Here I’ll walk the Practical Application of Self Forgiveness and Commitment Statements to assist and support with identifying when/as self is going into/activating this character, to instead take self responsibility and self direction to not give directive control over to a Thought, but to remain here stable as the breath as who I am, to in fact be living for real as a real being, and no longer participate in/be ‘subject’ to a pattern of behavior where I am not here as myself, but living in relation to a thought in my mind which isn’t real, and only serves the purpose to create conflict as friction within myself to, from that friction, generate energy for the mind to feed off of.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop the habit of participating in this character of waiting for Validation/Approval, wherein I sabotage myself from realizing myself as and living as the whole, complete being that I am here that is not lacking in any ‘value’ or ‘worth’, but to at a single thought, accept and believe the idea/perception that I must seek/receive validation/worth/approval from others in how they react/act toward me, within this not considering how I am actually desiring for others to act a certain way toward me, and that I then within this character, gear my actions/behaviors toward trying to get/gain approval from another, which is actually me trying/attempting to manipulate another to act how I want/desire them to act, which is not how I’d like to be treated myself, as I would not actually like others to be attempting to manipulate me into the behavior that they believe/think they want/need/ me to act toward them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize that in the moment that thought arise in my mind that I actually have a decision - to follow that thought and allow myself to be directed and controlled by a picture in my mind, or to remain here as myself and so be able to interact with another as myself as who I really am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this one thought to take me into my mind where I completely compromise myself by allowing this thought to become the directive principle of me and thus rob myself of an opportunity to be here as myself, interacting with another being and actually getting to know another being, as I’m instead only interacting with/as a thought in my mind.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself have the thought/similar thought when facing meeting someone for the first time or interacting with another in general, wherein a picture comes up in my mind of another person not liking me and treating me in what I’ve defined as a ‘negative’ way and/or when and as a picture comes up in my mind of another liking me and treating me in what I’ve defined as a ‘positive’ way, I stop and breathe and stabilize myself here, and focus on myself here as the physical, physically here with another being. As I realize that to follow the thought will lead to me missing out on the opportunity to interact with another being as who they are here and as myself here and will become that thought to the extent that it will take over my very behaviors where all I exist as in that moment will be the point of seeking approval/validation from that person, and thus only feeding the mind while missing out on actual reality and actual living.
A pattern I’ve noticed myself playing out is one in which I am waiting for others to value me. Where, when I meet someone for the first time, I will wait within myself for some sort of initial reaction the person will have toward me, what they say, how they say it, how they move, how they look at me, if they pull a face, and from this will decide whether it seems like the person likes and respects me, or doesn’t like and respect me, and from here form an entire expectation of how this person is going to treat me, and how our interaction is going to go, whether it is going to be a ‘positive’ interaction, or not.
So what happens is I go into an observer mode where I’m busy observing the other person and how they are acting toward me, and then within this, taking my observations of how they act and forming ideas of what they must think of me, whether or not they like me, or will be nice/rude to me, basically taking everything they do/express personally as if it is a reaction to/toward me / something I’ve done/said /toward what I look like, etc. There is a really great interview on Eqafe that describes in detail this point very well – the point of taking things personally. Listen if you haven’t already, you can get it here: Life Review - The 'Taking this Personally' Victim
So from this initial ‘reaction to me’, which is rather my initial observation of the other person and what they’re doing, I take the observations personally, when I have actually in fact no idea why the person is acting the way they are and if it has anything to do with me at all. And even if they are reacting ‘toward me’, it still has nothing to do with me really, but they are reacting toward what I represent to them within their mind’s eye. This becomes clear when one observes one’s own reactions, one will find that it’s always a reaction that originates from oneself, from one’s own mind of preprogrammed automated reactions to/toward things in one’s reality/environment that one has accepted a judgment toward within oneself, and the person you’re reacting toward, was only the trigger point as they represented something to you that your mind has stored a certain reaction/response toward that you will then go into when you encounter someone that trigger that response. And thus a reaction is never actually ‘personal’, as it’s always based in an individual’s mind as the relationships of energy as judgment that one has formed and stored in one’s mind toward that which is here as the various forms/manifestations/scenarios/situations/events/people that exist.
So within this pattern/character, I ‘wait’ for the other to apparently decide if they’re going to like me or not, or to see how they’re going to react/act toward me, if they’re going to see me as ‘worthy’ of respect, and so within all this, what I’ve done is separate myself from ‘worth’ ‘respect’ ‘value’, where I'm waiting for another to value me, and what I’m actually saying is that I don’t value myself. That I see myself as not having value or worth in the first place, and that I must wait for another to act in such a way as I perceive that they value me, and all I can do is ‘hope’ they will like/value/respect me.
In the post to come we’ll take a look at the various Dimensions of the Waiting for Validation character, and how it is I’ve separated myself from ‘worth’ ‘value’ and ‘respect’, that I believe I can find it in another and can’t live it for myself. Suggest for context on Character Dimensions to read the following Heaven’s Journey to Life blog posts:
