Humanity's Journey to Life: behavior

Showing posts with label behavior. Show all posts

Day 210: Can We See Truth of Ourselves in Others?

Now continuing from the previous post, where I left off saying that there is a way in which we can develop the ability to be able to see ourselves as who/what we really are, using our ability to see things in others.

Now, obviously the first step is the decision to want to see yourself as who you are, which comes from the realization that thinking and believing you are one way, while living another way in actuality, leads to unfortunate consequences in your world and relationships. Really, it shouldn't sit right with you that you've got one version of yourself that you see in your mind while there is the real version of you walking around in reality, interacting with your world/others, and you don't even have a clue of the consequence you are creating, because you can't even see what you're really doing, what effect you're having on your world and those around you, what the truth behind your actions is, and most importantly, the example that you're living for others to see.

I mean, this didn't sit right with me to be stuck in a delusion of who I am when the truth of me is here always, and the only way you can seem to avoid it, is by lying to yourself and coming up with all sorts of excuses and justifications of why you're apparently excused from the expectations you would hold others to, why you're apparently allowed to do and say things that you don't find acceptable for others to do.

So since we are blinded by our own excuses and justifications, our own behaviors have become so accepted to a point that we don't see clearly and directly who and what we're being, and therefore, why the fact that we can at least see these things in others, becomes so important and ultimately useful. Because, we can use what we see in others, to get to see things in ourself. How does that work?

Since we can see another's behavior without all the justifications and excuses, we can see it for what it is and the consequence it creates. This can help us to identify certain behaviors, so that we can then look for that behavior in ourself, and then even identify the excuses and justifications we used/use in order to justify/give permission to ourself to participate in the behavior.

This like any skill one is developing will not be so easy at first but would get easier with time and application as you develop the ability to see various points within yourself, and then it actually becomes quite a fun and fascinating journey of developing self awareness, and 'unlocking the puzzle' in a way, of what we have become, as this riddle of self justifications and beliefs in contradiction to reality. It becomes quite fun to when you identify a point within another, to then investigate to find out where/how the same point exists in you.

So a practical example of this would be for example where you see someone who is distracted in a moment and therefore not being very considerate of what they are doing or where they are going, and then trip right into some object that they hadn't noticed was in their path, or maybe they even ran into you because they weren't looking where they were going, and you think or say something like 'why don't they watch where they are going??'. So the point here to investigate within oneself would be where are you in moments distracted and not aware of everything in your environment and you create some sort of consequence from not being aware and paying attention?

So what is the point of doing this? What do we do with this information? Once I have identified a point within another, and then found it also within myself in some aspect/area of my living? That we will get into in the next post, where we'll look at how this tool of seeing ourselves in others, is one of the most effective tools in the process of Self Change, which can be one of the most difficult things to do, and how this is of the utmost benefit to oneself. How the key to our true potential has been here all along, we just haven't been able to see it yet because we haven't been able to see ourselves.

Day 203: Why do Teens Lie to Their Parents?

When I was a teenager I'd stay out late and lie about it. I would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to hang out with friends that I wasn't allowed to because 'they were a bad influence'. I drank and did drugs. And I lied bout it all obviously because if I didn't, I would have been punished. And I wanted to try/do all these things because there were many examples in my life that was saying these things were apparently what you want to do as a teenager. My mom would say those things are bad, you're not allowed to do them, but I wouldn't listen because I didn't trust her, because she would get emotional and judgmental and that obviously doesn't look like a sound supportive being who I could trust for practical advice. She just didn't have the effective understanding and vocabulary to effectively express things to me, like an equal talking to another equal who is new to the world and giving practical support of how this world operates and how consequence works in reality. She wasn't trained to be a parent because we don't have effective training in parenting for everyone.

There is the tendency to want to 'hide' what is wrong with ourselves/the world from children when they're very little, or to not talk about such 'negative' things, in order to allow children to have as a 'good' a time as possible, and then what happens is they don't have any practical idea of the dangers out there or the consequences we can create for ourselves.

What we also tend to do is to 'create consequences' for children, which are then like 'fake' consequences, things like taking away the things they like to do like use their phone or the internet or the tv, but these so-called consequences are consequences that we did unto them, they are not the Actual consequences that would result from their behavior. So when we do this they are not learning about what their actual consequences of their actions are, they are only learning that if/when they are 'caught', by you, doing certain things, that then You will do something to them, or take something from them. So then what happens is you get in the way of them learning about actual consequence, because they are only now learning what you might do to them.

So the child actually has, from that perspective, very common sensical reason to lie to you – to avoid your punishment. So to tell the child not to lie to you, or it's not right to lie, is like, rather pointless because they found a benefit to lying, which was to get themselves out of punishment and get to do what they think they want to do, sometimes. So to say there is consequence to lying to you isn't going to make much sense, because to the child it will seem there is more consequence in not lying to you. Also, in the way the world is, one may find it necessary to lie in some circumstances. Because we as human beings are not yet trustworthy enough with each other to be able to just be honest all with everything. So, you don't want to form a morality toward lying as being right/wrong / good/bad. It is preferable to not lie of course.

So things like taking tv away or 'being grounded' for example, are actually 'punishments'. They are not the natural actual consequences that would result from what they are doing. Like for example, if you stay up late a lot it can affect the development of your body and lead to issues down the road, as the body depletes itself from not getting the rest it needs to rebuild itself from the day's living. Not – if you stay up late you will be grounded. That doesn't make sense. That doesn't give any practical understanding of the consequence they would create for themselves by not sleeping properly, that is the consequence You will create because You want them to sleep and not stay out late, so then it is about what You Want and not about what is Best for Themself.

As parents we have a tendency to attempt to control, because we don't believe anything else will work. We don't believe that a child would respond to common sense, because we haven't aligned ourself with common sense yet. So we think we have to 'put a foot down' and take control. So you're essentially demanding that they comply, and that is very unlikely to have a positive result. What it's going to look like to the child is that You want something of/from them, You wanting to control them/their behavior to the result You want. They are not going to see it as trying to prevent them from experiencing consequences in reality, as what is best for Them. Because that is in fact essentially what it is, it is wanting/demanding/expecting certain behavior from the child. That is in essence wanting to control another being, and most beings are not going to respond well to being controlled. I certainly didn't, if you have had experiences in your life where another was trying to control you, you can check what effect that had/how did you respond to that.

So we've got a ways to go in correcting ourselves, and the children are going to suffer through that, as did we also as children, but we'll walk ourselves out of this step by step until it's done, and we can challenge ourselves to make it as fun as we can, by not making things personal/judging. We have now the tools and just have to walk it, educate ourselves to become practical beings grounded here in reality.

An important point within this, is to look at everything from the perspective of what am I living, instead of what I'm expecting another to live for/toward me. And checking all points that come up, like if I am mad at them for lying – how/when/where do I or have I lied? Or if they aren't respecting me - how/where have I not been respectful? Where respect would mean treating another as my equal. There is the tendency to place all these expectations on another, without focusing on ourselves and our own living and behaviors.

And we need to educate ourselves on the actual consequences so we can effectively explain them - not the consequences we would create for them ourself. Give the child the common sense, so they can reason for themselves what is the best course of action. And if they make a mistake – do not judge them. And realize, they have not hurt you, they only hurt themselves. When we make it about me and what They're doing to Me, then it is about control and manipulation and enslavement instead of allowing a being their individual life and learning process. It is like the 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'. We can show the children where the water is, but we can't make them drink it. And the more we would try to force them to the more they would resist, because then it looks like we have some personal agenda or investment in it, and it is going to seem fishy. You've got to give the child their space to choose. Trust in a relationship is indeed something that is built, but you have to give trust at first for it to even be possible for trust to emerge. You have to trust the being, not to act how you want them to, but trust the being to hear common sense, and to understand the choices they face is always to do what is best for them or what is not. Maybe they will, and maybe they won't. But it must be up to the individual if we're to live as truly equals.

Day 185: WHY ME - Drunk on the Whine of Imagination

www.Desteni.org

In this blog post we are now continuing from this previous post: Day 183: Everything that Happens to Me is Another Excuse to Feel Bad, in which I have started to open up the point of taking what’s going on in my reality, events that are taking place or that happen throughout the day, which I would define as negative, and take it personally in a ‘why me’ victim type character. And I formed such a habit, such an addiction to this character, that I still live it to this day, and that is why I am here blogging about it – to assist and support myself to stop this pattern, through walking myself through it, point by point, within specific detail, in order to identify the pattern so that I can recognize it when it is happening and what it is that triggers it, to give myself the opportunity and ability to stop what has essentially become an automated process, to the extent where I would act on it immediately in a situation when a particular trigger arise.

The problem with living as this pattern of participating in the mind within making myself a victim to everything within my imagination, where I imagine that everything else s to blame for how I experience myself, is that I manifest all kinds of consequence for myself that just isn’t necessary at all. I mean, why would I want to create consequence for myself to go through if I really don’t have to? It doesn’t make any sense, it has just become an automated habit, that I do because it’s become what I’m used to/addicted to as I’ve what I’ve accepted is ‘normal’.

The effects are really not pleasant, there is depression and getting upset/overwhelmed with emotions, which is a really draining experience, and takes quite a toll on the physical, is a big waste of time – why do I want to spend the breaths that I have here in this life, within a self-created shit-storm of emotions and feelings, when I could simply be here, stable as myself and really get to know myself as this actual reality that is here, no longer caught up in an imaginary reality in my mind – and it interferes with my relationships, as I go into blame and reaction instead of just being here with another person and not creating any drama. Do I really want to be ‘unwittingly’ acting out a role in a Drama as the Star in my own Play, where I ‘play out’ the patterns in my mind, over and over again?

No way.

How can I enjoy myself or myself with another being, when I am possessed within an experience in my mind? When I am in this character I am definitely am not enjoying myself. It is quite a disempowering experience, as I am literally disempowering myself by giving my ‘power’ away to thoughts/feelings/emotions/my mind, in essentially saying ‘go ahead, you take over and direct me now’ within just the simple acceptance of myself as being what comes up in my mind as an experience of myself. And instead of living, I become an observer of my own life, and then a reaction to that observation, and so am not really here living, I’m just a reaction to an observation – how limited.

The Solution to this problem is the application of a process of self forgiveness and commitment to self correction, as has been discussed in previous blogs, where one utilize writing (or typing) as a tool for self change, through self investigation, as within one’s writing, one can see who one is, as the words one live, find the patterns self exist/live as that are not supportive, and to rescript oneself into corrective application, to assist and support self to actually change one’s living. Thus, I’ll be walking this series of posts on this topic of this ‘why me’ VICTIM Character, in between walking the series on WAR which began in the previous post.

Essentially the essence of e Victim character is to immediately utilize any excuse/reason/justification to go into a point of limitation, placing myself as a victim to my world/reality, really anything, instead of what in common sense would be much more worthwhile would be to always look how I can take responsibility, within this always looking at/considering in any given situation, what ability do I have to respond – ultimately expanding oneself at every opportunity.

Which brings us to the Rewards of no longer existing as this pattern. I mean, why stop this pattern? It is so easy to continue living as it, as it’s what I’ve gotten used to, and thus to stop it is not going to feel ‘normal’ or ‘natural’, in fact it is going to go exactly against what I feel comfortable with, what I even believe/think/perceive I am capable of, as this is how I’ve always existed practically my whole life since when I was a child in the first seven years.

From that perspective it’s not going to be easy, it’s not going to ‘feel good’, and thus how/why so many are trapped within the ‘only do what feels good trap’ to never take the opportunities where one might actually expand oneself into real living here, because one deliberately ignore what is uncomfortable. But like anyone who has struggled at something new, to eventually become good at it, can realize that new things are not easy in the beginning, as one has to push oneself beyond what one is already capable of, for example, with physical activities, one is going to be sore as one develop one’s muscles to perform certain tasks and maneuvers that one hasn’t done before.
Thus the key is to not stop at the point of discomfort, but to push through, realizing that it is the indication for a point of self change and self expansion, through self willed self application to breathe and move through any resistance.

Thus in terms of this Victim Character, what one essentially stands to gain, is literally life itself as actual real living to one’s full potential, through no longer accepting and becoming limitation. Within this, you will constantly be expanding your abilities in this world to constantly be able to do more and go beyond what you could before.

As we go further into specifics of this Character of Victimhood in posts to come, we’ll uncover in more specificity the nature and design of this character, to better recognize the pattern of behavior and how it activates and takes-over within a process of mind participation within thoughts, imagination, backchat, emotions, and feelings, where one completely and totally limit oneself, instead of recognizing an opportunity to develop self as self will, self expression and becoming more than one ever thought possible.

To be continued..

Day 172: Board Games as Tools for Brainwashing (Part 3)

This post is a continuation from the previous posts:

Day 170: Board Games as Tools for Brainwashing

Day 171: Board Games as Tool for Brainwashing (Part 2)

Now we’re going to continue from the previous posts, in now walking Self Forgiveness on the relationship we’ve existed as that we’ve discovered through having a look at our relationship with/toward board games, in this bringing responsibility back to self at the individual level, as that is where all responsibility lies, and then we’ll walk Self Commitment Statements, to correct our relationship with board games to an equal and one standing to assist and support with no longer giving one’s ‘power’, as one’s self will and self direction, away to board games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I was not born already playing board games or already liking board games, but that I had to be taught about them, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted that 'board games are fun' or are 'normal' and thus to not question/investigate them, as to what they show about our accepted nature as humanity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when where it comes up in a moment to play a board game, and I notice a character activating within myself according to the memories of past experiences with playing board games, to not question this, but to accept it as normal, within this not questioning how it is that I can go from one moment being here stable, to then suddenly my entire inner experience changing and being ‘taken over’ by the character which is activating, where I can see myself getting into a certain ‘mood’ and ‘stance’ within myself as to how I’m going to act/move/speak within playing the board game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in such moment not consider how when the character activate and take over, that I am no longer here simply as myself, playing the board game and interacting with those around me, or even aware at all of my physical environment/surroundings, as I’ve literally become the embodiment of this board game character which takes up all my focus and attention, which is now focused on playing the game and maintaining a certain presentation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use board games as a distraction and form of ‘coping mechanism’ at family gatherings/occasions/holidays, as a distraction from my inner experience as how I was experiencing myself in the situation of being around other family members/the environment/situation, instead of investigating and questioning my inner reaction, but rather suppressing it, so I can continue ‘having a good time’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play long with the principles of the game as If I totally accept the principles the game is based upon, when really I am going along with it out of fear, of how others might react if I were to question it, that there might be conflict, that I’d be ‘spoiling the fun’.

To not want to ‘spoil the fun’ within this not realizing that if the fun can be ‘spoiled’ then it isn’t real fun anyway, as it’s not then simply enjoying myself as life here, but is a ‘fun’ that is dependent on certain conditions being just so, by maintaining a ‘presentation’ of ‘this is fun’ ‘I have no problem with this’. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that anything that apparently ‘can’t be questioned’ is immediately suspect, and this includes for example God’s Will, or LOVE, where these are not to be questioned but simply believed/participated in, for if they were to be questioned, they would not stand up to common sense, and be exposed as the source of extensive abuse and suffering, and those are the things we resist to question/investigate, because we know that then we will have to change as what we are participating in does not stand as common sense what is best for all, and thus obviously ought to be stopped as it cause harm and that is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how who I am within my relationship toward board games is the same as our relationship as humanity to the ‘game’ of life, where the very same principles that I have accepted within board games are the same principles I have accepted to exist within the world at large.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in the behavior of utilizing board games as a distraction from my experience, that I am in essence participating in the same behavior that we as humanity participate in as a whole, where we seek to avoid looking at/facing/investigating what is really going on within ourselves, utilizing various forms of distraction, and thus, within this, I am responsible for the existence of this point, which is manifested on the larger world scale as the various entertainment industries, and that the very size and amount of such industries really shows the extent to which we as humanity have avoided facing ourselves and reality, and spending much of our ‘spare time’ within entertainment as fantasy creations, rather than getting down to actual living in reality, settling for fantasies instead of if we face this reality and sort it out, creating a world that is fun to live in and where we can really move and express ourselves, within actual physical reality, instead of only living in a world of imagination, which is imaginary and not real in substance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the same principles that form the design of the typical board game, as where there is a winner and the rest losers, where only one ‘benefits’ while the rest are left out, even though all participated in the game, is the same design as the current money system, and that since the money system is the system which provides us with the support to live, this means that those that are in the losing position are actually losing life, as they are being deprived of the very necessities to live, and thus such a system is unacceptable as it lead to such suffering and abuse, and thus should be corrected, through correcting Capitalism to stand on the principles which it was intended to but has not been held to, which is to effectively support everyone equally.

I commit myself to use board games as self assistance to become aware of myself as the relationships I exist as within myself, by when about to or during playing a board game, to notice and investigate what comes up within me, as the thoughts feelings, emotions, back/internal conversations that come up, and where if I am not in an environment that is suitable for investigating myself right in that moment, then I flag point and take note of the points that come up for myself to investigate when I have an appropriate moment later on, where I can really look at the points that came up and take the time to write it out and apply the corrective application of self forgiveness and self corrective statements.

I commit myself to when and as I see memories come up when the subject of board games is brought up, to flag point them for investigation, as these memories show me the clues as to how/where/when/why I created this character, according to previous experiences where I went into reactions/feelings/emotions and integrated them as a behavioral pattern that I then live out as a preprogrammed automated system.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself about to/going into a ‘board game character’, to stop, breathe and ground myself here in physical reality, and to assist and support myself to not go into this character, and remain here stable as myself, as I realize that by going into this character, I am not actually here living, but for the moment become the embodiment of the board game character, where I then am essentially possessed by this character where all my behavior, mannerisms, tonalities, movements, the words I speak, are all from within/as this character, and not as myself simply here with nothing moving inside me, able to express myself in the moment.

I commit myself to doing what it takes to correcting the system of Capitalism to function according to the principles that it is supposed to, within supporting humanity effectively, so that we can sort out this reality finally and ensure that all life is cared for, so that we can actually have some real fun here in reality, and not be tempted to seek out forms of entertainment as distractions from our responsibilities here, while so many suffer as a result of neglecting our responsibility, and thus I commit myself to holding Capitalism to its own principles and its claims that it is an effective system, so that it actually will be an effective system, and not simply accept it the way it is, out of fearing conflict/change, as the price of avoiding our responsibility is paid in human lives a price that no one would volunteer to pay.

Related Articles:

Day 162: EQUAL MONEY CAPITALISM - The Way Forward

Day 259: Give Happiness, Get Happiness

Imagining Solutions vs. The Living Solution: DAY 258

The Game of Life – It’s all about YOU: Day 259

Day 258: Vampires in the Soul of Sacred Geometry - ADC - Part 105

Day 155: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 5)

Featured Artwork by Anna Brix Thomsen

This post is a continuation to:

Day 139: The ‘I Don’t Want To Do This’ Character

Day 140: 'I Don’t Want to Do This': Thought Dimension

Day 141: I Don’t Want to Do This: Thought Dimension (Part 2)

Day 143: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 1)

Day 144: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 2)

Day 145: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 3)

Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)

Day 147: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 2)

Day 148: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 1)

Day 149: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 2)

Day 150: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 3)

Day 151: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 1)

Day 152: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 2)

Day 153: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 3)

Day 154: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 4)

Now we’ll continue from where we left off in the last post, with the Self Commitment Statements on the Physical/Behavior Dimensions.

Positive Dimensions Internal Changes Self Commitment Statements (continued):
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize and understand that in that moment of facing a responsibility that if carried out will affect my world and future, that I am by accepting and allowing myself to in that moment manipulate my physical body in order to manipulate myself to follow the positive, actually making myself ‘feel good’ about avoiding my responsibility, and thus essentially making myself ‘feel good’ about sabotaging myself and my world/future and accepting self limitation.

And thus, I commit myself to establish myself here as the living word by through the application of writing, self forgiveness, and commitments statements to walk myself out of these positive/negative manipulation games that I play with myself, so that I can live as expression within moving and directing myself here to actually follow through with the task before me, so that I am the living directive principle of myself, no longer subjecting myself to self-manipulation through positive/negative energy experiences.

Negative & Positive Dimensions External Changes Self Commitment Statements:
I commit myself to I commit myself to developing effective communication with/as my physical to see what my physical is in fact showing me that I am participating in, through the physical conditions that I manifest in my physical as a result of my participation in the mind, as the result of giving power to the mind as Thought, Imagination, Backchat, Reactions and Energy-Experiences. Particularly where I experience the physical conditions of where I slouched down and sat further back in my chair to see that I have become the physical manifestation of the ‘depression’ I was participating in, and where I became very stiff where my movements were like ‘jagged’ to see that I was manifesting this behaviour as the result of my participation in the energy-experiences of ‘dread’ and ‘anxiety’.

I commit myself to see, realize and understand that when my physical behaviour suddenly changes, where I become the embodiment of dread, anxiety and depression, to where I slouch and my movements become stiff, that that this indicates that I am not yet effectively aware of the processes taking place within my mind and within my standing as the directive principle of myself, that I have thus allowed myself to get to this point of possession by/within this character/personality to the extent where I experience actual changes in my physical behaviour.

Thus, I commit myself to, when and as I have gotten to the point of possession to where my physical behaviour changes without my awareness/expectation, to become more specific in my application and awareness of myself and my participation in mind-energies, so that I can effectively stop participation before it gets to this point of physical possession, as by the time it gets to that point, I have made it ‘most difficult’ for myself to stand and stop participation, as I have activated the ‘full force’ of the combination of the Thought, Imagination, Backchat, Reactions, and all the energies activated by/within those dimensions.

Therefore, I commit myself to when and as I notice my physical behaviors changing to where I am moving stiffly and jaggedly, and where I am slouching down in my chair, when I am facing the point of working/doing my job, to realize/understand that I am in the process of manipulating myself with energies through the mind, and thus I immediately breathe, sit up straight and relax my body to relieve the stiffness and jerkiness, as I realize that if I accept and allow myself to give in to the mind possession, that I’m essentially giving up on myself in a moment where I have the opportunity to make a change and expand myself here, and that the solution to moving myself out of mind-created experiences of energy and into real practical living here, is to actually physically move myself to go through with the tasks/responsibilities I’m facing before me, as for example the responsibility of working/doing my job.

In the next post, we’ll walk the Fear Dimension of the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working/doing my job, through which we’ll take a look at why it is that I formed this character in the first place.

Day 152: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 2)

Featured Artwork by Rozelle De Lange

This post is a continuation to:

Day 139: The ‘I Don’t Want To Do This’ Character

Day 140: 'I Don’t Want to Do This': Thought Dimension

Day 141: I Don’t Want to Do This: Thought Dimension (Part 2)

Day 143: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 1)

Day 144: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 2)

Day 145: I Don’t Want to Do This: Imagination Dimension (Part 3)

Day 146: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 1)

Day 147: I Don’t Want to Do This: Backchat Dimension (Part 2)

Day 148: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 1)

Day 149: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 2)

Day 150: I Don’t Want to Do This: Reaction Dimension (Part 3)

Day 151: I Don’t Want to Do This: Physical/Behavior Dimension (Part 1)

Here we’ll continue from the previous post, in walking the Self Forgiveness on the Positive and Negative, Internal and External physical changes that come up within the I Don’t Want to Do This Character/Personality in relation to working.

Negative Dimensions Internal Changes Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form a relationship with my physical body within the dimensions of thought, imagination, backchat and reactions within the energy of dread, anxiety and depression, where through that energy of/from the Mind in separation of myself as my physical body, I manifested the physical changes/conditions of my shoulders tightening, tension in my neck, my body feeling stiff and difficult to move, and my body feeling colder, a cramping in my gut, my body feeling weak and tired, and my eyes becoming heavy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I am actually altering and changing my physical body and its natural stability, by manipulating it with/through the energies of the mind within the dimensions of a character /personality system of the mind, that is merged within my physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe for so long that this is ‘normal’, as the ‘normal’ way to experience oneself as manipulating myself with the energies of the mind and through this changing how I experience myself in/as my physical body, and within this, to not see, realize and understand how the relationship I’ve formed to my physical body is dependent on the experience that i create from within and as Thought, Imagination, Backchat and Reactions, that have come to determine how I experience myself as an Experience within the physical. Within this, not seeing, realizing and understanding what it is I’m actually doing to my physical, never considering what the consequences will be to my physical body of manipulating my body within/through these experiences utilizing the energy of the Mind, as I’m too busy caught up in the Mind in the Dimensions of this Character/Personality in protecting/serving my own ‘self interest’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so separate myself from my physical body, that I am more occupied with the Thoughts, Imagination, Backchat and Reactions coming up within/from my Mind, within the dread, anxiety and depression, that I am not even considering what is going on in/as my physical as the consequence of participation in the mind, even though I can to an extent see/feel what is taking place within my physical body as for example the tension in my neck and shoulders, my body feeling weak and tired, a cramping in my gut and my eyes feeling heavy. And that I will then use these very physical conditions which I’ve manifested through my participation in the Mind, as excuse/reason/justification to avoid ‘the negative’ as what it is that I am facing, as for example working/doing my job, and instead seek ‘the positive’ within my Mind. Within this not even questioning how/why it is that my body is changing like this internally, from in one moment, being stable here as myself, then suddenly going into a ‘negative’ experience of tension and stiffness, and then suddenly having an opposite change into a ‘positive’ experience, and what it is I’m doing to accept and allow this? But instead, using these physical conditions that I’ve created as the excuse to justify going after what it is ‘I want’, instead of taking care of my responsibilities here, and thus sabotaging myself and my living here, all for the sake of energy-experiences, at the expense of the physical.

In the next post, we’ll continue walking the Self Forgiveness on the Physical/Behavior Dimension.