Day 78: Self Forgiveness for the “I Can Do It” Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and believe in the picture that comes up in my mind of me not being able to do something, and then as a response/reaction to this picture, to have created and go into the “I Can Do It” character, wherein I’m trying to convince myself that ‘I can do it’, which is only an illusion in my mind as it’s not based on actual reality that I have lived/am living as who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the picture of me failing to do something is only a picture in my mind, and not actual reality, and thus when I believe in the picture I’m believing in an illusion, the consequence of which is that I then become an illusion as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that shaping myself as a picture in my mind, is not changing me as who I am in actual reality, and thus to participate and believe in the pictures I see in my mind, is a waste of time, as instead of taking action in the physical reality to actually change and expand myself, I am only busying myself with pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moment the picture of me failing comes up, to instantly believe in it, and then to think that the only solution is by creating a character to superimpose on myself of that I ‘can do it’, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what I was doing was attempting to ‘cover up’ the reality that I saw as the picture in my mind that I believed with yet another picture illusion, and thus I was staying completely within the realm of pictures, within the fantasy-land of the mind, and not actually here, never actually really dealing with myself as who I actually am and what I’m living as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the picture that came up within my mind of me failing to do something, which I used this internal conversation to convince and talk myself into going into the character of ‘I can do it’, using backchat such as ‘oh god, what if I can’t do this’, ‘that’s just not an option’, ‘I have to do this’, ‘I must not fail at this’, within this internal conversation giving myself no other option than to pretend that ‘I can do it’, instead of seeing/realizing that the picture and belief that I am going to fail isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how this shows just how much we’re controlled by pictures within our mind, as we’ll completely allow ourselves to be directed by the pictures that come up, instantaneously believing in them as valid and real, and having complete reactionary experiences based off of them, completely removing ourself from reality, and so have we ever really been here if we’ve always been believing in and living according to the pictures in our mind?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by changing the picture that I see in my mind that I am actually somehow changing myself and how I experience myself, and within this not realizing that if we are living as the pictures in our minds, then we are living in ignorance of our actual effect on reality in what we’re actually creating in actual reality, as we’re only busy with the pictures in our mind.

  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must appear to be able to do something, within this not realizing that I am living within the fear of survival and am allowing this fear to control/direct my behavior, instead of me moving myself here, in common sense consideration of the current state of reality and what actions may be best to take in a given situation, where because I am living as a reaction to this fear, I am not free to take everything into consideration, as for the moment who I am becomes this fear and the associated reactions, and that is all I can think/say/do/act within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive reaction when I participate in the 'I can do it' character and then I succeed at what it is I am attempting to do, and then to take this as validation for participating in this character, because I have apparently succeeded due to living as this character, and not considering that it was the actions I took in the physical and how I applied myself in the physical that determined whether I succeeded or not, and not the character I was participating in, as the character isn't actually real, existing in substance, but is only an idea in mind, and within this, to ignore the times where I did not succeed when living as this character, so that I can believe that participating in this character is beneficial to me and continue to remain trapped  within predesigned, preprogrammed fictional characters.

Day 35 - The Obvious Secret of Consciousness

Day 35 - For context listen to the interview Reptilians – The Obvious Secret – Reality or Illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I require thoughts to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is consciousness, not realizing that it is a system existing within me and thus it is not actually me, but it is a system within me which I have abdicated myself to and allow to direct me in my stead.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and fear that if I stop thinking that I will die or cease to exist or lose myself, when in actuality I will begin to exist as actual life here, rather than just the thoughts that are created and generated by and within my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I stop my thoughts the only thing I will lose is those thoughts, and then I will be here as myself without preprogrammed thoughts directing me, silent inside able to move and direct myself, and become more aware of what I’ve been missing in the physical reality that I have been distracted from by always being in my mind within thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I accept who I am as the thoughts that run around in my head and allow those thoughts to direct me, then what does it imply that I am not even aware of those thoughts, that I am not a self directed individual in control of myself and my actions, but am a mind-controlled robot subject to the fluctuations of my preprogrammed mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I have not actually really been here experiencing, seeing, hearing actual reality, as I have been my whole life distracted by the noise in my head as the constant and continuous thoughts running.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the more I give permission to my thoughts that the more control I give my mind over me, within separating myself from my mind system and allowing thoughts to direct me, instead of standing equal to and as my mind within getting an understanding and awareness of how my mind functions as the patterns and behaviors I have been programmed with so that the mind no longer directs me in separation but I can direct myself and my mind in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every second I spend off in my mind is a wasted moment where I have missed actually reality that I can never get back, as you only get so many breaths in this life, and thus I should make the most of each and every single breath I have and make everybreath count where I within every breath move myself to expand and grow so that I can have an impact in this world and reality and ensure that who I am is actually a benefit to all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not aware of how my mind functions when my mind is what is controlling my very behavior, that I am actually a slave to my mind as I do not understand how it functions, how it is directing me, and manifesting consequences and play-outs in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if my thoughts just pop up in my mind as if out of nowhere, that I am not in control of myself but am at the whim of my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my beingness exists only in my head region, ignoring that I am actually here within my total physical body, and that actual self movement comes from the chest area, and what is going on inside the head region is thoughts being generated by and through my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am is not a system within me, but I am the being within the human physical body and my mind consciousness system, and since I am here within the human physical body and mind consciousness system implies that I am in fact responsible for my human physical body and my mind consciousness system, in getting an understanding and awareness of how they operate so that I can utilize what is here as myself in a way that result in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I have actually designed my own mind consciousness system throughout my life according to my acceptances and allowances, within the thoughts that I decided to participate in and exist as.

To not consider that if I would not actually want what really goes on in my secret mind to be exposed, that indicates that the nature of my secret mind as the thoughts and backchat I allow and give attention to is really nasty and evil, and should not in any condition be accepted and allowed by me to exist within me.

I commit myself to realizing the insignificance of thoughts, within simply looking at what is the result from participation in thoughts is that they produce no result in the physical, and that only participation in and as the physical is what matters as what takes place in matter and substance, whereas thoughts are just information energy threads with no real substance.

I commit myself to walking the daily process of getting an understanding of how my mind operates so that I stand equal to and as my mind and in equality and oneness can direct myself and my mind as myself within what is best for all.

I commit myself to not accepting and allowing the nastiness of backchat to exist within me.

I commit myself to realizing that who I am is not my thoughts and that I can actually only really live if I stop participation in thoughts, for as long as I am participating in thoughts, I am not really here in reality, not really living, but missing out and squandering this opportunity that I have as a physical being here with a limited number of breaths.

Day 33 - Who We Are Is LOVE or EVOL?

For context watch LOVE Month – Who We Are Is LOVE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who we are is ‘love’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider or really investigate what this phrase actually entail, but just believing it because it ‘sounds nice’ because of the positive charge I have attached to the word ‘love’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the belief that who we are is ‘love’ is just that – a belief – and not actually based on anything but on feelings and thoughts, where if I actually looked at what was going on within me when thinking that who we are is love, what I would see is that the belief has no actual substance to it and is just ‘what I would like to believe’ as it ‘sounds nice’, according to how we’ve defined love as the idea of what love is as being something that is ‘nice’ and ‘positive’ which is usually associated with positive energetic feelings we experience within our human physical bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I experience positive feelings only sometimes and have never been able to experience them all the time, and thus if sometimes that positive feeling does not exist, then how can I actually be it, since I am always here and it is not, thus obviously the positive feelings are only something I experience and are not who I am in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even though I realized that thinking that who we are is love isn’t actually true and doesn’t actually make sense, to suppress this realization and act like it is true within wanting to believe it, as if we are love as we are already, then that means I am fine the way I am and can stay the way I am, as I am apparently love already, and thus don’t have to do anything or lift a finger but can just continue as I always have, now just believing that ‘I am love’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that by actually deciding to participate in such a belief that I am actively deciding to participate in delusion and thus-

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the self-abuse and self-harm I am doing within participating in deluding myself, not only to myself but to everyone and everything in existence, as I am within my words and actions perpetuating a lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I am thus responsible for the existence of such a belief and deception to exist in the world within other beings as I have participated in the belief in ‘giving it life’ by living it as myself as ‘who I am’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the obvious fact that the current state of humanity shows beyond any doubt that who we are is certainly not 'love', as we are allowing such extensive abuse to take place.

I commit myself to sorting out where I have assigned polarities to words, and not allow myself to be directed by energetic feeling polarities, so that I can see things as they are and direct myself in my reality, not be directed by feelings that are just chemical reactions taking place within my human physical body, and are thus not who I really am.

I commit myself to become aware of the words I speak to ensure that the words I speak are not supporting and spreading delusion, but that what I speak is in the best interest of all life.

I commit myself to keeping myself grounded in actual reality and not participating in ‘nice sounding’ ideas in my mind, when I know there is no actual substance to such ideas, and that the only way one can believe in them is by not investigating such statements to see if it is actually true or relevant to reality and what is going on in this world and existence.

I commit myself to realizing that love as a feeling is useless in a physical reality where what’s done in the physical in the reality shared by all is what matters, and the fantasies in my mind do not matter as they do not take place in reality but are only illusions in my mind.

I commit myself to living love as physical action to manifest a world where all life is considered equally and supported equally and none are left out, as that you could call real love.

Day 32 – Daydreaming My Life Away Seemed So Sweet

For context listen to the interview LifeReview – The Daydreaming Zombie

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to daydream my life away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I’d rather spend my time in a fantasy in my mind than to be here in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept my reality as disappointing and thus give in to the temptation to daydream.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I turned to daydreaming as an attempt to ‘escape’ from my world and reality that I was disappointed with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so entertained by playing with various scenarios within my mind that I started to do it more and more until It became like second-nature and I would do it practically all the time, without even really being aware of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I developed the habit of daydreaming to such an extent that I haven’t even been aware of just how frequently I participate in imagination and daydreaming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use going into my mind as a way to ‘cope’ with the experiences I have in my reality and interactions with people that don’t go how I’d like, and thus I play out in my mind what I would have liked to have happen or would like to have done or said to other beings in certain scenarios. Like for example when you are at work and you can’t just say what you’d like or you’ll be fired, so I’d rather go into my mind and say what I would have liked to say, and knowing that what you do within your mind there is ‘no consequence’ in the physical reality as there would be if you actually said those things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself using daydreaming by imagining variations of how I would act as a way to ‘feel better’ when a situation doesn’t go how I’d like, where I then play the scenario out in my mind as to how I would have liked it to go, and then in a way I get to ‘feel like’ I got to have it my way, at least in my mind, when though it wasn’t real and my actual reality has in no way whatsoever changed or been corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my reality and my world as my relationships with others, within instead of taking action in reality to correct my relationships and how I act/react in the situations that come up in my world, ‘correcting’ it instead in my mind in a made-up fantasy illusion, to give myself a ‘feeling’ of correction and ‘closure’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to practically give up on correcting myself and my relationships in reality as I didn’t realize how and  further giving in more and more in daydreaming and where I could have a ‘correct version’ of reality in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the temptation more and more of imagining ‘corrected’ versions of my reality in my mind’s imagination, as no matter what happened in reality I could always ‘make it right’ in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the temptation to daydreaming as it is ‘so much easier’ than having do actually do something in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to participate in daydreaming instead of being here in reality despite realizing that it never can and never will produce actual results in my world and reality, and that I will always have to ‘come back’ to my world and reality, as I never actually leave it as it’s where I am and I have to come back to take care of my physical needs like requiring to eat and go to the bathroom, etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the corrected versions of reality in my mind not realize that I always imagined the scenarios that took place in my actual life in such a way that I am always ‘in the right’ and the other beings are the ones that are wrong or to blame for how the situation went in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that in the versions of reality I created in my mind I was not considering the other beings at all, but only myself and what I wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if actual reality went the way it did in my mind as everything working out in my favor, that the world would be practically no different than it is now with extensive abuse taking place in the name of self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I could have used my imagination in a supportive way in imagining possibilities as to how I could direct myself and my reality in a way that will manifest a world that’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the more time I spend in my mind creating these scenarios, the more I am accepting that I can’t or won’t take action in the actual reality, accepting myself as limited and accepting my world and reality as it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by using daydreaming as a coping mechanism, I was actually using it to assist myself to be able to accept my reality as it is, as it kept me entertained despite my world and reality being basically doing the same thing day in and day out, as is the reality for most people within the current system where we’re accepting and allowing ourselves to exist as wage slaves that work the same repetitive consumerism-based job day after day and use whatever methods of entertainment we can afford to not get ‘bored to death’ – instead of realizing that we can stand up for a new system where we are not enslaved and can actually live life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that spending time in my mind daydreaming in fantasies that I’m not actually experiencing is a waste of my time that I have here where I could be having real experiences and actually living my life, and grow and expand myself to have an impact on this world in changing reality into a reality that I would actually like to be in and not be tempted to ‘escape’ from within my imagination in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the energy it takes to actually be living in two realities, the one in real physical reality and the make-believe reality I created in my mind, and trying to keep them separate so I do not get confused as to what has actually happened in my world and reality, and what was only the fantasy that I created in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would be able to have these two worlds and not have the fantasy in my mind affect how I live and act in actual reality, when one result was that I frequently would experience frustration when reality did not match the fantasy in my mind of how I would like my reality to be, and thus by living in these two worlds I was causing myself a lot of inner turmoil and stress that takes its toll on the human physical body, and thus literally killing my body, which gives me the ability to live and exist here in the physical real reality, which when I die I will no longer be able to participate in either reality, the real or imagined, as I’ll no longer have a mind consciousness system infused within and utilizing the resources of a human physical body in which to even have an imagination.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go through my life as a virtual zombie, where I just walked through my daily reality, not really here, but always entertaining myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the more I accepted myself as not able to really be or do anything in my reality and just went into my mind into fantasies instead, the more I was actually creating that as a reality as I was not developing an effective relationship with myself and taking the time and effort and assisting myself to do or become more, but simply accepting myself as more and more diminished and incapable and so that was what I was actually manifesting within that acceptance and allowance of internal conversations that would say things like ‘this is all you’ll ever be/do’, and just accepting that voice and giving in, and seeing fantasy and daydream as the only apparent alternative.

I commit myself to not accepting myself as not able to or not wanting to actually get to know myself here and develop myself in reality so that I can become an effective participant, and really actually live my life and direct myself into a being that stand for what is best for life.

I commit myself to being aware of when I participate or am about to participate in daydreaming in attempting to fabricate a ‘better’ ‘corrected’ version of reality in my mind in order that I can feel like I am in the right when I am disappointed with how something has gone in my reality, and instead remaining here and utilizing such a moment to see how and where I can correct myself and my reality, so that I will not be tempted anymore to avoid it, as I will have expanded myself and my ability to participate in my reality and no longer placing myself as a ‘hapless victim’ to my world and reality with no apparent ability to effectively direct myself and my reality.

I commit myself to stop creating realities in my mind that are in my self interest only, as it is no different than actually living those behaviors in reality from the perspective that what I am supporting to exist in my mind is who I am accepting and allowing myself to be and it will carry through in my words and deeds and so affect my world and reality, as can already be seen by how the human is predominantly existing as and within a starting point of self interest and manifesting a world full of  abuse.

I commit myself to no longer being a Daydreaming Zombie but a being that is fully Here that live and express myself in reality and does not waste time and energy at the expense of my physical human body in mind-illusion fantasies.