Day 151: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 1)



Quote by Sunette Spies

This post is a continuation to:


In this post, we’re now continuing with the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, and we’re now going to walk the Physical/Behavior Dimension, in which we take a look at what kind of Physical and Behavioral changes I experience when living as/participating in this particular character, where from going from the thought, into imagination, to backchat, and to reactions, I then Embody this character within actual physical behaviors/experiences. This to get a thorough understanding of the character and all its dimensions, in order to assist and support myself to, through being able to see all the mechanisms at play, be able to clearly identify in the moment what is taking place within this character, to change myself from existing as this personality/character pattern/playout, and walk myself into real actual living.
In this we’ll be taking a look at both the negative and positive dimensions of the internal and external physical changes/experiences that I notice activate.

Negative Dimensions Internal Changes:
When I was participating in the ‘dread’ that was coming up toward the thought, imagination and backchat in relation to not enjoying work, my shoulders tightened and I felt tension in my neck and my body felt stiff, like suddenly difficult to move, and felt colder.

I noticed when I was participating in the experience of ‘anxiety’ that came up toward the backchat of “Man I really don’t want to do this” / “I am not going to enjoy this” / “This is not going to go well”, there was like a cramping in my gut, and a feeling of weakness throughout my body.

When and as I experienced the ‘depression’, that came up toward the backchat “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished” / “I wish I could be doing something else” / “It’s going to be so long before I’m finished”, I felt tired and my eyes felt heavy.

Positive Dimensions Internal Changes:
When and as I was participating in the ‘comfort’ I experienced in relation to the thoughts, imagination and backchat of ‘what I’d rather be doing’, my body relaxed and wasn’t as stiff, but now became a bit sluggish like over-relaxed, and felt warmer.

When I experienced ‘relaxation’ toward the backchat “I would be so much more comfortable if I was at home right now” / “I’d be so relieved to be able to stop working now for the day” / “I really can’t wait to be done working” / “I’ll finally be able to enjoy myself once I’m done working” / “It’d be so nice to just sit down and relax’, my body felt a bit energized, and not so sluggish and my eyes weren’t as heavy.

Negative Dimensions External Changes:
As I was participating in the Negative Dimensions of the character/personality, I noticed I sat further back in my chair, and also slouched down in it, and became very stiff so that movements would be kind of ‘jagged’.

Positive Dimensions External Changes:
When and as I was participating in the Positive Dimensions, I noticed I sat up straighter and my movements became more flowing and not so jagged, and felt like I was more ready to get up and do things, like the things that came up in my imagination and backchat as ‘what I’d rather be doing’, instead of the task at hand.

In the next post, we’ll walk the Self Forgiveness on the points opened up here.
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