Day 69: Self Forgiveness on the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the ‘Fear of Failure’ Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that it is only a thought that comes up that I accept so immediately that I do not even notice the thought, and immediately go into the specific play-out once the character has been activated.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is a thought, and to not consider that if who I am is directed and controlled by a thought, then I am not really here as myself, as I’m being directed by something in separation from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the thought/belief that I will fail, within this not considering how can I know that I will fail before I have even tried.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in this thought and believe it, that I will then actually manifest the failure myself, as I’ve already decided and accepted within myself that I am going to fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchat in relation to the thought I accepted, within this not realizing that this internal conversation was me reinforcing my belief in the thought and actually manifesting my own failure by actually literally talking myself into it, within the very words I allowed myself to speak within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘what is the point if I’m just going to fail’, and not realize that within this I have assumed/taken for granted that I will/am going to fail, and then to use this assumption/projection as an excuse to then not even try. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not yet effective at something, then I am certainly not going to get more effective by not doing it and walking the practical process that it takes to learn how to do something effectively, and thus the logic that there is ‘no point’ if I am ‘going to fail’ is completely backwards, as ‘failure’ or a miss-take, would simply indicate that I require to consider how to realign myself to the task at hand to be more effective in my approach, or to determine whether it is something I actually can’t do, and to then let it go completely to focus on what I can do, so that within this, my focus is always on how to be/become more effective in whatever way possible, and not sabotaging myself by holding myself back within a belief/assumption that I can’t do something and that I will fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Man, I don’t want to go through that’, within this, not realizing that what it is that I am saying I ‘don’t want to go through’ is how I will experience myself within myself to/toward a certain situation, in this case ‘failure’ as how I’ve formed a relationship to this word, wherein I take it ‘personally’ and create an experience within myself when I have ‘failed’, wherein I will experience depression, self pity, sadness, anger, rage, disappointment in myself, and it is actually these feelings/emotions that experience in reaction to ‘failure’ that I am wanting to avoid/not go through, by not even trying. Thus the solution is not to stop trying in an attempt to avoid the situation that would trigger this reaction, but rather to stop allowing this experience within myself, toward ‘failure’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat ‘Why do I always fail?’ within this not realizing that I do not actually always fail, that I am just seeing it this way within my mind in order to manipulate myself to have an energetic experience, in order to distract myself from actually applying myself here, within this not realizing how the mind distort reality which indicates that the mind cannot be trusted as it will lead to self deception and patterns that support self limitation in separating oneself from reality into a world of make-believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore how I have been mind controlled by a single thought, where just from believing in and participating in a single thought, an entire pattern of physical behaviors, backchat internal conversations and emotion/feeling experiences is activated which I am not actually directing, and thus I am actually allowing myself to be a mind possessed zombie that is not actually here and not actually living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that by giving in to the thought of failure and becoming the ‘fear of failure’ character, I am accepting self limitation, and thus sabotaging myself to not grow/expand/develop into my fullest potential and be a real being here.