Day 78: Self Forgiveness for the “I Can Do It” Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and believe in the picture that comes up in my mind of me not being able to do something, and then as a response/reaction to this picture, to have created and go into the “I Can Do It” character, wherein I’m trying to convince myself that ‘I can do it’, which is only an illusion in my mind as it’s not based on actual reality that I have lived/am living as who I am here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the picture of me failing to do something is only a picture in my mind, and not actual reality, and thus when I believe in the picture I’m believing in an illusion, the consequence of which is that I then become an illusion as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that shaping myself as a picture in my mind, is not changing me as who I am in actual reality, and thus to participate and believe in the pictures I see in my mind, is a waste of time, as instead of taking action in the physical reality to actually change and expand myself, I am only busying myself with pictures in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in the moment the picture of me failing comes up, to instantly believe in it, and then to think that the only solution is by creating a character to superimpose on myself of that I ‘can do it’, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that what I was doing was attempting to ‘cover up’ the reality that I saw as the picture in my mind that I believed with yet another picture illusion, and thus I was staying completely within the realm of pictures, within the fantasy-land of the mind, and not actually here, never actually really dealing with myself as who I actually am and what I’m living as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the picture that came up within my mind of me failing to do something, which I used this internal conversation to convince and talk myself into going into the character of ‘I can do it’, using backchat such as ‘oh god, what if I can’t do this’, ‘that’s just not an option’, ‘I have to do this’, ‘I must not fail at this’, within this internal conversation giving myself no other option than to pretend that ‘I can do it’, instead of seeing/realizing that the picture and belief that I am going to fail isn’t real in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how this shows just how much we’re controlled by pictures within our mind, as we’ll completely allow ourselves to be directed by the pictures that come up, instantaneously believing in them as valid and real, and having complete reactionary experiences based off of them, completely removing ourself from reality, and so have we ever really been here if we’ve always been believing in and living according to the pictures in our mind?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by changing the picture that I see in my mind that I am actually somehow changing myself and how I experience myself, and within this not realizing that if we are living as the pictures in our minds, then we are living in ignorance of our actual effect on reality in what we’re actually creating in actual reality, as we’re only busy with the pictures in our mind.

  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must appear to be able to do something, within this not realizing that I am living within the fear of survival and am allowing this fear to control/direct my behavior, instead of me moving myself here, in common sense consideration of the current state of reality and what actions may be best to take in a given situation, where because I am living as a reaction to this fear, I am not free to take everything into consideration, as for the moment who I am becomes this fear and the associated reactions, and that is all I can think/say/do/act within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a positive reaction when I participate in the 'I can do it' character and then I succeed at what it is I am attempting to do, and then to take this as validation for participating in this character, because I have apparently succeeded due to living as this character, and not considering that it was the actions I took in the physical and how I applied myself in the physical that determined whether I succeeded or not, and not the character I was participating in, as the character isn't actually real, existing in substance, but is only an idea in mind, and within this, to ignore the times where I did not succeed when living as this character, so that I can believe that participating in this character is beneficial to me and continue to remain trapped  within predesigned, preprogrammed fictional characters.

Day 39 - Self-Forgiveness on the Design of ‘Love’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word ‘love’ as defined by/within relationships of separation, wherein I am separating myself from all other beings as me, into a relationship with only one other being, excluding and disregarding all the rest of existence, and entering into a relationship where I am now only focusing on the other being, wherein they as the relationship have become my entire world and the rest of the world I literally ‘shut-out’ where it becomes ‘us sticking together, no matter what is going on in the world’ where ‘the world can go to hell as long as we have each other’ and so on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the effect I have had on others in my world within uttering the word love, with all the programming and symbolism I have attached to that word, within ideas, pictures, words, memories, beliefs, feelings, emotions, thoughts, and to not realize that when speaking that word that everything I have attached to my definition of love resonates when I speak that word and activates ideas, pictures, words, memories,  beliefs, feelings, emotions, thoughts in the other beings I am speaking to, and thus supporting the mind consciousness system within activating it so it can create energy within the being to feed off of, as the mind consciousness system requires energy to continue to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that relationships served the function to support mind consciousness systems to exist because the mind consciousness system requires relationships from which to create friction in order to generate the energy it requires to survive, and it is ‘love’ is the word that is used to connect two beings together within relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that I am seeking and searching for ‘love’ because I, as a mind consciousness system, am looking for another being, as a mind consciousness system, to have a relationship with, because I, as a mind consciousness system, cannot exist without relationship. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that love as a system design that supports us to separate from the world and go into relationships is the primary design through which we accept and allow the abuse that takes place in the world to continue without caring even one iota of the suffering that is taking place to millions others, because within a relationship we have decided to care for this one other person only, and disregard all others, and thus love is the ultimate evil in this world.

I commit myself to consider what actual love would be and that it would not be hiding myself from and cutting myself off from the rest of the world and my responsibility as a participant in this world and world system.

I commit myself to take responsibility for how I have lived ‘love’, and expose the true nature of the design of love which is evil as it serve to distract one from the entire rest of this world and existence, and so diminishing self and all of existence, one and equal.

I commit myself to no longer participate in relationships as hiding from the world and diminishing self another within accepting each other as limited only to the relationship as the primary focus and entertainment of each other’s lives, but to redefine relationships in such a way that my relationships stand as what is best for all, within supporting each other to grow and expand and be an active self responsible participant in this world that actually has an impact that is a benefit to all life.