Day 69: Self Forgiveness on the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is only a thought that comes up that I accept so immediately that I do not even notice the thought, and immediately go into the specific play-out once the character has been activated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is a thought, and to not consider that if who I am is directed and controlled by a thought, then I am not really here as myself, as I’m being directed by something in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the thought/belief that I will fail, within this not considering how can I know that I will fail before I have even tried.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in this thought and believe it, that I will then actually manifest the failure myself, as I’ve already decided and accepted within myself that I am going to fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the thought I accepted, within this not realizing that this internal conversation was me reinforcing my belief in the thought and actually manifesting my own failure by actually literally talking myself into it, within the very words I allowed myself to speak within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘what is the point if I’m just going to fail’, and not realize that within this I have assumed/taken for granted that I will/am going to fail, and then to use this assumption/projection as an excuse to then not even try. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not yet effective at something, then I am certainly not going to get more effective by not doing it and walking the practical process that it takes to learn how to do something effectively, and thus the logic that there is ‘no point’ if I am ‘going to fail’ is completely backwards, as ‘failure’ or a miss-take, would simply indicate that I require to consider how to realign myself to the task at hand to be more effective in my approach, or to determine whether it is something I actually can’t do, and to then let it go completely to focus on what I can do, so that within this, my focus is always on how to be/become more effective in whatever way possible, and not sabotaging myself by holding myself back within a belief/assumption that I can’t do something and that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Man, I don’t want to go through that’, within this, not realizing that what it is that I am saying I ‘don’t want to go through’ is how I will experience myself within myself to/toward a certain situation, in this case ‘failure’ as how I’ve formed a relationship to this word, wherein I take it ‘personally’ and create an experience within myself when I have ‘failed’, wherein I will experience depression, self pity, sadness, anger, rage, disappointment in myself, and it is actually these feelings/emotions that experience in reaction to ‘failure’ that I am wanting to avoid/not go through, by not even trying. Thus the solution is not to stop trying in an attempt to avoid the situation that would trigger this reaction, but rather to stop allowing this experience within myself, toward ‘failure’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Why do I always fail?’ within this not realizing that I do not actually always fail, that I am just seeing it this way within my mind in order to manipulate myself to have an energetic experience, in order to distract myself from actually applying myself here, within this not realizing how the mind distort reality which indicates that the mind cannot be trusted as it will lead to self deception and patterns that support self limitation in separating oneself from reality into a world of make-believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore how I have been mind controlled by a single thought, where just from believing in and participating in a single thought, an entire pattern of physical behaviors, backchat internal conversations and emotion/feeling experiences is activated which I am not actually directing, and thus I am actually allowing myself to be a mind possessed zombie that is not actually here and not actually living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that by giving in to the thought of failure and becoming the ‘fear of failure’ character, I am accepting self limitation, and thus sabotaging myself to not grow/expand/develop into my fullest potential and be a real being here.

Day 54 – The ‘Processed Foods are Bad for You’ Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe that processed foods are bad for me, based on the information that I read while doing research into what diet is best for myself as a human being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I started my research within a starting point of looking for what foods are ‘good’ and what foods are ‘bad’, and that within that starting point, I was already making the judgment/assumption that some foods are ‘good’ and some foods are ‘bad’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by researching from a perspective of looking for ‘what foods are good’ and ‘what foods are bad’, that I would find answers which told me that certain foods are good and certain foods are bad, which would seem to confirm my belief/perception that certain foods are good and certain foods are bad. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I come from a certain ‘point of view’, the information I find will be that which will confirm my point of view, as it is already decided/implied/suggested within the question I have asked and the answer I receive will be equal to my question.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to do effective real research I must be able to approach all information without a point of view, otherwise that point of view is going to limit/shape/distort my perception of the research I do, as I will be viewing it and comparing it to the picture/idea as expectation I already have in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was looking at it from the perspective of what foods are ‘good’ and what foods are ‘bad’, partly because I actually wanted it to be that simple, I wanted an easy answer that I could just accept and follow, because polarities are simple in design, it’s either this or that, left or right, right or wrong, good or bad, and no actual investigation or real time discovery is required within that, as the answer is never one that will expand one’s understanding of this world as physical reality, but that rather simply tells one what to do, as ‘don’t do this’ or ‘don’t do that’. 

And thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I actually limit myself by believing that I am the voice in my head/the character that says ‘I don’t want to take the time and effort’ to get to know myself and my physical reality, where I thus limit my effectiveness as a real participant in this world, because then all I have is information/knowledge and no practical experience in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by seeking answers from within/as a preconceived point of view, I am limiting myself by not actively investigating my world and reality within common sense investigation of what is here, and not actually getting to know myself as this physical reality, and instead getting to know only information which I then become and live as, and thus form a character in separation of reality. And thus –

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form myself as the character of ‘processed foods are bad’, within this forming a negative feeling/reaction within myself toward processed foods, and a certain set of backchat to/toward processed food, and if I had to eat processed food, where I would go into thoughts like ‘oh great, I am not going to feel well after eating this’ wherein I am telling my physical to react to this food, and thus I will experience results that seem to confirm my expectation/belief – but that obviously can’t be trusted as I have affected myself through my participation in thoughts which sends a direct message to my body as the mind is literally infused within and as the very flesh of the human physical body.

I commit myself to ensuring that I remove the polarity of ‘good and bad’ within myself, within the realization that such a polarity only serves to keep me limited within a thought construct as a point of view, wherein I am simply passing a judgment on what is here in the physical reality based on information, instead of seeing what is here in the full context of reality so that I can understand how this world as the physical reality and myself as a physical being within physical reality actually operates/functions.

I commit myself to realizing that when I look at information from within a certain point of view, that I cannot trust what I find, as I will see the answer from within my point of view, and thus not as accurate direct feedback of myself, my world and reality.

And thus, I commit myself to removing all points of view within myself, by identifying what I thoughts/memories/beliefs/definitions I have attached to what is here and releasing them through self forgiveness and then walking the correction of simply being here and seeing what is here, without judgments or assumptions, so that I can actually get to know myself as a physical being and this physical reality. 

I commit myself to realizing that the answers I get will always be equal to my questions, and thus I must ensure that I am free from the mind’s influence so that I can evaluate all information within common sense, which I commit myself to do through the process of self-writing and self-investigation to uncover to myself where I have allowed myself to be influenced by the mind and self-forgiveness and corrective application to stop my participation in the mind as perceptions through which I view the world through a point of view, so that I can see what is direct here, without being distorted by the mind’s interpretation, based on past experiences/memories.

I commit myself to no longer look for ‘easy answers’ because I realize that there is no ‘easy answer’ that is a real answer, that will expand my understanding of and ability to participate in this physical world and reality.

I commit myself to stop participation in points of view so that I can do real effective research by approaching all information without a point of view that is going to limit/shape/contort what I hear and see, and thus I commit myself to noticing when I am comparing what is here to a point of view in my mind as pictures/ideas/expectations and deleting the point of view, so that I can simply see what is actually here, and not an idea in my mind.

I commit myself to deleting the character of ‘processed foods are bad’, so that I can be sure that I no longer influence my human physical body through participation in a character as thoughts and backchat that will determine how I experience myself and the relationship between my physical body and the food I consume to sustain my human physical body.