Day 77: The ‘I Can Do This’ Character

The 'I Can Do It' Character comes up when activated by the thought as a picture of me failing, where for example, I am about to attempt something like a new job, and the picture comes up of me in the job and failing at it, and thus I then experience the fear of that I cannot do this, where the backchat comes up of ‘oh god, what if I can’t do this?’ this is when the ‘I Can Do This’ character becomes activated, wherein I’m trying to cover up and deny that I am experiencing the fear of failure and that I have accepted and validated the picture of myself failing as real, and instead of realizing that I have simply believed in a picture that isn’t real, and thus can simply stop believing in/validating it, I rather create a new character to super-impose on top of the fear experience so that I can suppress the fear experience as how I’m actually experiencing myself and pretend to myself that that is not how I am actually experiencing myself, by deciding that how I’m going to experience myself is ‘believing that I Can do it’, yet not realizing that this belief and this character are just as fake as the initial thought and fear that triggered me to create and participate in this character. 

When I faced the point of doing a job I’d never done before, and the picture of me failing came up, I created this character because I did not want to accept the picture of me ‘not being able to do it’, as failure was simply ‘not an option’, because I required a job to be able to survive. So the creation of this character comes down to the point of ‘survival’, showing how we’ve not actually yet evolved as humanity, because we’re still allowing ourselves to exist within/as survival as how we view, perceive, and interact with the world and situations in our environment.

I saw it as I simply could not accept this picture of me failing, because I needed to succeed in order to ensure my survival, yet not realizing that what was required then was to simply not accept the picture as real, and that by creating and superimposing a character over top of my actual experience, what I was actually doing was distracting me from actually facing the thought I had accepted, to see that it was in fact not real and only a picture in my mind, and rather focusing on creating and living as yet another character, as a personality suit of mannerisms & behaviors that I act as instead of being here as myself.

Then when I live as this character, I’m putting on a ‘fake air’ of what I can/can’t do only based on an idea and not actual reality, and this will lead to disappointing results, as believing/pretending I can do something and actually being able to do it, are two different things. Thus, I’ll manifest consequences by not living one and equal as who I am by trying to put on a presentation of what ‘I can do’, regardless of actual reality, and actually sabotaging myself by setting myself up for situations where reality is going to clash with the presentation I am trying to uphold, which is completely unnecessary, as I can simply be here as myself, not requiring to ‘know’ what I can and can’t do as knowledge in my mind, but rather walk here as a physical being and ‘find out’ what I can do, by actually participating and moving myself in physical reality, so that I will actually find out what I really can do, and not be living a pretense. 

And within this realizing that skills and abilities take time as a practical process walked in the physical to develop such skill/ability, and thus further evidence it really doesn’t work to pretend and put on a character seeking to convince that we can do something, when we’re really just trying to convince ourself, because we already realize that we have not made such an ability a reality yet, and thus can only ‘convince’ ourself that it is reality, within this deluding ourself by taking ourself into an alternate reality in the mind.

Self Forgiveness on the "I Can Do It" character will be walked within the following post.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous12:12 AM

    this is assisting Kelly, I can certainly identify with this character. This character is also part of the consumer culture we live - thanks for sharing!