Day 62: The 'It's Not Fair!' Character

Having a look at the ‘It’s Not Fair!’ Character-

When I participate in this character is where I’m actually scheming for myself in my own self interest. It comes up where I’ve decided that I don’t want to do whatever it is that I’m faced to do, and so my mind starts coming up with excuses as to why I don’t/shouldn’t have to do it.

The thought patterns specific to this character will be where your mind places what you’re about to do as a negative, which you then want to avoid, and there will always be a positive, to then hook you in to the mind’s interpretation of the situation. So, for example what I noticed in investigating myself is when I would see someone leaving work early, is there is an immediate thought wherein you have accepted ‘working’ as negative, and thus when you see someone else not having to work anymore, a picture of myself not having to work anymore comes up, which I’ve defined within my mind as positive.

Now my behavior becomes controlled by these judgments within my mind as what is positive/negative, where I will now attempt/try to seek out/achieve the positive, and avoid the negative. Thus within this, I’ve become a slave to this negative/positive thought pattern, and now my behavior will be controlled and directed by/within my mind from within this superimposed perspective of seeing what is here as negative/positive. Thus, I’m then not free to do what is here to be done in the moment, and act in a way which will lead to a more effective reality for myself and for everyone, as I’m busy within an illusion of self interest, wherein the mind has decided for me, what it is I want/don’t want to do. And what I’ve noticed, within this, is that the mind will always decide that I don’t want to do that which will actually expand me into my world and reality, but rather will support that which will keep me limited and diminished and having no tangible effect on this reality, on the whole or in my immediate environment.

The specific internal backchats/conversations that I’d participate in within my mind as the Character of ‘It’s Not Fair’ always involves comparison – ‘they got to do this so why don’t I’, and keeping score, ‘well I did the laundry, but then they mowed the lawn, but I mopped the floor, but they washed the dishes, but I..’ ‘Wait why do they get to go early? I want to go early too’ – so what I hadn’t realized is that I’m actually saying that ‘they’ shouldn’t get what it is that I also want – which is the same as saying that I can’t have it either, because I am saying that one shouldn’t leave early, yet for example, say there is something they must go take care of, so what happens then when I find myself in the same situation, where there is something I must go take care of, but because I said that no one must leave early, now I can’t leave early either, when it would actually be a benefit to me and thus I have robbed myself of the ability and freedom to do what is practical in the moment because of an idea I had about fairness, wherein I looked at another being, and saw ‘hey why are they getting something different than me’, because I did not happen to be in that situation in that moment, it was happening to ‘someone else’ and thus I separated myself from the other being and from the situation, and instead of considering what would be best to do/have happen if I were on the side of the situation they were on. Thus, within wanting to leave work early without an actual necessity or practical reason, I am now trying to actually manipulate for self interest, and not what is actually practical in the moment, so actually I are the one that is trying to ‘take advantage’ of the situation, by saying ‘hey look what they are getting, I want that too’, when I don’t actually need that in the moment, it is exactly like seeing someone eating a candy bar and now I want to eat one too, when I wasn’t even thinking about it before I saw them eating a candy bar, so did I really want it, or was the desire triggered by a picture, and thus not actually real, not me as the physical saying I’d like a candy bar now, but me as a mind triggered response to a picture.

Thus what I’ve realized is that by participating in this character, I am actually accepting self limitation, within accepting the mind’s judgments that ‘this is not what I want to do’, and thus limiting what it is that I do in this world. And accepting myself as a slave to my mind’s control, wherein I am not practically evaluating a situation and what is necessary and most effective to be done, because if that were the case, then the idea of wanting to leave work early would not have come only as a reaction to seeing another leave early, but would have been relevant to what needs to be done in reality.

Within this not seeing the underlying judgment, which is that ‘work is negative’, rather than realizing that ‘work’ is simply myself expressing myself as a physical being in this reality in doing physical actions to understand how it is possible to manifest and shape what is here as myself as substance, to expand myself as/within my world and reality and to actually for once ‘evolve’ as humanity to discover what we are truly capable of in this physical reality, and thus any resistance to moving myself and taking action in this world is a lie and is not who I am but is the mind attempting to keep me enslaved.

I commit myself to investigating my relationship of separation that I’ve developed toward ‘work/working’ wherein I have defined it as something ‘negative/I don’t want to do’, so that I can then redefine my relationship toward ‘working’ into self expression as myself performing actions in the physical and to ensure that I stop any and all resistance toward actually expanding myself into and as this physical reality, to no longer be a slave to mind accepting and allowing myself to participate in self limitation for apparent self interest, when it actually only serves the interest of the mind, where I am the mind’s slave to never realize myself as the physical but continue existing only to generate energy for the mind by forming relationship of positive/negative to what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not place myself on the ‘other’s’ side of the equation, to realize that what I am accepting/allowing/creating for another, I also am creating for myself if I were to find myself in that position.

I commit myself to always put myself on all sides of the equation in every situation, as the actual key to make sure that the decisions I make are that which stand for what is best for all no matter what position one find themselves in, which means that I have also ensured that I as an individual will also always be in the best position possible, as I have made sure that the only positions that exist are those that are best, within actually considering all equally as myself and not accepting and allowing abuse to exist anywhere.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my mind’s interpretations of what is here as positive/negative is real and valid, not realizing the actual purpose such judgments serves, to keep me mind controlled so that I will accept, justify and defend self limitation, at the expense of my own life and expansion, and of all of existence within not standing up to live to my fullest potential, and thus not living a satisfying life for myself, or doing my part as my response-ability as I am here, to grow and expand this reality as one and equal with/to myself.

I commit myself to realizing that positive/negative judgment is a trap which when I accept these judgments as valid, I accept self limitation, that keeps me from growing and expanding, and that I am thus responsible for the current state of reality and humanity as I have accepted and allowed limitation in myself and stood as the example for all others that the judgments of the mind are valid and thus I have supported all to accept self limitations and thus I am responsible for humanity current limited state.

Thus, I commit myself to show that participation in thoughts is to accept self enslavement to the mind and to accept oneself to be limited in one’s participation in reality and in one’s life, and that it is through all of us living as the judgments of the mind that we manifest the world as it is as a world of limitation and suffering.