Day 81: Self Forgiveness on the “There’s Nothing Wrong with Eating Chocolate” Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship toward chocolate, wherein I’ve made chocolate ‘more’ than it is, by attaching a positive experience toward chocolate and the act of eating chocolate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the event where as a child I was presented with chocolate as if it were something special and would do something special for me/to me, and within this not realizing that the positive experience I experienced within myself to/toward chocolate was my own creation and not the chocolate. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the character of “There’s Nothing Wrong with Eating Chocolate” as a defense mechanism of the mind to not see/investigate how I am actually in fact living my relationship to chocolate, and whether I am living in/as a polarity toward chocolate within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this character when I feared that my ability/freedom to eat chocolate was threatened, instead of realizing that what that fear was indicating was that I was holding onto a relationship toward chocolate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that to not have a relationship toward chocolate is in my best interest, not the desire for chocolate, as the desire keeps me enslaved to something in separation from myself, where I am moved by the mind as the associations I have attached to ‘chocolate’ rather than self-moving, self-directed and not wasting my life with/in habits of dependency, that have the consequence of causing harm to my physical human body, as I am feeding the desires of my mind while it is the physical that has to deal with what I put in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself as the physical by participating in mind-based relationships toward what is here, instead of directing myself and living within common sense practicality as what is best for myself as a physical being in this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately ignore the common sense practicality in the moment and instead of acting/living according to what is common sense here in the moment, to ‘give in’ to thoughts and backchat that come up according to the character I have formed in relation to chocolate, and live instead as the character, when that leads to consequence that could be avoided by sticking to what I see is practical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to excuses and justifications as backchat, as if they are valid in any way, when the purpose of backchat is always to ‘convince’ me of something in spite of what is common sense practical here in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to copy the behaviors of those around me and the way they acted toward/their relationship toward chocolate, and not to question why I should develop such a relationship toward chocolate, because I wanted to experience the positive experience too that others were apparently experiencing due to chocolate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationships as characters to what is here and to not realize that I did this deliberately as I had to ignore the consequence I caused/created by listening to the inner voices of backchat and allowing myself to be directed by voices in my head, instead of remaining here in actual reality.