Day 59: The ‘Shit-Talker’ Character

A pattern I noticed in myself today came when someone said to me that I was a ‘shit talker’, and so in this moment I took this point back to myself and looked at what I was doing, who I was within the words I was speaking, and I was actually surprised by what I had been saying, and surprised that I hadn’t noticed what I was actually participating in within what I was saying. 

I had been joking with another about people that choose careers where they work with certain body parts, such as gynecology or focusing on the colon. It’s like I forgot for a moment that there is nothing strange or weird or gross or wrong with working with those particular areas of the body, but that was exactly what I was implying with the words I was speaking within joking about it, because if I don’t see anything weird about, then what was there to joke about? 

It had seemed innocent enough when I was in the middle of doing it, like I was just having a laugh and didn’t actually mean it, but that is justifications, while not considering what example I was actually living, and the impact that I have and the words I say have on the reality and others around me, which is what this being showed me when they called me a ‘shit-talker’. 

Because to them they were hearing the words I was saying and seeing what I was implying within them, that there was something weird or strange within taking a job that works with the vagina or the colon, when there is actually nothing strange about that, it is simply the judgments that we’ve placed on such parts as a society, but here I am showing you that it is actually us as individuals that live such judgments into existence, thus, it is not a ‘society’ thing from that perspective, because ‘society’ is made up of each and every individual, and this is why I am investigating and getting to know myself and my effect on reality within the example that I am living within my words and actions, so that I can make sure that I see clearly what I am creating in this world, so that I can see where and how I have been supporting and playing my part in manifesting the abuse that exists in this world, and then stop existing as that pattern, to stop creating separation and abuse. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and be the character of a ‘shit talker’.

I commit myself to becoming aware of exactly how/when/where I participate in this behavior/pattern of being a ‘shit talker’ so that I can stop this pattern of behavior completely, to not be manifesting abuse and separation through the words I speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even realize what I was participating in until it was pointed out to me, which indicates that I was not here as breath, so that I can see what I am participating in in each and every moment, but allowed myself to go into a mind pattern.

I commit myself to being here as breath, and slowing myself down as breath, so that I can see in each and every moment exactly what I am participating in, so that I do not ‘miss myself’ in not being aware of myself for a moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in joking around and thinking it is ‘harmless’ which is implying that the words I say do not have an effect on reality, and that I can apparently say what I want without having an effect, yet it does not work that way, as every word that I say is here, and every judgment that I am living within my words is here, and thus every single word I speak has a direct effect on this reality.

I commit myself to realizing and considering that every single word I say and what I am living within those words, has a direct effect on this reality, and thus it is my responsibility to ensure that the words I speak do not support abuse in any way, so that I do not manifest abuse in this world.

I realize that who I am within what I say serves as an example to all, and thus the words I speak have a direct effect on reality. Specifically within this situation the consequence of my words is that I was living the judgment of certain body parts of the human physical body as if there is some reason that one might not want to work with such parts of the body, as if there is something ‘wrong’ with them, and thus I was living this example into reality, where others that see/hear my example might then take on and live this judgment themselves, and as I am living a polarity within my words, I will thus manifest reactions where some will judge such body parts and those who have careers focusing on those body parts as negative/wrong/gross/strange, and others that will judge it as positive/special/exciting/more than it is. This results in us not being here simply with the physical as it is, but judging it and separating from it, which affects our entire approach toward the physical and how we interact with it. 

Thus I commit myself to take self responsibility to ensure that the example I am living is one that supports others and shows others how to live in respect of the physical, as when we do not separate ourself from the physical, but respect it as who we are, then we’ll manifest a world where the physical and ourselves as the physical are not abused, for the sake of entertainment or for any reason/justification.