Day 152: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 2)

Featured Artwork by Rozelle De Lange

This post is a continuation to:

Here we’ll continue from the previous post, in walking the Self Forgiveness on the Positive and Negative, Internal and External physical changes that come up within the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working.

Negative Dimensions Internal Changes Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with my physical body within the dimensions of thought, imagination, backchat and reactions within the energy of dread, anxiety and depression, where through that energy of/from the Mind in separation of myself as my physical body, I manifested the physical changes/conditions of my shoulders tightening, tension in my neck, my body feeling stiff and difficult to move, and my body feeling colder, a cramping in my gut, my body feeling weak and tired, and my eyes becoming heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am actually altering and changing my physical body and its natural stability, by manipulating it with/through the energies of the mind within the dimensions of a character /personality system of the mind, that is merged within my physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe for so long that this is ‘normal’, as the ‘normal’ way to experience oneself as manipulating myself with the energies of the mind and through this changing how I experience myself in/as my physical body, and within this, to not see, realize and understand how the relationship I’ve formed to my physical body is dependent on the experience that i create from within and as Thought, Imagination, Backchat and Reactions, that have come to determine how I experience myself as an Experience within the physical. Within this, not seeing, realizing and understanding what it is I’m actually doing to my physical, never considering what the consequences will be to my physical body of manipulating my body within/through these experiences utilizing the energy of the Mind, as I’m too busy caught up in the Mind in the Dimensions of this Character/Personality in protecting/serving my own ‘self interest’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so separate myself from my physical body, that I am more occupied with the Thoughts, Imagination, Backchat and Reactions coming up within/from my Mind, within the dread, anxiety and depression, that I am not even considering what is going on in/as my physical as the consequence of participation in the mind, even though I can to an extent see/feel what is taking place within my physical body as for example the tension in my neck and shoulders, my body feeling weak and tired, a cramping in my gut and my eyes feeling heavy. And that I will then use these very physical conditions which I’ve manifested through my participation in the Mind, as excuse/reason/justification to avoid ‘the negative’ as what it is that I am facing, as for example working/doing my job, and instead seek ‘the positive’ within my Mind. Within this not even questioning how/why it is that my body is changing like this internally, from in one moment, being stable here as myself, then suddenly going into a ‘negative’ experience of tension and stiffness, and then suddenly having an opposite change into a ‘positive’ experience, and what it is I’m doing to accept and allow this? But instead, using these physical conditions that I’ve created as the excuse to justify going after what it is ‘I want’, instead of taking care of my responsibilities here, and thus sabotaging myself and my living here, all for the sake of energy-experiences, at the expense of the physical.

In the next post, we’ll continue walking the Self Forgiveness on the Physical/Behavior Dimension.
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