Day 55: The 'Organic is Best' Character

Thus far I’ve walked through the vegan/vegetarian character, the ‘I’m too fat’ character, the ‘I want to be theperfect cook’ character, the ‘sugar is bad for you’ character, and the ‘processedfoods are bad for you’ character, all characters I’d formed in relation to food/diet/nutrition, based on ideas and information I’d come across. Now we’ll pull apart yet another character in relations to diet/food/nutrition – the ‘organic foods are best character’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that organic foods are best for humans to consume, within this not taking into consideration the big picture, like where the organic foods were coming from, what were the actual laws and standards around organic foods, and what is the impact the creation of an organic foods industry is going to have on the bigger picture, in terms of how arable land is going to be used, how the organics are going to be distributed, can you really have organic foods unless everyone goes organic as the world environment is an open system, how will those in poverty be able to get organic foods. Thus within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that my decision that organic foods was best for humans, was flawed, as I was not even considering the entirety of the situation.

I commit myself to investigating and considering the whole entire picture, so that the decisions I make will be that which supports all life, within full consideration of the impacts/effects/outflows, so that I can create in awareness and ensure that I do not manifest conditions that compromise any being through my ignorance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the belief that I felt better when eating organic foods was influenced by my belief and expectation that it would make me feel better, and that I was functioning just fine on 'non organic' foods.

I commit myself to not participating in beliefs and expectations of what 'something will do to me' as I then invalidate the results that I experience as if I am participating in my mind I can be certain that I am distorting the results.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was only considering myself and my immediate reality and not considering myself as a part of the greater humanity, what the current state of humanity was/is, and thus not realizing that what I was living as ‘organic foods are best’ was not relevant in terms of the bigger picture, in that encouraging the elite populations of the world to eat organics, all I was doing was serving as an advertisement for the forming organics industry in promoting organics to those in a position to afford it and have access to it in stores, while there would otherwise be no impact on the earth and the entire rest of humanity, as the elite is only a small minority.

I commit myself to considering the entirety of the bigger picture, in realizing that I am actually part of and not separatefrom the ‘bigger picture’, and thus the entire picture must be considered to ensure that, that which I support and accept and allow as ways to live, is in support of all life and that I am not supporting that which would cause harm to any being, including myself.

Thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was perceiving reality from within a bubble of self interest, wherein I was looking at ‘how can I benefit myself’, in disregard for what effect it might have on the world as a whole.

I commit myself to considering myself as one and equal with/as all that is here within existence, as all that is here is manifested from the very same substance as me, and thus everything here is myself, and is equal value to myself as life, and thus I commit myself to consider all life as me, within the realization that there is no ‘how can I benefit myself’ that matters unless it is ‘how can I benefit myself as all life as one and equal’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply trust when I heard/read somewhere that ‘organics is good for me’, instead of realizing that this message was coming from businesses within a consumerism and profit based system, where thus the motive is always profit first and foremost regardless of the harm caused to life, and thus I must take this starting point into consideration when evaluating the view point presented, as ‘organics are best’.

I commit myself to always consider the starting point of the information being presented so that i can see what it stands for and what the result/outcome of it will be if lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have virtually no clue how the food I eat, organic or otherwise, is actually produced, where it comes from and what all takes place within the process that the food is produced as a resource from the earth and then shaped and molded and transported to my local grocery store, if I live in an elite society as in places of poverty there is not even such a system in place.

I commit myself to educate myself to get an understanding of how what I consume is actually created, so that I can best see what kind of solutions are possible and what kind of actions is necessary to be taken to prevent and stop abuse in this world, and to ensure that the decisions I make won't lead to more unnecessary abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that organic cannot even actually exist in a world where most agriculture is non organic and since crops are open to the environment, non organic crops will actually mix with organic crops, and the legal status of ‘organic’ actually allows for an accepted percentage of non-organic content, as it literally cannot be avoided, thus what I hadn’t realized is that the earth as the environment as an open system means that what we allow to happen here affects all of here, as nothing is separate, it’s all here in this one physical reality.

I commit myself to realize that as this world and environment is an open system, that everything we do affects everyone, like if you fart in a bubble, there is no escape from it and it will affect everyone in that bubble, it’s just that the earth is a reaaally big bubble, and so if you’re far enough away from the fart, you can think that nothing is happening, until the farts become so extensive that it finally reach you, and then you realize, something stinks! Yet, imagine if you were the ones in the ground zero of the farting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support ending the use of chemicals by saying we should ‘just stop using them’ and should legally not allow them, when I had not considered that it would not be possible at the moment to provide all the world’s population with organic foods, as the current methods of agriculture is what we’ve become within our accepted understanding and ways of practicing agriculture and that to actually switch to not using any chemicals would be literally impossible and still manage to feed the population, and thus to simply disallow the use of chemicals would lead to extensive suffering, as I am looking for instant gratification, and not considering the current state of all humanity and whether we as a whole are actually set up to make such a change on a global scale, as for any change to have a real lasting impact, it must be able to be implemented by all.

I commit myself to realizing that in order for real lasting change to take place, I must understand and consider the current state of my entire body of/as humanity, in order to see what is actually required to create worldwide change, and to ensure that what I am promoting as ‘good for you/me/humans’ would not actually lead to the abuse of many humans, or any life at all.

Day 51: The ‘Good Cook who cooks the Perfect Meals’ Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to make perfect meals within the belief that this would validate me as a person and prove that I am ‘good at something’ and that then I must have some ‘worth’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the idea that making ‘perfect meals’ would validate me as a human being, came from stories, cartoons, books, tv, the examples of adults around me, where within stories the woman was often portrayed as being liked/respected if they were a good cook, and that it was a woman’s duty to cook the meals, and that she would be treated nicely as a reward for performing well her duty of preparing meals for herself, and her family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I formed this character based on memories of experiences of my mother cooking, and her relationship to cooking, wherein she wanted to be seen as a good cook, and judged herself for her cooking, and she took it on as her responsibility as the wife/female according to the cultural/societal programming that it is the wife’s/females duty to cook the meals for the family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this character is simply a conglomeration of ideas ,images, information, memories, feelings/emotions, beliefs, and judgments, wherein I am trying/attempting to live according to/as those ideas, images, information, memories, feelings/emotions, beliefs, and judgments, in separation of/from myself and from reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in living this character I separated myself from myself and from reality, within trying to live as an idea, which is not based on/relevant to reality, as even what I considered/judged as ‘good meals’ was also based on ideas, memories, pictures, largely influenced by what my mother/relatives/other adults in my life cooked and what I read/saw in books, movies, tv like for example an example such as Martha Stewart who represented/portrayed the character of the ‘good/perfect cook’ on her tv show, and other forms of media, and what I learned about in school, and thus not in actual consideration/understanding of proper dietary nutrition that supports the human physical body- but was only based on ideas in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the very ideas/images of foods and what a ‘good meal’ is, is largely based in consumerism, as there is extensive brainwashing/advertising done to promote certain foods by the food industries in order to ensure they have consumers for their products and so can make a profit, and thus the starting point is profit and not what is most supportive to life. Watch Century of the Self to understand how this was done to program desires into the human that go against what the human actually needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the dietary habits we participate in become programmed into the physical and thus literally we become programmed according to what we eat, as our body must utilize what we put in and maintain it’s a state of balance and effectiveness, regardless whether what we put in it is what it requires/what supports it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the dietary habits we participate in from a young age while our body is still in a formative stage, the body becomes programmed according to what is put in and thus we are programming our body to become dependent on things which are not supportive to it and thus manifesting consequence that can last throughout one’s life, for example in cases where one’s lifestyle and diet leads to the condition of diabetes. For perspectives on diabetes here are some posts from Paul’s Journey to Life:

Day 74 - Carbohydrates

Day 75 - Making and Staying on Routine In regards to Diabetes

Day 76 - Fear of Being High (It's not what you think)

Day 77 - Going Low

Day 78 - Going Low pt 2 Attention Being Brought to Going Low

Day 79 - Going Low pt 3 - Candy and Fake Lows

Day 80 - Going Low pt 4 - Irritability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being able to ‘cook perfect meals’ will make me more attractive as a candidate for marriage, and thus I was not approaching cooking and food/diet from the starting point of what is most supportive to the human physical body, but from the starting point of self interest and manipulation, wherein I sought to use cooking as a way to fulfill my mind’s desires for relationship. And thus, within this I abused my physical by not taking it into consideration, and instead imposing the mind’s desires on my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that it is my body that requires to eat, and thus the starting point in eating should be as fuel for the body, and not feeding desires of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel validated and experience myself positively when I have received compliments on meals I’ve made, within this playing a superiority/inferiority game within myself where I feel superior because I am ‘a good cook’, which is really because I have judged ‘not being able to cook’ as inferior, and thus within this I turned cooking into a polarity/energy competition, wherein I wanted to ‘win’ and not ‘fail’, instead of simply being here as me, as cooking, and exploring cooking/eating/diet, in context of myself as a physical being that requires to eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that by making cooking a competition within myself as the battle/war/competition I was playing out in my mind, that my body as the literal battlefield, and the soldiers on the battlefield, that was the ones actually experiencing and going through the war I was putting it through.

I commit myself to stop the competition in my mind wherein I want to ‘win’ as feeling validated and successful by living as the character of the ‘good cook’ and where I feel like a ‘loser’ when I fail to live as the character of the ‘good cook’.

I commit myself to stop participation in the character of the ‘good cook’, to live cooking/food preparation from a practical perspective, not according to pictures and ideas of what a good meal is, that is based on consumerism, and not what the human body actually requires.

I commit myself to actually consider diet/food in terms of what is actually supportive to the physical body as the fuel that it requires to function properly.

I commit myself to realizing that living as a character in no can actually ‘validate’ who I am, as it is only a character and not myself in fact, thus it is myself that must live a valid life, wherein I ensure that who I am and what I live as is actually valid in this existence, which would be to live in consideration of life and what is best for life in and as this physical existence.