Day 115: Validation Character: Backchat Dimension: Self Forgiveness




This post is a continuation to:

In this post I’ll be walking Self Forgiveness on the Backchat Dimension of Validation Character that I walked in the previous post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with an opportunity to expand myself in this world within interacting with/meeting others, instead go into this relationship toward meeting others through my participation in the initial thought, then the imagination, and then into backchat and to not see the relationship I’ve formed toward meeting/interacting with others in which instead of simply being here as myself and interacting with others, I use this event/experience/situation to create negative and positive experiences toward it, which I further solidify within myself when I participate in the backchat “I really hope they are not going to react to me negatively/dislike me”. Within this, not seeing the connection I am forming between the imagination as how I imagine I’m going to experience myself as ‘negatively’ and how I further solidify this belief that ‘I am’ this energetic reaction/relationship toward this scenario/situation within the words I speak within myself as the backchat “I really hope they are not going to react to me negatively/dislike me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a moment of facing self movement as self expression in interacting with another, to accept and allow myself to instead go into my mind and allow my attention to be fixated on imagination where I’ve formed within my mind an alternate reality in which I have a particular relationship toward meeting/interacting with people, and using this internal conversation within myself to further cement these energetic relationships toward what is here, such as when I participate in the backchat “I really wish I didn’t have to face this person right now” and “It would be so great if I didn’t have to face this person”, in which I further validate the imagination I’m having toward the event, and thus literally possessing myself with my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with a moment of simply moving myself here as myself, to instead allow myself to go into my imagination and become distracted with the idea that maybe there is some way I can avoid this situation/event, and to further validate this relationship toward meeting/interacting with others by participating in the backchat “If only there was some way I don’t have to go through with this” and to not consider that what I am actually trying to avoid is how I would experience myself, and that there is no actual real way to avoid that, because I am the one that create the negative experience within myself, through imagination and backchat, and thus to actually stop experiencing myself that way, I must stop participation in the thoughts/imagination/backchat that keeps me cycling within that pattern.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the resistance I’ve created within myself toward meeting/interacting with others is what I need to stop fueling & creating within myself, which I further fuel when I participate in the backchat “Maybe the other person won’t show up and I won’t have to go through with this” and “Maybe I could come up with some excuse to not have to meet this person”, and that it is thus ‘no use’ to try and avoid certain situations to try and escape this experience, or to simply hope that they won’t happen, as there will inevitably be more situations that come up that will activate the same response, as the reaction is a programmed response within myself as a relationship toward meeting/interacting with others, and thus I sabotage myself within thinking that I require/want/need my external reality/environment to change, since it is myself as those patterns, and there is no way to avoid myself, and I will thus avoid changing myself as the relationships I exist as, as long as I allow myself to focus on/distract myself with factors outside myself, when the only real solution is within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing a moment of interacting/meeting another, to allow myself to participate in the backchat “I am really not feeling up to it right now”, within this only postponing the inevitable, as I’ll have to face this point of self change and thus all I’m doing is making it take longer by talking myself into allowing this relationship to continue, instead of stopping it when and as it come up, and actually thus walking the process of self change through practical application, to thus get it done and be done with walking myself out of this pattern of reaction, and no longer be directed/controlled by this preprogrammed reaction/play out, so that I can simply be here as myself and expand myself within meeting/interacting with others.

In the following post I’ll walk Commitment Statements in relation to this Self Forgiveness on the Backchat Dimension of the Validation Character.
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