Day 78: Self Forgiveness for the “I Can Do It” Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and believe in the picture that comes up in my mind of me not being able to do something, and then as a response/reaction to this picture, to have created and go into the “I Can Do It” character, wherein I’m trying to convince myself that ‘I can do it’, which is only an illusion in my mind as it’s not based on actual reality that I have lived/am living as who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the picture of me failing to do something is only a picture in my mind, and not actual reality, and thus when I believe in the picture I’m believing in an illusion, the consequence of which is that I then become an illusion as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that shaping myself as a picture in my mind, is not changing me as who I am in actual reality, and thus to participate and believe in the pictures I see in my mind, is a waste of time, as instead of taking action in the physical reality to actually change and expand myself, I am only busying myself with pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moment the picture of me failing comes up, to instantly believe in it, and then to think that the only solution is by creating a character to superimpose on myself of that I ‘can do it’, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what I was doing was attempting to ‘cover up’ the reality that I saw as the picture in my mind that I believed with yet another picture illusion, and thus I was staying completely within the realm of pictures, within the fantasy-land of the mind, and not actually here, never actually really dealing with myself as who I actually am and what I’m living as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the picture that came up within my mind of me failing to do something, which I used this internal conversation to convince and talk myself into going into the character of ‘I can do it’, using backchat such as ‘oh god, what if I can’t do this’, ‘that’s just not an option’, ‘I have to do this’, ‘I must not fail at this’, within this internal conversation giving myself no other option than to pretend that ‘I can do it’, instead of seeing/realizing that the picture and belief that I am going to fail isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how this shows just how much we’re controlled by pictures within our mind, as we’ll completely allow ourselves to be directed by the pictures that come up, instantaneously believing in them as valid and real, and having complete reactionary experiences based off of them, completely removing ourself from reality, and so have we ever really been here if we’ve always been believing in and living according to the pictures in our mind?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by changing the picture that I see in my mind that I am actually somehow changing myself and how I experience myself, and within this not realizing that if we are living as the pictures in our minds, then we are living in ignorance of our actual effect on reality in what we’re actually creating in actual reality, as we’re only busy with the pictures in our mind.

  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must appear to be able to do something, within this not realizing that I am living within the fear of survival and am allowing this fear to control/direct my behavior, instead of me moving myself here, in common sense consideration of the current state of reality and what actions may be best to take in a given situation, where because I am living as a reaction to this fear, I am not free to take everything into consideration, as for the moment who I am becomes this fear and the associated reactions, and that is all I can think/say/do/act within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive reaction when I participate in the 'I can do it' character and then I succeed at what it is I am attempting to do, and then to take this as validation for participating in this character, because I have apparently succeeded due to living as this character, and not considering that it was the actions I took in the physical and how I applied myself in the physical that determined whether I succeeded or not, and not the character I was participating in, as the character isn't actually real, existing in substance, but is only an idea in mind, and within this, to ignore the times where I did not succeed when living as this character, so that I can believe that participating in this character is beneficial to me and continue to remain trapped  within predesigned, preprogrammed fictional characters.