Day 94: I Can’t Afford It: Commitment Statements

I commit myself to stop all points where I take an experience personally where I form and participate in an internal experience within myself, as that removes me from reality and from doing anything about reality and traps me in a pointless internal experience, that ensures that I become so hopelessly lost in thoughts/feelings/emotions toward something that I do nothing at all in actual reality, except harm my physical body which suffers the consequence of participation in energy generation utilizing its physical resources, so that I can stick to the facts as what is taking place in actual reality and find solutions that actually will lead to a more effective reality that is best for all, which would be a reality where everyone has access to what they require to live effectively.

I commit myself to realizing that the concept/notion/idea that I have ‘failed as a person’ because I am not able to afford everything I require, is a concept proliferated so that I will go into blame toward myself for my situation, and never consider/realize/look at the system where I would see that it is actually designed to not support everyone, as capitalism requires that many fail in order for a few to make profit, and thus as long as I am participating in a personal experience, I am thus fallen in the trap of a personal experience, instead of accepting what is here, meaning to stop creating conflict within myself toward the situation the currently exists, and to consider what options are actually available to me, and what actions I can take, and then actually taking what actions I can that will lead to real change, so that I have transformed myself from doing that which leads to no change, to doing that which leads to change, and thus taken a pro-active stance within no longer taking it personally, but taking self response-ability and working toward a solution.

I commit myself to exposing/showing exactly what is going on in this world, as I realize that is the only and the best way that we can sort out this world as this mess that we’ve created/are creating, so that we can actually face what we’re allowing, to be able to get an understanding of the problems and how we create them, to then be able to find solutions and implement them, and then end the abuse that we were fearing to expose in the first place.

I commit myself to not waiting for some event/situation to take place in my direct world/reality before I will even consider the abuse that is taking place, but to take a pro-active stance to educate myself and get to know my world and reality and what exactly is going on so that I can ensure that we’re manifesting a reality that is the best possible for all life, which I cannot do if I do not understand how and what I/we as humanity create here.

I commit myself to showing that we do realize the abuse that we’re creating in the world and that it is our responsibility to stop it because we are the ones allowing it and it’s those of us that is supported by the system that must take action, as we’ve allowed the majority to become enslaved to such an extent that they are not even able to take action as they are too busy with merely trying to survive from one moment to the next.

I commit myself to living the example of not taking it personally according to an idea of ‘status’ or ‘self worth’ that is based on how much money one makes/has, as all are equal in worth as life, and none is more or less than another, as we are all equally here. Within this, I commit myself to exposing how within the current system everyone does not start out on a level playing field, nor is the field at any time level, and where if you are born in lack you are almost 100% guaranteed that you will never get much beyond where you already are, and thus where you’re born largely determine what opportunities/chance one has to have a dignified life where one has adequate access to one’s needs, and thus I commit myself to living as a being with real integrity, respect, and honor for life by doing whatever it takes to stop the system which abuse life for profit and establish a system in which all can have a dignified life.

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Day 5 - Relationship Failures: He was Bad for Me, But the Sex was Good!

In one of my failed relationships, I actually stayed in the relationship for the sex, even though the guy was obviously not a good partner for me. He didn't work, he didn't help out around the house, he had broken many promises and told lies, and I tolerated it, why?

Because he was my ticket to sex. I was afraid that if I broke up with him, it could be a really long time before I'd have sex again, since I'd have to find someone and then go through the process of building a relationship with them before we'd get to the point where we'd be having sex. So, I opted to stay in this abusive relationship, because of my desire to have sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by allowing myself to be controlled by a desire for sex, wherein I accepted and allowed myself to be abused out of fear of not being able to have sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that only sex with another person is good enough and that I could not effectively satisfy myself, and due to accepting this belief, I compromised myself within accepting myself to be in an abusive unsupportive relationship, and within separating myself from my sexual expression, within believing that I required another person to truly be satisfied.

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to delude and convince myself to remain in an abusive relationship, when I actually knew all along what I was accepting and allowing for myself, knew exactly how I was compromising myself, but gave in to the fear and desire for sex anyway, within this compromising my self trust by not standing as the common sense that I see as what is best for me and everyone, but denying the common sense that I saw, within this making the choice to participate in self deception, and giving in to a desire that I didn't allow myself to see I was actually creating myself, within my thoughts, feelings, & backchat that I was participating in, where I actually developed and supported the desire for sex that I allowed to control and direct my behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not direct myself within the common sense that I realized that this relationship was not supportive for either partner, within this accepting and allowing both myself and my partner to participate in a relationship that was not supportive for either of us, and within this by accepting and allowing myself to be limited within a relationship of abuse, I also accept and allow such abuse to exist in the world, by living the example of giving in to any reason to accept and allow self abuse and compromise.

I commit myself to no longer accepting and allowing a desire to direct me, which leads to me making decisions that compromise myself and others.

I commit myself to realizing that sexual expression while it is cool with another person, does not require another person, and I am able to explore and enjoy sexual expression with/as myself.

I commit myself to not compromise my self trust, and in moments where I see what is best for me and all to do, that I do it and do not give in to reasons/justifications/excuses/desires to not do it, leading to consequences for myself and others which could have easily been avoided.

I commit myself to not accepting or allowing myself to remain in an abusive and unsupportive relationship for any reason, as that is extreme self abuse, and within that I am limiting and diminishing myself and my world, by accepting and allowing such abuse, and not standing up and taking self responsibility to stop accepting and allowing abuse in my world, within the understanding that what I accept for myself I accept for everyone, and thus I am responsible for the abuse that exists in the world and it's up to me to stand as the example of what I'd like to see in this world, which is an end to all abuse, including the self abuse of accepting and allowing oneself to remain in an abusive relationship.

I commit myself to ensuring that all relationships I form will be done within the interest of what's best for all, which means not accepting and allowing abuse within relationships, and firstly realigning my self relationship so that I can stand in self trust that I will not compromise myself for desires, as I see the unnecessary and painful consequences that leads to, where one wastes years of their life in an unsupportive relationship only living for that one desire, and never actually living or expanding oneself within an agreement with one's partner where each assists and supports themself and each other as a group to grow and expand to one's full potential.