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Day 122: Validation Character: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 2)

This post is a continuation to:

Day 109: Waiting for Approval – I Need You To Like Me: Thought Dimension
Day 110: Waiting for Approval: Thought Dimension: Practical Application
Day 111: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension
Day 112: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension: Self Forgiveness

Day 113: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension: Commitment Statements

Day 114: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension

Day 115: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension: Self Forgiveness

Day 116: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension: Self Commitment Statements

Day 117: Validation Character: Reaction Dimension (Part 1)

Day 118: Validation Character: Reaction Dimension (Part 2)

Day 119: Validation Character: Reaction Dimension (Part 3)

Day 120: Validation Character: Reaction Dimension (Part 4)

Day 121: Validation Character: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 1)

Here in this post I’m continuing from where we left off in the previous post, with writing out Self Forgiveness in relation to the Physical/Behaviour Dimension that is activated within this Character/Personality.

Negative Dimensions Internal Changes Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with my Physical body within and as Dimensions of thought, imagination, backchat and reactions within the energy of anxiety and hopelessness, where I’ve manifested the physical reactions of my heart palpitating, nausea in my gut, feeling like the energy has been ‘sucked out’ of my legs, my body becoming stiff and difficult to move, and my shoulders becoming tight, through separating myself from myself into the dimensions of the mind and allowing myself to be controlled by energy of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am actually altering, changing and manipulating myself in/as my physical body, from its natural state as stability here, through the dimensions of the mind as energy within a Personality system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this entire play-out of manipulating myself as my physical through energy-experiences of the mind is actually ‘normal’, as the ‘normal’ way to experience oneself and to exist as, and not considering that this means my reality is dependent on the experience that I’m creating myself within my mind through the dimensions of thought, imagination, backchat and reactions, and that within this, means that I am defining myself as an Experience within the physical. Never in fact considering what I’m actually doing to my physical body by manipulating how I’m experiencing myself within it, as energy through the dimensions of a Personality for my own self interest, never questioning or investigating what is actually happening/being done to the physical as I am busy preoccupied within/by the energies of the Personality I am possessed within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have so separated myself from the physical that even though in the moment I can actually see the changes that occur in my physical body, to use the physical reactions/conditions that I’ve created within me through my participation in/as thought, imagination, backchat and reactions as justification for following the positive within my mind, instead of actually questioning ‘why is my body changing like this, when I was fine/stable a moment before? What am I doing/how am I accepting and allowing this change to take place?’ Because it’s only me here, within/as my physical, so the change must be coming from me. Where instead what I’ve done is create a relationship with my mind, through that manipulate the physical, to then use the physical conditions which I created as excuse/justification to manipulate myself to seek out what my mind has shown me as ‘positive’ rather than applying myself here within physical reality in interacting with others and expanding myself into/as this world and developing effective relationships with other beings in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body to such an extent that I didn’t see, realize and understand in that moment where my heart started to palpitate, I felt nauseous in my gut, felt like the energy was ‘sucked out’ of my legs, my body became stiff and difficult to move, and my shoulders became tight, was related/connected to my participation in/as the mind as thoughts, imagination, backchat and reactions with the energy resonance of anxiety and hopelessness, that was actually manipulating my state of being in/as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider what my physical was actually going through within the discomfort and pain caused by manipulating the physical through the energy of the mind, and to not consider/investigate what the consequences have been through my participation in/as this relationship with/toward my physical body and accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my physical and manipulate it through mind energies.

We’ll go up to here for now and in the next post, continue with the Self Forgiveness in relation to the Physical/Behaviour Dimension of the Validation Character/Personality.

Day 115: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension: Self Forgiveness

This post is a continuation to:

Day 108: Waiting to Value Myself

Day 113: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension: Commitment Statements

Day 114: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension

In this post I’ll be walking Self Forgiveness on the Backchat Dimension of Validation Character that I walked in the previous post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with an opportunity to expand myself in this world within interacting with/meeting others, instead go into this relationship toward meeting others through my participation in the initial thought, then the imagination, and then into backchat and to not see the relationship I’ve formed toward meeting/interacting with others in which instead of simply being here as myself and interacting with others, I use this event/experience/situation to create negative and positive experiences toward it, which I further solidify within myself when I participate in the backchat “I really hope they are not going to react to me negatively/dislike me”. Within this, not seeing the connection I am forming between the imagination as how I imagine I’m going to experience myself as ‘negatively’ and how I further solidify this belief that ‘I am’ this energetic reaction/relationship toward this scenario/situation within the words I speak within myself as the backchat “I really hope they are not going to react to me negatively/dislike me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a moment of facing self movement as self expression in interacting with another, to accept and allow myself to instead go into my mind and allow my attention to be fixated on imagination where I’ve formed within my mind an alternate reality in which I have a particular relationship toward meeting/interacting with people, and using this internal conversation within myself to further cement these energetic relationships toward what is here, such as when I participate in the backchat “I really wish I didn’t have to face this person right now” and “It would be so great if I didn’t have to face this person”, in which I further validate the imagination I’m having toward the event, and thus literally possessing myself with my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with a moment of simply moving myself here as myself, to instead allow myself to go into my imagination and become distracted with the idea that maybe there is some way I can avoid this situation/event, and to further validate this relationship toward meeting/interacting with others by participating in the backchat “If only there was some way I don’t have to go through with this” and to not consider that what I am actually trying to avoid is how I would experience myself, and that there is no actual real way to avoid that, because I am the one that create the negative experience within myself, through imagination and backchat, and thus to actually stop experiencing myself that way, I must stop participation in the thoughts/imagination/backchat that keeps me cycling within that pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the resistance I’ve created within myself toward meeting/interacting with others is what I need to stop fueling & creating within myself, which I further fuel when I participate in the backchat “Maybe the other person won’t show up and I won’t have to go through with this” and “Maybe I could come up with some excuse to not have to meet this person”, and that it is thus ‘no use’ to try and avoid certain situations to try and escape this experience, or to simply hope that they won’t happen, as there will inevitably be more situations that come up that will activate the same response, as the reaction is a programmed response within myself as a relationship toward meeting/interacting with others, and thus I sabotage myself within thinking that I require/want/need my external reality/environment to change, since it is myself as those patterns, and there is no way to avoid myself, and I will thus avoid changing myself as the relationships I exist as, as long as I allow myself to focus on/distract myself with factors outside myself, when the only real solution is within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing a moment of interacting/meeting another, to allow myself to participate in the backchat “I am really not feeling up to it right now”, within this only postponing the inevitable, as I’ll have to face this point of self change and thus all I’m doing is making it take longer by talking myself into allowing this relationship to continue, instead of stopping it when and as it come up, and actually thus walking the process of self change through practical application, to thus get it done and be done with walking myself out of this pattern of reaction, and no longer be directed/controlled by this preprogrammed reaction/play out, so that I can simply be here as myself and expand myself within meeting/interacting with others.

In the following post I’ll walk Commitment Statements in relation to this Self Forgiveness on the Backchat Dimension of the Validation Character.

Day 104: Many Characters of Waiting

Featured Artwork by Andrew Gable

So I’m going to start writing out, one by one, all the different characters I can find in which I become/live as a character of Waiting, where I’m giving in to some reason/justification/excuse as to why I apparently can’t stop living as a certain pattern instead of realizing that I am the one that can change me, nothing else in fact can, and thus I am only ever waiting for myself to change.

The key to this is realizing and remembering that any reaction of separation one has toward something/someone else is never valid. For example blaming another, being jealous of another, judging another, being angry at another, being disappointed with another, and there’s many more possible reactions that come up in us toward others.

And this applies to anyone or anything in one’s reality – could be a person, a place, a particular scenario, a scent, a memory, a picture, a particular sound, tonality of someone’s voice, a certain hairstyle, etc, that one has a reaction to. Basically anything that is here, it’s possible to have a reaction toward.

Now, notice, the physical does not react in separation toward itself. Your house is not busy reacting toward the color of your car, for example. Seems ridiculous in that context, doesn’t it? Yet that’s what we do without even realizing it most of the time, we’ve so taken it for granted and accepted it as just a part of who we are. Because we learned these patterns for the most part in our very early childhood, and have since ‘forgotten’ that we actually learned these behaviors, we weren’t born this way, reacting to things, we were just here. Being here as a physical being interacting with the physical world, which is essentially just an extension of oneself, as we all come from the same substance, we’re made of the same particles, and it’s quite silly indeed for one group of particles to judge another, and it’s outrightly insane that they’d go to war with each other, and all the other atrocities that we are committing toward those who are just other versions of ourselves.

So the point is to ‘get back to’ that point of ‘innocence’ before I became programmed with all sorts of reactions to my world/environment/reality, so that I can actually live here and experience and participate in real physical reality, and not spend the time I have here, wasting it away in reactions to things. Cause that’s not really living. And there are serious consequences for living as reactions and separation toward what is here, which you can see as all the atrocities that’s taking place, in all the harm the we’re doing to one another, and to our very own selves. So not only do you waste your life away, in chemical reactions which wreak havoc on your physical human body, but so we wreak havoc on the entire physical reality, as a direct result of the judgments and reactions we’re participating in towards our world/reality/environment/other beings.

So I’ll be walking through and deconstructing all the patterns of Waiting as the multiple Characters and their dimensions that I find I have existed as, in which I have accepted myself as the patterns I’ve become as 'who I am' and thus can only Wait for Change to happen to me, within this getting into the nitty-gritty of each character and deconstructing the various dimensions of each character, so I can release these patterns through self forgiveness and corrective application, and walk here as a real being in oneness and equality, that lives in a way that is best for all life.

Day 98: The My Way Character – Self Forgiveness Statements Continued

Featured Artwork by Rozelle De Lange

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the thought comes up that I might not get My Way, to believe in this thought, instead of realizing that it is just a picture in my mind, which I utilize to trigger a certain set of emotion/feeling/thought/backchat reactions within myself, through which I am creating an entire experience within myself, totally in no relation to reality, and thus creating and going into an ‘alternate reality’ in my mind, in which I fear that I am not going to get My Way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination and actually play out in my mind what might happen if I don’t get my way, as to how and in what ways I might suffer or ‘lose out’ on something, and within this not considering/realizing that I am literally using these made-up scenarios in my mind to convince myself to take action/go to battle/go on the defense/fight for My Way, in attempt to avoid/protect myself from the pictures in my mind which aren’t even real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this character is who I am, where when this character activates, I have become it totally, within believing that I need/want/must have My Way, and not even realizing/considering that My Way is only an idea in my mind that I am defending, and within this, not realizing that if My Way was the Way that is Best for All, it need no defending whatsoever, as it is common sense what is best, and only that which is not considering all equally would need to be defended/fought for/justified/reasoned as it doesn’t stand in common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form the My Way character as a way to ‘deal with’/’protect myself from’ the fear of my interest not being considered/looked out for/taken care of, due to existing in a world we’ve accepted reality as competition with each other and where we each only consider ourselves and our own, and within this never considering the solution is thus for each and every one to stop considering only oneself and one’s own, in separation of the whole.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/consider that living and existing as the My Way character has never lead to a world where I am actually safe and supported and where my best interest is considered, but that the world has only become increasingly more hostile a place to be, as we drive ourselves further and further into separation and fear toward one another, all in our struggle/fight to ‘look out for ourselves’, cause we’re not simply looking out for ourselves as the whole, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fighting for My Way is a behavior that will never produce what it is that I am seeking, which is to have my best interest considered, because I am not living that myself, within considering what’s in all’s best interest, as how can I expect anyone else to do that which I won’t even do myself?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even consider if what it is that I think I want as My Way, is actually what is in my best interest after all, cause if I had I would see/realize/understand that there is no Self Interest that is separate from the Whole Interest, as Self is Part of the Whole.