Day 93: I Can’t Afford It - Self Forgiveness

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make ‘not being able to afford something’ into a personal experience, wherein I’d experience anxiety at the thought of having to explain that I cannot afford something, instead of simply communicating the point that I cannot afford it, without any energy behind it, just as a simple statement of the facts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive that I’m doing/have done something wrong within not being able to pay, or that I have failed as a person to do what one is expected/supposed to do which is to earn a sufficient living within the system, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally as a reflection on myself of my self worth/value/effectiveness as a human being in this reality, not realizing/seeing/understanding that the current system does not allow everyone to earn a sufficient living, and thus to blame myself as an individual is ignoring the fact that it is each individual collectively that has/is agreeing upon the current system to not effectively support everyone, and thus it is not to ‘get lost’ within taking it personal and creating and going into a personal experience about it, but to rather come to understand how it is I am responsible for accepting and allowing the current system to exist as it does, and to find and implement solutions, such as exposing the ineffectiveness of the current system and the consequences of accepting and allowing it, so that all can see the common sense in rather implementing a system which supports everyone, as the Equal Money System does, so that we can stop manifesting these consequences and life can actually be able to be enjoyed by all, with none left deliberately unsupported to suffer for the sake of a few to make a profit off of the rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear/resist exposing what is actually going on within the world, within the system we’re currently accepting and allowing, as it’s been humanity giving in to that fear/resistance that has kept us from really facing what it is we’re actually busy allowing, and to then take action to change our reality to one that is actually beneficial to life, rather than destroying life for profit and greed toward the end of destroying ourselves and our entire home here as earth, the animals, nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only wait for some situation to arise where for example someone can’t afford the necessary healthcare, before I even consider or think about the suffering that’s going on in this world, because it’s not happening to me, and thus I can ignore it, and then when the situation is over, to go back to my life of comfort, making excuses in my mind as to why I need not concern myself with the plight of this world, as if the world is something separate from me, and not considering that I am actually responsible for the suffering taking place, as I am benefitting from the current system, while accepting the fact that it’s not supporting everyone, and thus it’s my responsibility to stand up and say this is unacceptable, within the realization that I would not want to be one of those who are suffering while others are living comfortably and accepting my suffering, when we could actually all be supported equally so that no suffering happens. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist creating ‘awkward’ situations, where reality is exposed, not realizing that that experience of awkwardness, is because we realize that we are actually responsible for the suffering that’s taking place while we do nothing about it, and thus why we feel suddenly anxious/nervous, because the truth of ourselves is being exposed and can no longer be denied, of what we’re allowing to take place in the world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a society in which we make it personal, where we act as though if you haven’t ‘made it’ and ‘found your own way’ in the system, that this is because you have failed as a person, deliberately ignoring the blatant fact that not all start in the same conditions, that what situation you are born into practically determines what kind of a life you will have or won’t have, in terms of how supported you’ll be and whether you’ll have a dignified life or not, and deliberately ignoring that all have an equal right to a dignified life, and thus we should have a system that reflect that, and gives all a dignified life, which would reflect that we are actually beings of integrity, respect and honor toward ourselves and each other as life.

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