This post is a continuation from the previous posts:
Now we’re going to continue from the previous posts, in now walking Self Forgiveness on the relationship we’ve existed as that we’ve discovered through having a look at our relationship with/toward board games, in this bringing responsibility back to self at the individual level, as that is where all responsibility lies, and then we’ll walk Self Commitment Statements, to correct our relationship with board games to an equal and one standing to assist and support with no longer giving one’s ‘power’, as one’s self will and self direction, away to board games.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was not born already playing board games or already liking board games, but that I had to be taught about them, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that 'board games are fun' or are 'normal' and thus to not question/investigate them, as to what they show about our accepted nature as humanity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when where it comes up in a moment to play a board game, and I notice a character activating within myself according to the memories of past experiences with playing board games, to not question this, but to accept it as normal, within this not questioning how it is that I can go from one moment being here stable, to then suddenly my entire inner experience changing and being ‘taken over’ by the character which is activating, where I can see myself getting into a certain ‘mood’ and ‘stance’ within myself as to how I’m going to act/move/speak within playing the board game.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such moment not consider how when the character activate and take over, that I am no longer here simply as myself, playing the board game and interacting with those around me, or even aware at all of my physical environment/surroundings, as I’ve literally become the embodiment of this board game character which takes up all my focus and attention, which is now focused on playing the game and maintaining a certain presentation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use board games as a distraction and form of ‘coping mechanism’ at family gatherings/occasions/holidays, as a distraction from my inner experience as how I was experiencing myself in the situation of being around other family members/the environment/situation, instead of investigating and questioning my inner reaction, but rather suppressing it, so I can continue ‘having a good time’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play long with the principles of the game as If I totally accept the principles the game is based upon, when really I am going along with it out of fear, of how others might react if I were to question it, that there might be conflict, that I’d be ‘spoiling the fun’.
To not want to ‘spoil the fun’ within this not realizing that if the fun can be ‘spoiled’ then it isn’t real fun anyway, as it’s not then simply enjoying myself as life here, but is a ‘fun’ that is dependent on certain conditions being just so, by maintaining a ‘presentation’ of ‘this is fun’ ‘I have no problem with this’. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anything that apparently ‘can’t be questioned’ is immediately suspect, and this includes for example God’s Will, or LOVE, where these are not to be questioned but simply believed/participated in, for if they were to be questioned, they would not stand up to common sense, and be exposed as the source of extensive abuse and suffering, and those are the things we resist to question/investigate, because we know that then we will have to change as what we are participating in does not stand as common sense what is best for all, and thus obviously ought to be stopped as it cause harm and that is unacceptable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how who I am within my relationship toward board games is the same as our relationship as humanity to the ‘game’ of life, where the very same principles that I have accepted within board games are the same principles I have accepted to exist within the world at large.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in the behavior of utilizing board games as a distraction from my experience, that I am in essence participating in the same behavior that we as humanity participate in as a whole, where we seek to avoid looking at/facing/investigating what is really going on within ourselves, utilizing various forms of distraction, and thus, within this, I am responsible for the existence of this point, which is manifested on the larger world scale as the various entertainment industries, and that the very size and amount of such industries really shows the extent to which we as humanity have avoided facing ourselves and reality, and spending much of our ‘spare time’ within entertainment as fantasy creations, rather than getting down to actual living in reality, settling for fantasies instead of if we face this reality and sort it out, creating a world that is fun to live in and where we can really move and express ourselves, within actual physical reality, instead of only living in a world of imagination, which is imaginary and not real in substance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the same principles that form the design of the typical board game, as where there is a winner and the rest losers, where only one ‘benefits’ while the rest are left out, even though all participated in the game, is the same design as the current money system, and that since the money system is the system which provides us with the support to live, this means that those that are in the losing position are actually losing life, as they are being deprived of the very necessities to live, and thus such a system is unacceptable as it lead to such suffering and abuse, and thus should be corrected, through correcting Capitalism to stand on the principles which it was intended to but has not been held to, which is to effectively support everyone equally.
I commit myself to use board games as self assistance to become aware of myself as the relationships I exist as within myself, by when about to or during playing a board game, to notice and investigate what comes up within me, as the thoughts feelings, emotions, back/internal conversations that come up, and where if I am not in an environment that is suitable for investigating myself right in that moment, then I flag point and take note of the points that come up for myself to investigate when I have an appropriate moment later on, where I can really look at the points that came up and take the time to write it out and apply the corrective application of self forgiveness and self corrective statements.
I commit myself to when and as I see memories come up when the subject of board games is brought up, to flag point them for investigation, as these memories show me the clues as to how/where/when/why I created this character, according to previous experiences where I went into reactions/feelings/emotions and integrated them as a behavioral pattern that I then live out as a preprogrammed automated system.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself about to/going into a ‘board game character’, to stop, breathe and ground myself here in physical reality, and to assist and support myself to not go into this character, and remain here stable as myself, as I realize that by going into this character, I am not actually here living, but for the moment become the embodiment of the board game character, where I then am essentially possessed by this character where all my behavior, mannerisms, tonalities, movements, the words I speak, are all from within/as this character, and not as myself simply here with nothing moving inside me, able to express myself in the moment.
I commit myself to doing what it takes to correcting the system of Capitalism to function according to the principles that it is supposed to, within supporting humanity effectively, so that we can sort out this reality finally and ensure that all life is cared for, so that we can actually have some real fun here in reality, and not be tempted to seek out forms of entertainment as distractions from our responsibilities here, while so many suffer as a result of neglecting our responsibility, and thus I commit myself to holding Capitalism to its own principles and its claims that it is an effective system, so that it actually will be an effective system, and not simply accept it the way it is, out of fearing conflict/change, as the price of avoiding our responsibility is paid in human lives a price that no one would volunteer to pay.