Day 224: What's the First Step to Caring For Real?

In this post I'm continuing with looking at what it means to live Caring, and how I've actually changed in my living in my words and actions and particularly in my interactions with others, within the process of considering what it really means to care, as actual living action, and not just a sentiment or idea, that produces no actual results or effect in reality.

So firstly, this means becoming aware of and taking responsibility for how/when/where I am spiteful or nasty to others whether out loud or even just in my mind, because all that carries through, nothing is really hidden. I mean, if I'd like to see others not be nasty or spiteful, then I need to become the solution to that problem, get to know why/how are we spiteful and how do we stop that and correct ourselves, so that I can then show others by example how to do so. And this means actually admitting to ourselves that we have in fact been spiteful and nasty to others, because there is the tendency to not what to see that, the truth of ourselves, but it's there, you can't really hide it from yourself.

It's as if we think that if we allow ourself to be self honest about what we are really doing and who we really are in our behavior and actions, that then we'll see ourself as bad or wrong or evil, and yet it's just the opposite in a way where when we are hiding that reality from ourself, that is actually what we could call evil, because then you are going to continue in such behavior all the while pretending you're not. So rather we would want to face the truth of ourselves, so we can really see what it is that we are doing, because then we can change our input as what we are living into this world, and that would change the output, of what we get back from the world. So we would become the cure for the nastiness that exist in the world by starting with ourselves first.

What this means therefore, is getting down to the nitty-gritty, the small moments that seem so insignificant and that we take for granted. The little moments where we allow a nasty though or allow ourselves to act out in nastiness toward another, whether directly or indirectly. One great example of this is in a documentary I recently watched, called Children Full of Life (which you can watch here: in which a teacher, who takes a bit of a unique approach to teaching, notices that there is bullying going on between the students. He encourages them to share about it, and several children share their experiences with being bullied. However, he then does something rather striking – he points out that all the students are sharing about what has been done to them, as if they are all innocent, but none are sharing how they have participated in bullying themselves.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, we tend to focus on others, rather than ourselves, to the extent where it's like we aren't even aware of what we're actually doing. But on some level we do know, because really, how can you not know what you're doing? I mean, you're the one doing it. And as the documentary shows, even as children, we can see what we are doing and what we're responsible for, the unnecessary consequences we create for ourselves and others, and so having a detrimental effect on our relationships with others and our world.

Because the fact is we don't live here alone, we're all here in this one reality together, and so have to find ways to live together effectively, because we are in fact responsible for being here and considering the effect we have on each other and reality. There's the tendency to be only focused on one's own self interest, like you live in a bubble where all that exists is you, and every one else is just basically a prop in the movie paying out that is your life. I mean, that's usually the extent to which we think about or consider other people, always from this very limited perspective where the bottom line is always me and what I want or don't want. We don't consider others equally to ourselves, even though on some level we do know that we are in fact equal, by virtue of being alive and being here. Each and every one of us is an individual being with their own life, own experiences, and own potential to develop and expand and grow.

Something we don't tend to realize/be aware of is how much of the consequence we face in reality and In our relationships is a result of this simple point of separation, where we've formed a relationship toward each other of not caring, where we have justified even being nasty, spiteful, and even just apathetic toward others, and that's what I'll go into more in the next post to come, to see why is it that we would even want to care about others – to see what difference in one's own life would that make? So until then, you can start to simply become aware of these moments in your day to day living where you actually go into/participate in some form of separation/spitefulness toward another, as that is the first step to sorting ourselves out as a whole, which is going to have very positive results, as you'll see more in the next post.

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