Day 91: No More Disappointment – Commitment Statements

I commit myself to realize that the Disappointment character is a character that I created within me which utilize the resources of my human physical body and turn it into energy that I then experience, and where the creation of that energy depletes and diminishes my human physical body, and thus to participate in any character is to do harm to my physical human body, and thus why I commit myself to investigating myself from top to bottom til I root-out each and every character I’ve existed as, so that I can stop the participation in characters and live here as myself as the physical, constant and stable, and not depleting and harming myself through participation in energetic experiences which is not really living.

I commit myself to realizing that I am the cause/creator of the experience of disappointment, and thus when I experience disappointment, to realize that I am creating it, and thus that I am the solution to it, and that I must simply reverse the decision to participate in this character, into the decision not to, within the realization that when I choose to participate in this character that I am enslaving myself to an experience of energy and not allowing myself to be free from energetic experiences to really live and express myself as who I really am here as the breath, as the physical, not thoughts/emotions/feelings which are just energetic experiences depleting the physical resources of my body and causing it to deteriorate, so when I participate in energetic experiences I am actually busy killing myself slowly but surely to where I will eventually meet a gruesome end, so rather not walk that path, and thus I commit myself to realizing and reminding myself of the consequences at stake when and as I see myself participating in/about to participate in an energetic experience, to give myself the opportunity to stop, and reverse the dedication that I’ve been living to having and existing as energetic experiences and characters, into commitment to stop the mind to live as a real being here, where I am silent and dark within, where I can from that darkness and silence, truly express.
 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into/about to go into the character of Disappointment, to stop, breathe, and look at how I am disappointing myself, in where/how I have let myself down, within manifesting this experience of disappointment, so that I can see where it is that I require to stand and take self responsibility to expand and direct myself in a way that’s best for life.
 

I commit myself to reversing my trust that I have placed within the experience of the character of disappointment, wherein I’ve come to trust that I will go into and experience and participate in this character, and thus to instead place that same trust in that I will not participate in this character, for it is the trust that I place in that I will live as this character that ‘keeps me’ living as this character, over and over and over again and never changed, and so it is to simply take the trust I am already living, and simply now reverse it to living instead of enslavement, so that I can expand and grow to my full potential as a being that is actually present and aware and that can have an actual impact on the world/reality.

I commit myself to getting to know exactly how I’ve designed myself as the mind, piece by piece, layer by layer, so that I can take myself back from everywhere I’ve given up my self direction to my mind as how I’ve programmed myself to react to even just a single image in my mind where I become totally possessed just by accepting and believing in a single thought as if it is myself and who I am, as that is not living but walking dead, as repeating the memories of the past which are dead and gone and living the same patterns over and over, instead of living for real in each and every moment a new moment, a new breath.

I commit myself to realizing that when I go into the Disappointment character, that I’m actually placing myself as a victim to reality, because I’ve in some way ‘given up’ on myself, where instead of directing myself and my reality, I isolate and cut myself off from reality by going into the entire experience associated with the Disappointment character, as the specific backchat/internal conversations/emotion/feeling reactions that come up, thus instead of being here and fully participating in my world and reality, I am going into an experience within myself, which indicates that I have accepted to rather be in my mind that to be here, and thus I must be manifesting my own disappointment, because I’ve dis-Appointed myself as one who can actually be here and participate in reality, and thus I commit myself to investigate and identify every way in which I have dis-Appointed myself, and re-Appoint myself as the Solution, by not accepting myself to ‘leave reality’ by going into my mind, but to remain here in each and every moment and trust myself to face reality no matter what.

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Day 90: Self Forgiveness on the Disappointment Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the Disappointment Character, where I let myself be taken over completely by/into this character design that consists of an entire suite of specific thoughts, feelings, emotions, backchat, mannerisms, tonalities, internal conversations, behaviors, that I then become and live as, and thus am not here as myself, simply living here as breath and able to express myself, because I’m now trapped within an energetic possession where then all I think/do/say/act/feel is the preprogrammed reactions/behaviors of the character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I am faced with a reality that did not meet my expectations, and then experience disappointment, that I am the cause of that disappointment, because I am the one that created the expectation, and held on to the expectation, and decided that if I did not get my expectation, that I would go into an energetic experience as a reaction and thus become my own enslaver by enslaving myself within the character design play-out that I allowed to be activated and that I allowed myself to participate in. And thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that nothing and no one is ever the cause of my disappointment except myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my disappointment is actually disappointment with myself and thus I should look at what it is that I am disappointed with myself, to find where I have ‘let myself down’, so that I can take self responsibility for myself to stop disappointing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become accustomed to the entire experience of going into/becoming/being possessed by this character, such that it feels ‘normal’ and ‘right’ and that I feel like I don’t want to stop, because It’s what I’ve become used to and thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship/dependency to/toward a character, and to trust this feeling, and not realize that this is the perfect enslavement of myself so that I’ll never realize myself and my potential and stand up and make a difference in this world, but will remain possessed within a prescribed, predesigned character that is not life/living as instead of being here and participating in the world/reality, I’m busy within my mind as a character living according to the perceptions of my mind which aren’t real, and thus I’m not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow a single picture in my mind to trigger/activate an entire take-over/possession of myself, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design myself as my mind in such a way that this is even possible, and that I did not realize what I was doing as I was creating and programming myself as a character/characters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I go into the Disappointment character as a form of ‘Giving Up’, wherein I’ve accepted myself as a ‘victim’ to reality, where because things didn’t turn out as I’d expected, now I just ‘give up’ on reality, and then experience myself as not wanting to participate in reality, and thus when I experience the disappointment character, it’s to look at what have I ‘given up’ on, meaning where have I given up my self direction, my self responsibility, my self expression, and given in to reasons and justifications as to why I can’t participate now, because I was ready to only participate in one version of reality, the one I wanted/expected, within this, not considering how extensively I’ve limited myself by completely compromising my ability to act/live/speak/express/move in any moment no matter what happens. And thus, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I experience disappointment because I have given up on myself, and on my life, by compromising my self expression, my self direction, my self responsibility, my ability to live in the moment as myself and not as trapped and possessed within an energetic possession of my own creation.

Self Corrective Application on the Disappointment Character to follow in the next post..

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Day 89: The “I’m So Disappointed” Character

You know that feeling/experience of disappointment, like ‘ugh’, when something doesn’t go as you’d hoped/expected. And your shoulders sink down, and you become all ‘mopey’ and ‘sullen’, where your face kind of droops and you slouch, and you suddenly feel tired, and frustrated, like you’ve lost something that you had expected you were going to get, or that you had really wanted, or been looking forward to. Yes, that’s the Disappointment Character.

Activated by a single thought, where you picture how things ‘should’ have gone, or you wanted them to go, according to your hopes/expectations, and where you see that as ‘positive’, and then you compare that to what has actually transpired in reality, which is not what you’d expected, and so that becomes ‘negative’ and from these negative/positive associations, we determine how we’re going to feel inside, as negative or positive. In the case of the Disappointment Character, you have decided to feel negative about what has happened/taken place in reality. And this was done by comparing reality, to a picture in your mind.

So from one picture, flashing in your mind, has suddenly determined your entire experience of yourself, and has initiated a complete ‘take-over’, as you literally become this character of Disappointment, in its entirety, where now every thought/feeling/emotion/action you take/words you speak, is from within/as this ‘character of Disappointment’. So, in the moment that the picture flashed in our mind of what we would have liked/expected to happen and we saw ourselves experiencing ourself positively within that picture, and then we compared that picture to reality and since reality wasn’t as we’d wanted/expected, we decided that we must experience ourself negatively then, as now we’re ‘missing out’ on the positive experience we ‘would’ve had’, if things had gone how we’d wanted/expected. 

As the disappointment character, we become/experience feeling depressed and withdraw from the world/our reality, withdraw our participation, as we sink into the experience of this character, as if now we want to avoid reality and the negative experience ‘it’s causing’ within us, yet not realizing that we’re actually the one creating the negative experience within ourself. When faced with a reality that didn’t meet our expectations, it’s like we go into a reaction of ‘I didn’t get what I want’, which was to experience ourself positively, and then go into the reaction of feeling down and depressed, and since we’re actually the one creating/accepting/allowing/giving permission to this experience of negativity within ourself, we’re actually the one that’s manifesting exactly what it is we didn’t want – a negative experience. 

Within this character, one will participate in various backchat, like ‘I really wanted such-n-such’ / ‘I was really hoping for this/that’ / ‘this is such a let-down’ / ‘I’m so disappointed’ / ‘why did things have to happen this way?’ / ‘why couldn’t things have gone how I wanted?’ / ‘if only things could have gone like this/that’, where through these internal backchat conversations, we’re literally talking ourself into the experience of/relating to this character.

Thus participating in the character of Disappointment is actually deliberate self manipulation, where we inflict such an experience on ourselves, while disregarding the consequences to our physical, and to our very lives, as we’re literally programming ourselves with habits/behaviors of self limitation, programming it into the very physical as who we are, and how we’ll experience ourself over and over again, any time we’re faced with the situation where reality hasn’t gone according to our wants/desires/expectations. Thus, all we’re doing is developing reactions with ourself towards such scenario, which is in no way practical or assisting us in living our lives in a beneficial way. In the post to come, I’ll continue with the deconstruction of this character through walking Self Forgiveness on the Disappointment Character.

We can actually use this disappointment character to assist and support ourselves to see exactly where/to what we’ve ‘given permission’ to things/situations/events outside of ourself to determine how we’ll experience ourself, and thus through self forgiveness and practical application, assist and support ourselves by to no longer participate in the character of Disappointment, by looking at what was it that we wanted/were expecting that we thought would make ourself experience ourself positively, to see where we’ve separated ourself from ourself, in where we’ve allowed certain events/situations to determine how we’re going to experience ourself, instead of standing stable within ourself, constant as who we are, able/free to express ourself as who we really are in any moment, in any situation/event. So through one’s process of deconstructing this character, you can take back your self direction to no longer be controlled/directed by what happens/what doesn’t happen in your reality. More to come in the post to follow..