Day 157: I Don’t Want to Do This: FEAR Dimension (Part 2)

Equal Money to End Abuse



This post is a continuation to:


In the last post I wrote about the FEAR Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality as to how and why I created this character initially, and now in this post, I’ll walk the Self Forgiveness statements in relation to those points.

Fear Dimension Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child form this character/personality in protection of my self interest, where I thought that by participating in this character I’d be able to somehow manipulate my situation so that I can be experiencing what I ‘want’ to experience, within this not seeing, realizing and understanding that all I was changing was my internal experience of myself, and thus this character/personality was not actually ‘protecting’ my experience, as through this personality/character, I was actually creating my experience, by participating in the mind as thought, imagination, backchat, reactions, and energy-experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the idea/belief about what I ‘want to do’ vs. what I ‘don’t want to do’ was based on only what I was used to experiencing, which in my childhood, was mostly freedom from responsibility/obligations/work, and where such things were presented to me with a ‘negative’ charge to them, and to copy the examples within my reality within copying this same relationship toward work/responsibility/obligation, as seeing it as negative, in comparison to what I was used to doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that this relationship of ‘what I want to do’ vs. ‘what I don’t want to do’, was actually not supportive to me in any way, but was actually a pattern which supports me to remain limited, as if I stick to what it is ‘I want to do’ as being free from responsibility/obligation, then I create consequences in my own personal life and the world at large, as I did not realize the nature of the reality we live in, where we’re in a physical reality where there is cause and effect, and that this implies that I have responsibilities to ensure that my words and actions are that which cause the best effect in this reality, as what/how I create this reality will be the direct result of what I accept and allow, and thus, within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how by putting ‘what I want to do’ before taking care of my responsibilities, would have a detrimental effect on my world/reality.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make the connection between me living as this character within which I put ‘what I want’ before what’s required to be done, to how humanity is living this pattern on the larger scale, and that what I accept myself to live as, I accept all others to live as, and thus I am responsible for humanity putting ‘wants’ before responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what was presented to me in my childhood, as the examples I saw in which working/responsibility/obligation was presented as a negative thing, and to within this, emulate the behaviors/experiences/feelings I saw presented toward working/responsibility/obligation, and within this not questioning why/how it is that we are actually having an experience toward responsibility/obligation, that is not the experience of doing the responsibility/obligation itself, but is a ‘superimposed’ experience that I’ve attached to working/responsibility that is actually only taking place within me, that I in fact created, accepted and allowed within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that forming a character in which I manipulate my inner experience will somehow have a beneficial effect on my outer experience, within this not realizing that the thoughts/feelings/emotions/reactions/ energy were only taking place within my myself within my mind, and thus have no effect/bearing on physical reality.

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, understand that by participating in/living as this character/personality, that I actually had a ‘negative’ effect on my life, as instead of being effective within my life and applying myself within what is here and what needs to be done as my responsibilities within getting a job and working to support myself, and getting myself into a position to have an effect in this world/reality, I accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by energies from the mind to avoid my responsibilities and the opportunities I had in my life, by always choosing to go for the ‘positive’ as ‘what I want’, within that not realizing the consequence that I was creating for myself and the world, as within accepting myself to remain limited, I accepted this world the way it is, choosing my own ‘personal experience’ over what is here that needs to be done, within the realization that I do not exist alone in this world, and that there is extensive suffering taking place in this world as a direct result of our collective acceptance and allowance, and thus I have a responsibility to stand up and do what I can while I am here in this life, to take action to stop these problems we’re creating and create a world that is Best for all Life.

We’ll go up to here for now, and continue with self Forgiveness statements on the FEAR Dimension within the next post to come.
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