Showing posts with label I don't want to. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I don't want to. Show all posts

Day 151: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 1)



Quote by Sunette Spies

This post is a continuation to:


In this post, we’re now continuing with the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, and we’re now going to walk the Physical/Behavior Dimension, in which we take a look at what kind of Physical and Behavioral changes I experience when living as/participating in this particular character, where from going from the thought, into imagination, to backchat, and to reactions, I then Embody this character within actual physical behaviors/experiences. This to get a thorough understanding of the character and all its dimensions, in order to assist and support myself to, through being able to see all the mechanisms at play, be able to clearly identify in the moment what is taking place within this character, to change myself from existing as this personality/character pattern/playout, and walk myself into real actual living.
In this we’ll be taking a look at both the negative and positive dimensions of the internal and external physical changes/experiences that I notice activate.

Negative Dimensions Internal Changes:
When I was participating in the ‘dread’ that was coming up toward the thought, imagination and backchat in relation to not enjoying work, my shoulders tightened and I felt tension in my neck and my body felt stiff, like suddenly difficult to move, and felt colder.

I noticed when I was participating in the experience of ‘anxiety’ that came up toward the backchat of “Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well”, there was like a cramping in my gut, and a feeling of weakness throughout my body.

When and as I experienced the ‘depression’, that came up toward the backchat “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”, I felt tired and my eyes felt heavy.

Positive Dimensions Internal Changes:
When and as I was participating in the ‘comfort’ I experienced in relation to the thoughts, imagination and backchat of ‘what I’d rather be doing’, my body relaxed and wasn’t as stiff, but now became a bit sluggish like over-relaxed, and felt warmer.

When I experienced ‘relaxation’ toward the backchat “I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax’, my body felt a bit energized, and not so sluggish and my eyes weren’t as heavy.

Negative Dimensions External Changes:
As I was participating in the Negative Dimensions of the character/personality, I noticed I sat further back in my chair, and also slouched down in it, and became very stiff so that movements would be kind of ‘jagged’.

Positive Dimensions External Changes:
When and as I was participating in the Positive Dimensions, I noticed I sat up straighter and my movements became more flowing and not so jagged, and felt like I was more ready to get up and do things, like the things that came up in my imagination and backchat as ‘what I’d rather be doing’, instead of the task at hand.

In the next post, we’ll walk the Self Forgiveness on the points opened up here.
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Day 148: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 1)



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This post is a continuation to:
Day 139: The ‘I Don’t Want To Do This’ Character
Day 140: 'I Don’t Want to Do This': Thought Dimension
Day 141: I Don’t Want to Do This: Thought Dimension (Part 2)
Day 143: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 1)
Day 144: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 2)
Day 145: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 3) Day 147: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 2)


Now we’re going to walk the Reaction Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, to have a look at what kind of emotions and feelings activate within me, along with the Thought, Imagination and Backchat Dimensions, which will eventually result in a change to my physical condition/behaviour/body language, where what I’m participating in and experiencing within the mind actually gets lived out in the physical. For more context and further detailed perspective on the Reaction Dimension, read from Heaven’s Journey to Life: Character Dimensions – REACTION Dimension (Part 1): DAY 170

The Reaction Dimension is one more step in further substantiating/solidifying myself within the experience within this character, as through the Reaction Dimension one activate emotions and feelings as energy-experiences which are further backed/supported by/through the Imagination and Backchat Dimensions, where now essentially my physical body is ‘possessed’ by this energy-experience, and thus making it seem easier to give in to this experience of energy of the Mind, as it’s ‘here’, I’m experiencing, and depending on how much I have participated in this particular character and the extent to which I’ve allowed such energy-reactions within me, it can seem to be ‘very strong/intense’ and thus I’ll ‘give in’ to this experience.

However, as I continue to assist and support myself within standing as the decision to no longer accept and allow myself to participate in the I Don’t Want to Do This Character and all its Dimensions, the seeming ‘strength’/’intensity’ of these energy experiences will eventually diminish until they eventually disappear altogether, thus showing just how limited these energy-experiences are after all.

So, we’ll now walk through in writing the Reactions as emotions and feelings that come up within me within/toward each Dimension, starting with the Thought Dimension, and then going into the Imagination and Backchat Dimensions, and then eventually getting to the application of Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements on the Reactions that came up for each Dimension. Within this, to go from self-unaware within being controlled by energy of the mind as feelings/emotions, to self awareness as seeing and understanding what takes place in my mind and that it is simply a process that is not actually me as who I am, and to within this, stop participation in/as the mind, and develop self-willed self direction to live here as myself, no longer becoming possessed by/within Characters/Personalities, so that I can effectively direct myself within my responsibilities and really fully live.

Thought Dimension: Emotion/Feeling Reactions:
So, where in the Thought Dimension, the thought that came up that I am going to ‘not enjoy working’, according to memories of past experiences of working and not enjoying myself. Toward this thought, the reaction I experienced was the negative emotion of ‘Dread’, wherein I went into an energetic experience of ‘dreading’ the hours to come while working, within having accepted the thought that I am going to ‘not enjoy myself’ while working.

Imagination Dimension: Emotion/Feeling Reactions:
Within the Imagination Dimension, where I go into the ‘positive’ imagination of what ‘I’d rather be doing’, as for example being at home not working, I experience a positive feeling of ‘Comfort’, as the images and scenarios play out in my mind of not having to work and getting to be at home, as I’ve associated ‘not working’ and ‘being at home’ with being ‘comfortable’, and this especially comes up in situations when I am working in ‘inclement’ weather, such as wind and rain and cold.

Backchat Dimension: Emotion/Feeling Reactions:
In the Backchat Dimension, when I am participating in the backchat of for example “Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well”, I experience the Emotions of ‘Anxiety’, within the fear/expectation/projection of how I am going to experience myself ‘negatively’ as ‘not enjoying myself’.

Within toward the backchat of “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”” I experience the Emotion of ‘Depression’ wherein I go into an energy-experience of feeling depressed for having to work and not being able get out of it or do something else.

Toward the backchat “I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax”, I experience the Positive Feeling of ‘Relaxation’ within imagining myself no longer working and getting to relax.

In the following post, we’ll continue with the Self Forgiveness on the Emotions/Feelings that we’ve written out here within opening up the Reaction Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality.
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Day 147: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 2)




This post is a continuation to:
Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)


Here in this post we’re continuing with the Backchat Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, in walking the practical application of Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements.

Backchat Dimension: Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with an opportunity to expand myself in this world within working/doing my job, through which I can ensure my financial stability and expand my skills within the system to put myself in the best position to make an impact in this reality, to sabotage my application within working/doing my job by participating in the initial thought, and then the imagination, and then into backchat, and within this not seeing the relationship that I’ve formed toward/in relation to working/doing my job, where instead of simply being here, stable, and applying myself, I take this event/situation and create positive and negative energy-experiences toward it, which I further substantiate by participating in backchat such as “Man I really don’t want to do this”. Within this, not realizing the connection I am formulating and substantiating within my mind toward working where I’m forming a negatively-charged association within myself toward working/doing my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a moment of facing self movement as self expression in applying myself within my job/working, to accept and allow myself to go into my mind, taking my attention away from reality and doing my job here, and instead go into my imagination in an alternate version of reality where I have a relationship toward working as negative, and then using the backchat of for example “I am not going to enjoy this”, to take me further into the belief that ‘I am’ this negative experience/relationship toward working/doing my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with a moment of simply moving myself here as myself within expanding and applying myself within my job/working, to instead go into my imagination in imagining what I’d rather be doing, and from here to go into the backchat “I wish I could be doing something else”, to confirm that relationship within my imagination, and not considering within this that what it is I am trying to avoid is the negative experience within myself, and not the job itself, and within this to not consider that I am the one creating the negative experience within me, and thus can simply stop creating it, through stopping participation in the thoughts, imagination and backchat through which I create and manifest the negative experience in the first place.

Backchat Dimension: Commitment Statements:
I commit myself to when faced with an opportunity to expand myself in this world within working/doing my job, and I notice myself participating within a relationship within my mind toward working/doing my job within imagination and backchat, I breathe, bring myself back here, and stop participating in the imagination and backchat, to no longer accept and allow myself to continue existing as this pattern, as I realise that I am only sabotaging myself and my application of myself within working/doing my job, through which I have the opportunity to make sure I am financially stable and develop skills that will assist me to get into an effective position within the system to have a real impact in this world.

I commit myself to, when and as I notice I am participating in backchat, to assist and support myself with breathing and bringing myself back to reality to ground myself here, within this, realizing that I must actually move myself out of the mind and energy-experience, back into physical reality, within the moment of doing my job/working.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself participating in backchat, to stop participation as I see, realize and understand that if I allow myself to participate in the backchat, that I am making a deliberate decision to accept myself to continue living out/existing as these patterns of energy-experiences, and thus accepting myself as not ever able to be here without these energy-experiences but stable and constant as myself, and thus I commit myself to stop participation in backchat, as I realise that to participate in the backchat is the deliberate decision to accept and allow myself to remain limited forever and a slave to my own mind, and that I really cannot accept this as who I am into eternity.

And thus, I commit myself to stopping all the ways in which I limit myself and my participation here, so that I can really fully live up to my potential, especially within working/doing my job, to take full advantage of the opportunity that is here, for who knows how long, to do what I can to get myself into an effective position in the system to make change that is to the benefit of all life, as up ‘til now, we’ve let those who would abuse life take prominent/powerful positions within the system, and thus it’s time to stand up in consideration of life, and the common sense that to abuse what is here is really abusing ourselves, and therefore we must do what it takes to establish an Equal Money System to stop the abuse of life, so we can create a life for all here that is free of unnecessary suffering.