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The Consciousness of the Ant - Part 1 at Eqafe.com |
This
post is a continuation to:
Day
109: Waiting for Approval – I Need You To Like Me: Thought Dimension
Day 110: Waiting for Approval: Thought Dimension: Practical Application
Day 111: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension
Day 112: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension: Self Forgiveness
Day 110: Waiting for Approval: Thought Dimension: Practical Application
Day 111: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension
Day 112: Validation Character: Imagination Dimension: Self Forgiveness
Now we’ll continue with walking the Self Forgiveness on the Physical/Behavior Dimension:
Positive Dimensions Internal Changes:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how in the moment of facing meeting/interacting with another I had originally been stable and fine, and then went into the mind into the negative experiences of anxiety and hopelessness that caused ‘negative’ changes within my body, and then moved into the positive experience of relief, which had a ‘positive’ effect on my physical body, where my body felt relaxed, lighter, and more ‘energetic’, and so within this because my body ‘felt better’, I opted to chase after the ‘positive way’ of not going through with the meeting/interaction, instead of sticking to what it was I’d set out to do that will expand me in my world, and thus following a feeling, instead of sticking to practical reality and the task at hand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how what I accept and allow within myself in ‘the small’ in my own life, is what I’ll accept and allow in my relationship to the world as ‘the greater’, where the example that I’m living is to instead of stick to practical reality and facing the relationships that I form with other beings here, I instead abdicate my responsibility and create a negative experience toward it, and then create a positive in my mind and follow only ‘positive experiences’, which is manifested in the greater as Religions/Spirituality/Entertainment, where we’re following that which ‘makes us’ Feel Good, instead of sticking to reality, not getting distracted by positive/negative experiences within ourselves, and actually practically applying ourselves in reality to actually have an impact in this world.
Negative Dimensions External Changes:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how as I accept and allow myself to participate in the Dimensions and Energies of the mind as within this Character/Personality, as I participated within the negative dimension where my heart started to palpitate, I felt a bit nauseous in my gut, it felt like the energy was ‘sucked out’ of my legs and they felt week and wobbly, and my body became stiff, like difficult to move, and my shoulders became tight, that I also changed in my physical behavior to where my physical condition became the physical embodiment of my submission to my mind, where my whole body would slouch down/compress into itself, as the manifestation/becoming of ‘hopelessness’, and would become the embodiment of ‘anxiety’ where I would start shifting from one foot to another, and thus I allowed myself to become the physical embodiment of what I accept and allow myself to define me as within and as the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question in this moment the behavior and condition within/as my physical body, and to consider what it is actually showing me, and to be so separated from my physical body, that I don’t even realize the direct relationship between the mind and the physical, and the extent to which I can influence it within/through my participation in/as the Dimensions and Energies of the Mind, where I then use the ‘feedback’ I’m getting from my physical as the conditions manifested within in, as justification/excuse to follow the ‘positive’ and avoid facing my responsibility here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the physical body will actually show me what it is I am accepting and allowing myself to live as, as for example slouching and becoming the manifestation of hopelessness, and fidgeting from one foot to the other the manifestation of my participation in/as anxiety, and to within this not consider that I should have thus used the physical as a reference, showing me what I am accepting and allowing and investigated how it is I am changing my experience and the condition of my physical in that moment, instead of remaining here, stable, as breath and simply following through with meeting/interacting with another being.
Positive Dimensions External Changes:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand how I accepted and allowed myself to participate in the Negative dimension and so manifest the internal and external Negative experiences/behaviors, and then shifting into the Positive dimension, and manifesting the internal and external Positive experiences/behaviors, where I experienced myself as having a spring in my step and standing up straighter compared to how I was experiencing myself while participating in the negative dimension, as hopeless/slouching/anxious/fidgety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question in that moment as to how I can go from one experience, to in the next moment experience myself completely differently, and never actually questioning what it is that I’m doing to my physical human body, as it’s not the body putting itself through these experiences, but me through/as my participation in the Dimensions and Energies of the mind, as in the moment right before I started participating in these Dimensions and Energies, the physical body was stable, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not ever question what is it actually experiencing from me subjecting it to these positive and negative experiences/conditions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that these conditions/experiences are therefore not real, and are not the natural expression of the physical body, as all these conditions/experiences were the result of my participation in/as the mind where I followed energy instead of remaining here, stable, in reality and facing my responsibilities.
In the next post we’ll continue with Commitment Statements in regards to the points walked here in Self Forgiveness.
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