Day 203: Why do Teens Lie to Their Parents?

When I was a teenager I'd stay out late and lie about it. I would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to hang out with friends that I wasn't allowed to because 'they were a bad influence'. I drank and did drugs. And I lied bout it all obviously because if I didn't, I would have been punished. And I wanted to try/do all these things because there were many examples in my life that was saying these things were apparently what you want to do as a teenager. My mom would say those things are bad, you're not allowed to do them, but I wouldn't listen because I didn't trust her, because she would get emotional and judgmental and that obviously doesn't look like a sound supportive being who I could trust for practical advice. She just didn't have the effective understanding and vocabulary to effectively express things to me, like an equal talking to another equal who is new to the world and giving practical support of how this world operates and how consequence works in reality. She wasn't trained to be a parent because we don't have effective training in parenting for everyone.

There is the tendency to want to 'hide' what is wrong with ourselves/the world from children when they're very little, or to not talk about such 'negative' things, in order to allow children to have as a 'good' a time as possible, and then what happens is they don't have any practical idea of the dangers out there or the consequences we can create for ourselves.

What we also tend to do is to 'create consequences' for children, which are then like 'fake' consequences, things like taking away the things they like to do like use their phone or the internet or the tv, but these so-called consequences are consequences that we did unto them, they are not the Actual consequences that would result from their behavior. So when we do this they are not learning about what their actual consequences of their actions are, they are only learning that if/when they are 'caught', by you, doing certain things, that then You will do something to them, or take something from them. So then what happens is you get in the way of them learning about actual consequence, because they are only now learning what you might do to them.

So the child actually has, from that perspective, very common sensical reason to lie to you – to avoid your punishment. So to tell the child not to lie to you, or it's not right to lie, is like, rather pointless because they found a benefit to lying, which was to get themselves out of punishment and get to do what they think they want to do, sometimes. So to say there is consequence to lying to you isn't going to make much sense, because to the child it will seem there is more consequence in not lying to you. Also, in the way the world is, one may find it necessary to lie in some circumstances. Because we as human beings are not yet trustworthy enough with each other to be able to just be honest all with everything. So, you don't want to form a morality toward lying as being right/wrong / good/bad. It is preferable to not lie of course.

So things like taking tv away or 'being grounded' for example, are actually 'punishments'. They are not the natural actual consequences that would result from what they are doing. Like for example, if you stay up late a lot it can affect the development of your body and lead to issues down the road, as the body depletes itself from not getting the rest it needs to rebuild itself from the day's living. Not – if you stay up late you will be grounded. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't give any practical understanding of the consequence they would create for themselves by not sleeping properly, that is the consequence You will create because You want them to sleep and not stay out late, so then it is about what You Want and not about what is Best for Themself.

As parents we have a tendency to attempt to control, because we don't believe anything else will work. We don't believe that a child would respond to common sense, because we haven't aligned ourself with common sense yet. So we think we have to 'put a foot down' and take control. So you're essentially demanding that they comply, and that is very unlikely to have a positive result. What it's going to look like to the child is that You want something of/from them, You wanting to control them/their behavior to the result You want. They are not going to see it as trying to prevent them from experiencing consequences in reality, as what is best for Them. Because that is in fact essentially what it is, it is wanting/demanding/expecting certain behavior from the child. That is in essence wanting to control another being, and most beings are not going to respond well to being controlled. I certainly didn't, if you have had experiences in your life where another was trying to control you, you can check what effect that had/how did you respond to that.

So we've got a ways to go in correcting ourselves, and the children are going to suffer through that, as did we also as children, but we'll walk ourselves out of this step by step until it's done, and we can challenge ourselves to make it as fun as we can, by not making things personal/judging. We have now the tools and just have to walk it, educate ourselves to become practical beings grounded here in reality.

An important point within this, is to look at everything from the perspective of what am I living, instead of what I'm expecting another to live for/toward me. And checking all points that come up, like if I am mad at them for lying – how/when/where do I or have I lied? Or if they aren't respecting me - how/where have I not been respectful? Where respect would mean treating another as my equal. There is the tendency to place all these expectations on another, without focusing on ourselves and our own living and behaviors.

And we need to educate ourselves on the actual consequences so we can effectively explain them - not the consequences we would create for them ourself. Give the child the common sense, so they can reason for themselves what is the best course of action. And if they make a mistake – do not judge them. And realize, they have not hurt you, they only hurt themselves. When we make it about me and what They're doing to Me, then it is about control and manipulation and enslavement instead of allowing a being their individual life and learning process. It is like the 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'. We can show the children where the water is, but we can't make them drink it. And the more we would try to force them to the more they would resist, because then it looks like we have some personal agenda or investment in it, and it is going to seem fishy. You've got to give the child their space to choose. Trust in a relationship is indeed something that is built, but you have to give trust at first for it to even be possible for trust to emerge. You have to trust the being, not to act how you want them to, but trust the being to hear common sense, and to understand the choices they face is always to do what is best for them or what is not. Maybe they will, and maybe they won't. But it must be up to the individual if we're to live as truly equals.
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Day 202: Is There a Cure for Homeless People?

I was in downtown Seattle and a 'homeless person' passing by a fast food restaurant called out to the employees there “Got any leftovers?” and seemed disgruntled when the reply was, as you might expect, “No.”

Having worked such jobs myself, I know exactly why a fast food restaurant generally is not going to hand out food to anyone. Unfortunately it's not something I could have explained then and there to that person, because it has quite a few dimensions to it, and requires a certain amount of understanding of how our economic system functions, and how that is the result of Who We Are as our current accepted Nature as human beings.

So, I realized what I could do is write a blog about this point, and that way have some more time and space to discuss the point, and where it will reach more people, which are really cool points that make blogging a cool platform for sharing information that is supportive, and obviously why everyone should have access to the internet. Because you know that that homeless person and probably most homeless individuals, likely does not have any access to the internet, isn’t going to be able to read this blog. And ‘having access’ doesn’t just mean having physical access to a computer with internet, it means having also the education and ability to navigate the internet effectively and to effectively understand words and meanings and an ability to distinguish between information that is supportive and that which is not. Everyone should be supported to have all these points, so that everyone has the equal opportunity to develop effective living in reality.

So, what is usually the case within working in corporate fast food establishments and comparable jobs, is that there are usually very specific accounting procedures for keeping track of inventory of each and every single item that is utilized or sold on a daily basis, where even items like food items that become too damaged to sell or are otherwise not sold for some reason but are consumed or thrown away for some reason, are also accounted for. Records are kept of exactly where everything goes. I suspect this is primarily to discourage and prevent employees from utilizing products themselves for free or giving them away for free. Keeping track of the inventory overall is, however, primarily for the purpose of maximizing profits and minimizing losses, through predicting the flow or demand of products in order to determine how much of what is needed when, so you don’t have too much that goes to waste and is a ‘loss’, and so you can have enough product available to sell according to how much is likely going to be purchased.

Interestingly, what this calculating shows is that we have the capability to utilize such calculations in a supportive way, where the starting point is not based in ‘profits/losses’, but in effectively distributing resources and goods according to actual need in ensuring that all have effective support in this reality.

So, why can’t leftovers be given away in most cases? Because all the product is accounted for, and even when there is some that cannot be sold not because it is bad or inedible, but because for example it is too small a portion to sell for the predetermined proportion/price, or maybe the item doesn’t look quite right, maybe it broke in half and this doesn’t ‘look good’ and so won’t be sold, why can’t these things be given away? Well, as an employee you’re often informed that if you give food away you’ll be reprimanded/there will be consequences where you could potentially even lose your job or face a fine. Now, considering how tight the job market is now and has been getting tighter and tighter, and how low wages are, it would be really stupid to take such a risk to one’s job, when it is your source of income and thus survival. Thus, the employees are not in such a position to give food away.

And obviously corporate companies that are in the business of profits are not going to condone giving food away for free, otherwise people would take advantage of this, and there'd be less income. And corporations do this because we have given the right to companies to exploit the resources for the profit of some, instead of ensuring that the finite resources of the earth are being effectively distributed to all parts of humanity so they can effectively support themselves.

I mean, the next time you find yourself being ‘pan-handled’ by a ‘homeless person’ – ask why does this even exist in the first place? There’s the tendency to judge homeless individuals as ‘less than’ and to get annoyed when they are begging for food or money. It’s treated as if their hunger and their homelessness is a lifestyle choice when maybe in some cases it is, but for the most part it is the result of an ineffective system that doesn’t provide adequate support to everyone equally; there are countless articles of individuals becoming homeless not through choice but for example through deliberately being taken advantage of by the credit industry. This is well documented, you will find books and articles on the subject explaining in detail how this has been happening, with the result that individuals and families have their homes taken from them and those who have no other option, suddenly find themselves on the street, and once you are there it is incredibly difficult to get out.

Here in Seattle, it's a touristy place, and you'll hear the tourists complain or talk down about the homeless people that try to pan-handle them, and it's like it is detracting from what is supposed to be their lovely 'vacation experience'. And locals as well will complain and act like the homeless are in a way deliberately bothersome, ignoring the fact that these beings have no constancy, no security, no creature comforts that the rest of us have, not to mention being driven to do and say things most never would, because their physical body needs such as the need for food are so extreme to drive one to do anything - yet no one mentions doing anything to actually prevent the situation of homelessness in the first place - so it's really bizarre to like complain about the problem and yet not even realize or care enough to even ask or consider how/why it's happening, where we'd then see that we're allowing it to be created in the first place - so we're really actually causing our own irritation - yes that's right - the homeless are your creation, so when you see a homeless person, or your nostrils are put out by the smell, realize we've created this, we're responsible, and thus it's up to us to do something about it, if we really don't want 'homeless people' and 'beggars' to be existing anymore.

So it really doesn’t make any sense that we would get annoyed at/bothered by homeless people, we’re really actually bothering ourselves because we didn’t bother to set up our economic system properly to ensure that the situation of homelessness isn’t created in the first place.

This is what the Basic Income Guaranteed or also called the Living Income Guaranteed, would sort out, as it provide an income to those who need it, to ensure that everyone has a home. There’s no reason for anyone to not have a home, as we all do realize that a home is required for proper living here, so there is no reason to allow people to go homeless when we have every capability to house everyone – what kind of beings would allow that? Cruel and unintelligent ones who like to create problems for themselves like where you can’t just walk through a city without being accosted by individuals in need and often smelling quite fierce, because they aren’t even able to clean themselves effectively. I mean, this is like primitive stuff, we should be way beyond this. We can be. The option is now here in the Living Income Guaranteed. It is simply up to us to not accept anything less than the best lives for ourselves, for support when we need it, and correcting our system to reflect that.
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Day 201: Bernard Poolman - A Being Who Lived Fully in the Service of Life to His Last Breath

Bernard Poolman has passed away, and the world has lost a Voice like it has never had. A Voice that spoke literally for All of Life, within the principle of Equality, within realizing that All Life is in fact Equal, that we're all made of the same substance, the same particles, and all the judgment and separation that we exist as toward each other, toward ourselves, toward any part of Existence, is in fact Bullshit.

None of the separation and judgment that we live as, that we participate in on a daily basis is in any way whatsoever, making this world a Better Place. It is what is making this world to be full of Abuse and Suffering, and which would lead to our Ultimate End eventually and inevitably, if we don't Change Ourselves.

Bernard stood as the example of what a human being could become when we really Live, when we are no longer a Slave to our Mind, to all the Brainwashing we have been inundated with from the moment we came into this world, with all the reasons and justifications as to why things apparently are the way they are and why it apparently it can't change, why we as humans apparently can't change, why you as an individual apparently can't change, why we must apparently accept everything exactly the way it is, even if it is leading to our own destruction bit by bit, with already billions suffering, and it's increasing.

I would not even be where I am today, in my own process of self change, if it was not for this example, for the support given, for the multitude of perspectives shared, which came from Bernard's own process of self change, of self expansion, of accepting no less from himself that to become a Being that actually stands for Life, that actually places the interest of All Life as the Most Important priority, I mean, it's who we really should have been/become – Beings that care for All of Existence as Ourself – because, it is ourself.

If you have a look at what we as humans have become, we have accepted limitation in practically every way possible. The most unlimited forms on this planet, and yet apparently we are too limited to be able to function effectively on and with this planet and it's ecosystem, which is our ecosystem, our system of life support, without which we cannot live, apparently we're too limited to make sure that every human being has what they need to live effectively, apparently we're too limited to be able to be able to change the world in any significant way, even though we are the ones creating it.

Bernard saw this, and as he would not accept limitation from himself, so he wouldn't accept it from anyone. He would not participate in or support anyone's excuses and justifications, on an individual level and from humanity as a whole. To do this, you have to actually have identified all limitations and justifications, you have to have put in the time and effort to have walked your own process to self realization in understanding exactly in detail how it is we limit ourselves so extensively, within limitations that aren't real, but are just beliefs existing only in our mind.

I never met a human being who had so absolutely stood within the commitment to in all ways consider what is best for life. Where, within humanity we for the most part judge and separate ourselves from each other, Bernard had no judgment toward anyone or anything, because he realized that that is the key to us ever changing – is for us to Forgive. Forgive each other, Forgive ourselves, and MOVE ON. To let go of everything and start anew, because it's the only way we can get out of these same patterns that we've been living as for practically as long as we've existed. We have to forgive ourselves of the patterns we've existed as, so that we can become something else, so that we can Forge ourselves as beings that Care for Ourselves and Care for Each Other, and never again allow such Extreme Abuse to take place as we have allowed thus far.

Never before have I experienced such a loss of someone who had Real Value, who had a Real Impact in reality, where the Whole World is worse off for not having them around. But what does that say about us? Why is it that we are not All beings of such Worth that each one of us would be Irreplaceable? Why is it that so far there was only one Human being who Lived so Fully in the Service of Life?

What I've realized is that because Bernard had Lived to the Extreme – he actually transcended Death – because he Gave All of himself to Life, and so he Is Here even beyond his Death, his Impact Remains. Life has forever been changed, the process has been set in motion for us all to finally stand up to become what we are truly capable of. We've got the example that we were waiting for, the example of standing up No Matter What, no matter if you are Standing Alone, because what else is there to do? Continue to accept the way things are? Continue to accept less and less from ourselves until we diminish into unimaginable levels of suffering and degradation?

Bernard's death has shown us that you really Do Not Know when you will take your Final Breath here – so it's up to You to live Fully in Every Moment, to make the most of the Time we have, so we can sort ourselves out, sort this reality out, and become Beings of Respect for Life, Beings of Integrity, Honor, Real Caring, so we can Create Life here as it should be, where we Expand and develop ourselves, where we actually Evolve, where Life is not Struggle and Hardship and Suffering, because it Does Not have to be. We are not actually Slaves and it's time we stand up and Value Life, by Valuing Ourselves, and accepting no less than the Best We Can Be.

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