Day 84: Self Forgiveness on the “There’s Nothing Wrong with That” Character

Featured Art by Anna Brix Thomsen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character as a defense mechanism to avoid investigating myself and the relationships I’m living as toward a particular form/manifestation/circumstance/situation/event/scenario/being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I go into this character in a situation where I ‘perceive’ another to be judging something or myself, and within that not questioning this perception and not realizing that a perception is always only a perception, and since a perception has to be created, in separation of reality, means that I have deliberately created the perception in my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I participate in a perception, where I then base my actions on what I am perceiving, that I am in fact validating that perception, and thus I am the one actually creating it, by living according to/as it, thus I am actually acting as my own self-fulfilling prophecy and alternate reality generator, wherein I create the alternate reality within my mind as a perception of reality, and then act as it thus ‘giving it life’ so to speak, and thus living as a perception and not as myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the relationships I exist as, and to not realize that they are not who I am, that they are only associations I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, that I did not create in absolute self-directed awareness, and within this, not realizing the consequence of forming/participating in/living as such relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this character to become so automated, that it could activate without me even being aware of what was going on within myself as the avoidance of self investigation and self responsibility, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the deliberate decision to not see/face/be aware of who I am to become so completely accepted that I could in a moment not even see what I was actually participating in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop and create characters for the purpose of avoiding self investigation and self responsibility, and to not realize the consequence of this is self limitation, wherein I separate myself from myself where I do not even know myself and by avoiding self responsibility, I give away my ability to respond in this world and reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider and investigate what the real effect/consequence of participating in a particular character is, or to not have even considered that I was acting/living as a character and not as myself, as I believed myself to actually be the characters that I developed and lived as, not considering that if a character is made up then it can’t be who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself as my physical to react in tension and stiffening when I experience the perception that I may lose something that I want/need/desire, within this not considering/caring about the harm that I’m deliberately allowing to take place within my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must first clear up the relationships in myself to be sure that I am not creating perceptions, so that I can ensure that I am living in/according to actual reality, so that who I am is relevant, and not caught in some alternate reality.

Day 76: Commitment Statements on the ‘I Don’t Know What/How to Write’ Character

I commit myself to realize that the thoughts that come up in my mind as the picture of me failing to write effectively is not ever real, and thus I commit myself to stop participating in and living as the ‘I don’t know how/what to write’ character.

I commit myself to realize that when I believe in the picture illusion as real that I remove myself from reality as I’m only acting according to a ‘perception’ which is not actual reality, and thus I commit myself to recognize when I am accepting pictures/images in my mind that comes from memories/past experiences to shape my view of reality, so that I can stop believing in a picture that isn’t real, and see directly actual reality here.

I commit myself to realize that a picture is always just a picture, regardless if it ‘seems real’ or how much I believe it, a picture is a picture and not reality.

I commit myself to realize that believing in pictures is enslaving myself to my mind as I am allowing myself to be completely directed by the pictures my mind is showing me, where I allow the mind to direct me using pictures of positive/negative experiences and just like a robot can be steered according to these negative pictures/positive pictures, where I’ll seek out the picture as the experience I’ve defined as ‘positive’ and avoid the experience I’ve defined as negative, where within this there is no self directive principle as I’m not in control of myself but am enslaved to pictures.

I commit myself to realize what's going on when I participate in this character of 'not knowing how to write' is that I'm actually accepting and allowing myself to be/remain limited in ensuring that I don't take the actions that would lead me to expand myself in my ability to write, and thus I commit myself to taking the actions that lead to me expanding myself.

I commit myself to realize that the positive and negative feelings I've attached toward the picture/image thought of failing to write something, are not real and are actually self manipulation where I create positive/negative feeling experiences within myself to manipulate my behavior and to determine the choices I make, and thus I commit myself to find and identify all the positive/negative feelings I have attached to pictures/thoughts so that I can see exactly how/where I manipulate myself, and stop.

I commit myself to realize that I do not require to know how to write something before I've written it, as it requires an actual process walked in the physical of actually placing words in the physical within a structure and sequence, and thus I commit myself to 'getout of my head' as wanting to have 'prior knowledge' of how to do something, and realize that you can't 'know how to do something', you have to actually walk it in the physical, and thus if I'm always waiting to do something to first 'know' how to do it, then I will never do anything, and thus this 'wanting/needing to know' is actually a trap where I keep myself from actually doing anything and moving and walking in expansion of myself and my abilities.

I commit myself to stop abusing the physical through participation in the 'I don't know how/what to write' character, within the stress and tension that I cause within my physical body from the thoughts/emotions/feelings that I participate in as this character.

I commit myself to utilize the thoughts that come up in my mind as tools that are showing me exactly how/where I've subjugated myself to my mind, by allowing myself to be directed and manipulated by images/pictures as the thoughts that come up in my mind, so that I can stop all participation in self manipulation through participation in characters whose purpose is to generate energetic feeling experiences within myself at the expense of the physical, and rather live here as an actual real being that is not subject to pictures and preprogrammed predesigned reactions to pictures based on memories, which aren't who I really am, because life isn't a memory.

Day 35 - The Obvious Secret of Consciousness

Day 35 - For context listen to the interview Reptilians – The Obvious Secret – Reality or Illusion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I require thoughts to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is consciousness, not realizing that it is a system existing within me and thus it is not actually me, but it is a system within me which I have abdicated myself to and allow to direct me in my stead.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and fear that if I stop thinking that I will die or cease to exist or lose myself, when in actuality I will begin to exist as actual life here, rather than just the thoughts that are created and generated by and within my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I stop my thoughts the only thing I will lose is those thoughts, and then I will be here as myself without preprogrammed thoughts directing me, silent inside able to move and direct myself, and become more aware of what I’ve been missing in the physical reality that I have been distracted from by always being in my mind within thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I accept who I am as the thoughts that run around in my head and allow those thoughts to direct me, then what does it imply that I am not even aware of those thoughts, that I am not a self directed individual in control of myself and my actions, but am a mind-controlled robot subject to the fluctuations of my preprogrammed mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I have not actually really been here experiencing, seeing, hearing actual reality, as I have been my whole life distracted by the noise in my head as the constant and continuous thoughts running.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the more I give permission to my thoughts that the more control I give my mind over me, within separating myself from my mind system and allowing thoughts to direct me, instead of standing equal to and as my mind within getting an understanding and awareness of how my mind functions as the patterns and behaviors I have been programmed with so that the mind no longer directs me in separation but I can direct myself and my mind in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that every second I spend off in my mind is a wasted moment where I have missed actually reality that I can never get back, as you only get so many breaths in this life, and thus I should make the most of each and every single breath I have and make everybreath count where I within every breath move myself to expand and grow so that I can have an impact in this world and reality and ensure that who I am is actually a benefit to all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not aware of how my mind functions when my mind is what is controlling my very behavior, that I am actually a slave to my mind as I do not understand how it functions, how it is directing me, and manifesting consequences and play-outs in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if my thoughts just pop up in my mind as if out of nowhere, that I am not in control of myself but am at the whim of my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my beingness exists only in my head region, ignoring that I am actually here within my total physical body, and that actual self movement comes from the chest area, and what is going on inside the head region is thoughts being generated by and through my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am is not a system within me, but I am the being within the human physical body and my mind consciousness system, and since I am here within the human physical body and mind consciousness system implies that I am in fact responsible for my human physical body and my mind consciousness system, in getting an understanding and awareness of how they operate so that I can utilize what is here as myself in a way that result in what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I have actually designed my own mind consciousness system throughout my life according to my acceptances and allowances, within the thoughts that I decided to participate in and exist as.

To not consider that if I would not actually want what really goes on in my secret mind to be exposed, that indicates that the nature of my secret mind as the thoughts and backchat I allow and give attention to is really nasty and evil, and should not in any condition be accepted and allowed by me to exist within me.

I commit myself to realizing the insignificance of thoughts, within simply looking at what is the result from participation in thoughts is that they produce no result in the physical, and that only participation in and as the physical is what matters as what takes place in matter and substance, whereas thoughts are just information energy threads with no real substance.

I commit myself to walking the daily process of getting an understanding of how my mind operates so that I stand equal to and as my mind and in equality and oneness can direct myself and my mind as myself within what is best for all.

I commit myself to not accepting and allowing the nastiness of backchat to exist within me.

I commit myself to realizing that who I am is not my thoughts and that I can actually only really live if I stop participation in thoughts, for as long as I am participating in thoughts, I am not really here in reality, not really living, but missing out and squandering this opportunity that I have as a physical being here with a limited number of breaths.

Day 20 - We are The Living Dead

For context watch part 1 of the documentary series The Living Dead & listen to the interview Life Review - the Strategic Soldier

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that the stories of history have been manipulated by the winners in history to make the winners always seem right and good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the winner as good/right when there is nothing good/right about war/fighting/competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the stories and mythologies of the past have been and are used to manipulate people based on memories and feelings to spur people to certain actions against one another, where based on something that is seen as positive as ‘pride for one’s country’ one will justify to maim and kill another from another country, even though we are all equal as humans on this earth and ‘country’ is should be just a location as that is what it actually is, not a reason to separate from each other and cause harm to another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like one ‘belongs to something special’ and thus is ‘special’, because of one’s past as one’s history, irrelevant to who one actually is here now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I could be made to feel ‘special’ based on memories and pictures, that this indicates that I was actually feeling inferior in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that if I am feeling inferior, that the solution is not in memories and feelings, as those are just experiences and mirages that have nothing to do with who I actually am in reality, and thus memories and feelings cannot make me ‘more’ than who I am here, but can only make me ‘feel’ that way, and thus I delude myself to reality, and to actually face and deal with the feelings of inferiority, which I cause within myself, by judging myself for not living to my fullest potential, instead of simply living to my fullest potential and expanding myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what goes on in war as the brutal killing of each other, shows that this is not a world of common sense or reason, as it simply does not make sense to be engaged in an activity where we actually are killing another human being, as when we see them lying there dead, we realize that they are the same as me, and I would not want to be killed and suffer that way, so why are we allowing this to exist?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see or realize that the messages and pictures shown to us in and around war times such as video footage has been constructed in such a way to make one’s own country look like ‘the good guy’ and the other country ‘the bad guy’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how we as individuals do this on a personal level wherein we’ll deliberately lie and manipulate information make ourselves look good in a situation and the other look bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that the ‘enemy’ is always made to look bad in order to make one’s own country and what one’s own government/military is doing to not look as bad in comparison.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bury’ what has happened in the past in order that it can be forgotten, to try to pretend it never happened because I don’t want to face what I have become/have done, and in an attempt to protect my image, when actually the way to ensure that I have the best ‘image’ would be to not waste time trying to control an image of myself, and actually live what it is I want to be perceived as, and thus it wouldn't be an 'image' and I would not be a fake trying to present and live as an image, but a real being with integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that to stand for and support ‘my country’ means that I am not standing for and supporting the whole of humanity as one, and thus I am participating in separating ourselves into teams that are in competition with each other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that human nature is what we accept and allow it to be and thus why/how we are actually able to program humans to enjoy violence and harm, and thus we are responsible for the abuse and harm in the world as we have accepted and allowed ourselves to program ourselves and to enjoy causing harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is no winner in war, there is no right side, as the fact that war exists indicates that we are accepting allowing extensive abuse to take place and exist in the world which we all exist in, that any of us could find ourselves on the ‘losing side’ of, and thus to actually win, would mean that no war or abuse exists anywhere.

I commit myself to realizing that war is the result of not considering all ‘sides’ equally, as when one is left out, they must ‘fight for themself’, their ‘right’, their survival, thus, by not considering the other equal to ourself, we create conflict.

I commit myself to see and identify when I am participating in this behavior/mind set where when I ‘perceive’ a threat to my interest, where I feel that ‘I must look out for myself as my interest is not being considered here’ mindset, wherein I’m seeing the other person as only considering themself, and thus fear that I will be taken advantage of if I don’t ‘stand up and fight for my own interest’, and stopping participation. 

I commit myself to realizing that when we stick to practicality in doing what is best for all in any given situation, there is nothing to fear, nothing to defend, as when a decision requires to be made, you simply look at the situation and see what the best solution is for all, and implement that solution, and within this you are considered equally to everyone else, thus you will not be compromised nor will you compromise anyone.