Day 110: Waiting for Approval: Thought Dimension: Practical Application
Here I’ll walk the Practical Application of Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements to assist and support with identifying when/as self is going into/activating this character, to instead take self responsibility and self direction to not give directive control over to a Thought, but to remain here stable as the breath as who I am, to in fact be living for real as a real being, and no longer participate in/be ‘subject’ to a pattern of behavior where I am not here as myself, but living in relation to a thought in my mind which isn’t real, and only serves the purpose to create conflict as friction within myself to, from that friction, generate energy for the mind to feed off of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop the habit of participating in this character of waiting for Validation/Approval, wherein I sabotage myself from realizing myself as and living as the whole, complete being that I am here that is not lacking in any ‘value’ or ‘worth’, but to at a single thought, accept and believe the idea/perception that I must seek/receive validation/worth/approval from others in how they react/act toward me, within this not considering how I am actually desiring for others to act a certain way toward me, and that I then within this character, gear my actions/behaviors toward trying to get/gain approval from another, which is actually me trying/attempting to manipulate another to act how I want/desire them to act, which is not how I’d like to be treated myself, as I would not actually like others to be attempting to manipulate me into the behavior that they believe/think they want/need/ me to act toward them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that in the moment that thought arise in my mind that I actually have a decision - to follow that thought and allow myself to be directed and controlled by a picture in my mind, or to remain here as myself and so be able to interact with another as myself as who I really am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this one thought to take me into my mind where I completely compromise myself by allowing this thought to become the directive principle of me and thus rob myself of an opportunity to be here as myself, interacting with another being and actually getting to know another being, as I’m instead only interacting with/as a thought in my mind.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself have the thought/similar thought when facing meeting someone for the first time or interacting with another in general, wherein a picture comes up in my mind of another person not liking me and treating me in what I’ve defined as a ‘negative’ way and/or when and as a picture comes up in my mind of another liking me and treating me in what I’ve defined as a ‘positive’ way, I stop and breathe and stabilize myself here, and focus on myself here as the physical, physically here with another being. As I realize that to follow the thought will lead to me missing out on the opportunity to interact with another being as who they are here and as myself here and will become that thought to the extent that it will take over my very behaviors where all I exist as in that moment will be the point of seeking approval/validation from that person, and thus only feeding the mind while missing out on actual reality and actual living.