doing less to antagonize others as well.
In addition to this, you develop an integrity with yourself where you know that you are no longer blindly adding to the problem, but are sorting yourself out and becoming the solution, no longer accepting and allowing yourself to justify spitefulness toward others. And this integrity would also come through in your relationships with others and will open up the opportunity to develop more substantial and stable relationships, since you've shown yourself to be someone who is actually trustworthy and consistent, meaning not like friendly one moment and nasty in another.
Here I would suggest taking the free DIP Course to assist and support yourself with getting more into the detail of how to walk this process of sorting out such patterns that we've automatically become that have become such a detriment to our living.