Most of my life I did not have any fat. I
believed it wasn’t possible for me to get fat, that I had a ‘high metabolism’
that no matter how much I ate, and sometimes I ate a lot, I would never get
fat. Then, in my late twenties, I started to put on some fat, and this was
quite a surprise, because I’d never really had any fat before, I’d always been
really lean, and was even so skinny when I was younger that I was sometimes
suspected of being anorexic, but I wasn’t.
So for most of my life, I didn’t have to face
what some do, which is the experience of having fat in the current state of elite
societies, which judges ‘fat’ extensively. There are some societies which have
the opposite judgment, where ‘fat’ is preferred for females, as a status symbol
of a male’s successful ability to provide for his woman.
‘Being fat’ is portrayed as
negative/bad/unappealing in most forms of media, and ‘being thin’ as positive,
and this is a reflection of the judgment we allow to exist within ourselves, as
it’s we as individuals that live as this judgment, within accepting and
allowing ourselves to exist as the belief and perception that ‘skinny’ is
‘good’ and ‘fat’ is ‘bad.
What we forget is that when we first came
into this world, we did not have negative or positive attachments to body
sizes. We actually learn to judge ourselves through the examples all around us
in our lives as our parents, friends, adults, tv, movies, books, magazines, etc.
We accept and validate this system of judgment because we look and see that
others will in fact judge you negatively for being fat, and judge you
positively for being thin, and thus we believe the judgment to be real, not
considering that it’s as real as we make, that we are literally the creators of
it as we live it within our actions and our words to/toward one another. But if
we all stopped participating in it, it would simply not exist, and thus you can
see that it’s just a fabrication that exists within the mind. So why would we
participate in something that’s not even real and through which we abuse
ourselves and each other and the entire world.
I would imagine if I was fat/put myself in
those shoes and consider how I’d feel/experience myself and then I ‘felt bad’
for those who are ‘fat’ because I’d be picturing in my mind how they must be
ridiculed/treated by others, and within this, formed a relationship to being
fat as fearing to become fat for how others would treat me or not treat me, not
realizing that this was actually my own self judgment, wherein I was accepting
and validating this system of judgment by accepting it within myself as valid
and real.
I forgive myself that I have not realized that
within believing/fearing that ‘others’ will judge, that I was actually
validating that entire system of judgment within myself, as I was not standing
as the example that systems of judgment are not real, it is just a value system
made up within the mind, with no purpose but to separate ourselves from another
aspect of ourselves.
I commit myself to realize that all
judgment is self judgment, as we as individuals must actually
participate/believe in/validate the judgment within ourselves and live it out
and act as it, for it to actually ‘exist’, and thus all judgment starts with
self, and therefore must end with self, as self is the creator, self must stop
creating and being the source of judgment.
Then I developed a relationship in
separation to those who are ‘fat’ where I feared that they would judge/hate/be
spiteful toward me out of jealousy for me not being fat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to develop a relationship toward those who are ‘fat’ in fearing
that they’ll judge me, not realizing that this is my own acceptance and
allowance of judgment.
I commit myself to stopping the fear of
‘others will judge me’ within the realization that I must stand as the example
myself the judgment is not real by living free of judgment myself.
So when I put some fat on, I then got to
experience the other side of the polarity, to see how I experienced myself, how
my relationship to myself changed, where I would feel depressed in looking at
my body, where I used to feel ‘positive’ about it – which shows the nature of
polarity and the consequence of participating in and as it, where to
participate in the positive, you’re also manifesting the negative, and when you
find yourself on the negative side of the polarity, you realize just what
you’ve created by participating in the positive. The kind of thoughts I had
changed from positive about myself to negative, my perception and interaction
with others changed where I would constantly fear they were looking at me or
think they were having thoughts about me and my weight, and I experienced
resistance to go in public and be seen by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not consider what I’m manifesting as the negative side of a
polarity when I participate in the positive side of the polarity, until I
actually found myself on the negative side.
I commit myself to stop all participation
in polarity within the realization that to participate in one side creates the
other, and thus even if I am only experiencing the positive side, someone else
is experiencing the negative side that I am creating, and that I would not want
to experience myself on the negative side of what I’m creating.
Nowhere in any of this is there actual consideration
of the physical. Or what size is appropriate/effective for a particular
individual considering all physical influencing factors.
What we support by living as this system of
judgment is all the abuse that occurs to the physical as the abuse that is done
within all the attempts by individuals to fit into the ‘right picture’ to be on
the ‘winning side’ of the polarity where one will be Rewarded within how others
treat them and behave toward them. This is how we manipulate each other to fit
the picture we have in our minds, while not even considering that suffering
this cause, and that its only purpose is to serve consumerism. Extensive
profits are made from those that seek ways to lose weight. And without and
actual effective understanding of how the physical human body operates and what
is effective nutrition, and what is an effective state for one’s particular
body, much self-abuse and harm to one’s physical is done.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to instead of exploring the difference in individual’s body
sizes/compositions to understand it as understanding a part of ourselves as
this reality and how it exists/functions, turn it into a competition/battle/war
within ourselves and without.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to participate and exist as the system of judgment toward one’s
human physical body based on pictures to which we’ve assigned values to in
separation of/from our physical within our mind, values which are not real or
relevant in any way to actual physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not realize that by participating in and existing as the
system of judgment based on ‘fat’ vs ‘skinny’ that I am
accepting/allowing/supporting the abuse that happens to not only individuals
but to the world as a whole as nature and the animals, which provide the
resources as substance which is utilized within/by consumerism to feed the
desire of those who seek to look like the ‘good picture’ to be on the positive
side of the polarity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to not consider that what one’s body looks like, has nothing to
do with its physical functioning, as it’s just a picture I see with my human
physical eyes, which I’ve assigned a value to within my mind, and thus I
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not real.
I commit myself to approach what is here as
physical forms in this reality in exploring what is here to get an
understanding of physical reality, without judgment or turning it into a
polarity battle of competition and comparison based on made-up values in the
mind.
I commit myself to no longer participate in
and exist as a system of judgment toward the human physical body based on
pictures, which are not real or relevant to actual physical reality.
I commit myself to stop participating in
and existing as the system of judgment based on ‘fat’ vs ‘skinny’ because I
realize that to do so I am accepting/allowing/supporting the abuse that happens
as what individuals do to themselves due to their participation in living as
the system of judgment of ‘fat’ is ‘bad’ and ‘skinny’ is ‘good’, and the abuse
that is done to the earth, animals, nature, as the resources consumed by those
individuals seeking to be on the ‘good side’ of the polarity.
I commit myself to realizing that what
my/one’s body looks like has nothing to do with its physical functioning and is
just a picture that I’ve assigned values to in my mind, values that don’t
benefit life but harm life, thus I commit myself to living as a being that
values life as life itself not judging/evaluating what is here as the physical
manifestations/forms in this existence according to pictures in my mind that aren’t
actually real but are just images, as Life is Not an Image.
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