Day 189: Why Me THOUGHT Dimension – Every Little Thing ADDS UP

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What I find when I look at the Thought Dimension, the Thought as picture/image/scenario that comes up in my mind, is something along the lines of, for example, images of the events that happened throughout the day or whatever span of time, which are events that I have ‘collected’ in a way, as I went along through my life, through my day, where each event was something that I made something ‘more’ out of. Where it is ‘each little thing’ that I have taken and attached negative feelings to, as ‘something bad that has happened to me’ that adds to my definition of being a victim.

Another dimension to this, is a point of comparison, where I will for example, take all those negative points, and then compare them to how I perceive another’s day/life/time to be going, where I see it as, they haven’t had as many bad things happen to them as I have, and through this can also activate and feed and substantiate this character of Why Me victimhood.

So what it comes down to, is actually always a comparison – it’s either comparing my situation to what I perceive another’s situation to be, or comparing my situation to an idea in my mind of what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ or what is ‘unfair’. I mean, this is how the mind operates through comparison, to generate conflict, to generate energy, to fuel its existence.

Why am I investigating this? Because I’m really not interested in being a slave to my thoughts, being a slave to what is nothing more than an Image in my Mind, an illusion, a fantasy, made up for what? To create an experience within which I keep myself in this state of always being a victim. I mean, WHY would I want to Waste even One Single Breath in such an experience, instead of simply being here, living and breathing and experiencing actual reality, as a present and aware participant that has possession of all my faculties, not the other way around, with my Mind possessing Me.

And therefore I apply the Solution here of writing out this pattern, to see how it operate. Getting into the nitty-gritty of it, like what is the actual thought that come up, so that I have named it, and now it can’t ‘fool me’ again when it come up, I know what the heck is going on, and am not going to participate, as I know what it is, and what it leads to. It’s just a thought which is really just as substantial as a fart, no, not even, and what happens if I follow it is I waste more breaths of my limited amount of breaths that I have in this life, within an experience that isn’t even real, it’s created out of the resources of my human physical body, which didn’t even ask to be used in such a way, and which I didn’t ask permission, I just imposed this on my physical human body at its expense, and without consideration of the consequences.

So here I’ll now walk some Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment statements in relation to the Thought Dimension of this Why Me character/personality:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the Thoughts that come up in my mind, such that I never questioned what they were, where they came from, or what is the consequence of my participation in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I actually deliberately utilize and follow my thoughts in order to generate an experience within myself, particularly here the experience of being a ‘victim’, and to within this not consider how I am actually a victim of myself of my own decision to participate in my thoughts and victimize myself within such an experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in/validate/give value to the thoughts that come up in my mind, such as the thought of ‘all the bad things’ that have ‘piled up’ in my day/life, as being ‘negative’ or ‘too much’ or ‘more than another has to go through’ or ‘unfair’, and within this to not see that it is just to create a certain perception of my life, so that from that perception I can be entirely controlled and possessed within a definition of myself and my life, purely to generate conflict within myself to feed the mind, and to always be pre-occupied with a mind experience instead of being here, facing reality, taking responsibility, and really living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question how it is that a single thought as an image in my mind could activate an entire character/personality system which then determines how I then experience myself, what I think, what I feel, how I act, which we will get further into the nitty-gritty details of in posts to come in dissecting the Why Me character.
I commit myself to investigate every aspect/dimension of this character, so to ‘take myself back’ from where I have given my ‘power’ away to thoughts.

I commit myself to when and as I see the Thought arise of where I see a picture/image of various things/events that’s happened to me in the past, with negative feeling attached, I stop and breathe and do not allow myself to follow this thought, as I know exactly where it leads = No Where. Which is the same as Not Here.

I commit myself to doing a complete reversal of instead of where I would utilize such thoughts as a tool for self sabotage and limitation, to now utilize such thoughts when/if they come up as a tool to ‘set me free’, as these thoughts are actually showing me what I have allowed myself to exist as, where I have attached negative feelings to events that have happened to me, that they now come up in such a thought as little negative experiences that I have accumulated little by little until it becomes this total ‘reason’ as to why I’m such a ‘victim’ and ‘poor me’, ‘why me’, ‘it isn’t fair’ take-over experience.

Thus, I commit myself to when such thought comes up, look at the specific points that come up within the thought to see what I have attached a negative judgment toward, and to see how I have accumulated these memories throughout my day/my life/over some period of time, so that I can get to see how I am doing that in the moment, to assist and support myself to stop accumulating such points, until it adds up to a total justification of WHY ME, where I utilize all the accumulated points to justify going into the victim character, and sabotage my life in reality.

I commit myself to realizing that there is never any reason to follow a thought as it is just a wild goose-chase to keep me pre-occupied from actual life and living in actual reality.

In the next post in the Why Me series, we’ll take a look at the Imagination Dimension.
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Day 188: Rewards of No More War Casualties

So we’re now continuing from the last blog post on the topic of War, Day 186: WAR: What is it Good For: Killing People, and WORSE, in which we left of where we we’re going to start looking at the Rewards to no longer having Human Casualties as a result of War. And going beyond just the simple, obvious Reward of no longer having people being hurt or injured or killed, because that’s not really actually getting into it, and really looking at in specific detail what all the problems are that are a result of Human Casualties in War, and thus exactly what do we stand to benefit when this is no longer happening, when we are no longer having Human Casualties from War.

So, basically, what happens when people become casualties of war? I mean, these people belong to families and they have friends and relatives, so when they become injured or die as a result of War, this tears up entire families. Here you have that familiar picture one can imagine if you will, of in the United States for example, and where one has seen this in movies or news stories for example, when there’s a member of the family who is a soldier in the military and has gone off to war, and perhaps it’s the husband, or the wife, or a son or a daughter, a mother or a father, and then comes that fateful call, that their loved-one is ‘not going to be coming home’ from the war.

Or their loved one does come home, but it’s a bittersweet reunion, because they’re coming home with some sort of injury that they didn’t have before, and life is never going to be the same again, for that whole family. Now they all have to learn how to deal with the injuries received as a result of being injured in War. So this tears up families, and in some cases you have both parents in the military and both go off to war and die, and then their children are now left orphaned.


And that's only looking at those who are in the military, and there is also all the many many civilians as well that are injured and suffer all kinds of atrocities as well, and that is even more torn up families and lives.

And this affect families generations down the line, it affects our very relationships toward each other as countries and as people, where the image of one’s injured or dying loved one becomes etched in the mind and connected to a hatred of the opposition. So, literally once we stop killing and injuring each other, we’ll stop hating each other for doing so, and stop passing on Legacies of hatred between cultures and countries that further Fuel the Fires for future Wars, and that create a lot of unnecessary conflict.


Just imagine all the work and effort that will be prevented of having to try to care for the unnecessary injuries. All the work to deal with dead bodies and trying to keep conditions sanitary and free of disease – none of that would even be taking place. You wouldn’t have to live in places where that happen, or read about it or see pictures about it, because it won’t anymore exist. We will have more human beings that are effectively functioning and not being pointlessly handicapped in their ability to function. This would also mean a lot more people will be more functional and thus still be effectively functioning members of society, so instead of literally in essence shooting ourselves in the foot by shooting each other up, we'll no longer be putting people in positions of having to be dependent on others for their very survival and living.


Imagine all the individual experiences that those who are a casualty of war go through, whether killed or injured, these experiences will no longer exist. And then we will actually respect ourselves, because we will be beings that would not allow such atrocities to take place. And have the security and peace of mind to know that, such an experience could never happen to me, because I made sure that such experience does not exist anywhere. And we won’t evermore have to think or fear that such things could happen to us or our loved ones.


In the next blog post in the series on War, we’ll walk some Self Forgiveness statements in regard to how we’ve accepted such atrocities to become such a part of every day reality, and allow it to continue despite everything we stand to gain by stopping and ending it once and for all.


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Day 187: Why Me? Do you Recognize this Character?


Featured Artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

This post is part of the 'Why Me' Character series. Previous posts:
Day 183: Everything that Happens to Me is Another Excuse to Feel Bad
Day 185: WHY ME - Drunk on the Whine of Imagination


So now we are going to continue with looking at the Victim Character, in which I victimize myself, utilizing the events/situations that occur throughout the day, to build a character of self-defeat, where I make something out of nothing, and add further consequence to my living. What’s ironic about this pattern, and with all mind patterns actually, is that the mind reverse everything, so that instead of doing what would be most effective, most beneficial for oneself, in a moment, we’ll do the complete opposite, and we’ll actually think it’s a good idea to do so, and that it makes sense. Which is what I found in investigating my own mind, and really having a look in self honesty, at just what is going on, like – what is the motive behind my thoughts, what actions are they driving me toward? And what I’ve found is just, really quite bizarre, as we tend to go into the acceptance of limitation, instead of toward that which will lead us to actually expand ourselves to be effective human beings and live to our true potential.

At first I felt overwhelmed as this point opened up – as I was actually becoming more and more aware of just the extent to which I had come to exist as this primary pattern of self-defeat and self-sabotage, where it has become so permeated into my very being-ness, that it’s like I think, eat, and sleep it practically.

Yet, thanks to the assistance I’ve had from walking with Desteni, I am able to realize that this overwhelmedness is now only because I am finally becoming aware of the point, and I have been living as this point for nearly my entire life, so it is really nothing new. And this is what is so awesome about becoming aware of and seeing the patterns one exist as – because now there is the possibility to change those patterns, and stop those patterns.

So, I’ve noticed a few dimensions to this character, where I basically go into creating conflict with reality, I mean that is essentially what this pattern is – creating conflict.

I notice that this character comes up when for example things don’t go according to how I’ve planned, or like when something unexpectedly comes up, and now I am not able to continue with things as planned.

Another situation in which this character arise, is through comparison of myself to another, for example someone in my life like a coworker or my partner, wherein I’ll see them doing or experiencing something that I think is ‘cool’ or ‘fun’ , and then compare that to what I am doing in the moment which I’ve defined as not ‘cool’ or ‘fun’, and then go into a ‘why me’ experience based on that comparison in that moment.

And then, another way I notice this character come up, is when events will happen to me that I’ve defined as ‘negative’ within a relationship of ‘what one is supposed to have a negative reaction toward’, which I will then ‘accrue’, or ‘add up’ over the course of a day or even weeks or months or really there is not set ‘time limit’, where each ‘bad thing’ that ‘happens to me’ is like ‘one more nail in the coffin’ where I use each following point to go further and further into this character.

So, in the next post of the WHY ME Character series, in which I will be continuing with the practical application of writing out this character, to get to see and understand it in all its dimensions, I will take a look at the Thought Dimension of this character, as what is the typical initial Thought/Thoughts that come up that activate this character.
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