So, in this post I'm continuing from
the 'Seeing Ourselves' series, continuing from these previous posts:
Here I want to share about a specific
point that we can start to focus on becoming aware of, a point that
we typically don't yet see that we do. That is, taking things
personally.
Did you know that when you take
something personally, you are actually 'making it personal'? What?
Here I would refer you to the
interviews from Eqafe from the Reptilians series:
I just recently listened to these interviews, and thought this would be a great point to bring up from this series, as this is a really prominent point that we are participating in but don't tend to see it. I know this because I have my own process to refer to, where I was completely oblivious to this myself. I mean, if you had told me some years ago that if I take something personally it is actually me making it personal, I just would have blinked at you in disbelief and just not understanding what the heck you're talking about.
But this is really something we do all the time. Reacting to things others say to us, and then having backchat pop up in our minds about what did that mean, why did they do that, etc. Perhaps the most extreme example of this would be the violence that sometimes occurs where a person attacks another because 'he looked at me funny'.
I'm sure you have had conversations in which you or someone talking to you is discussing some event that happened with another person and analyzing the other person's actions/words/behavior and placing an interpretation on what they meant by this or that. When really, if we look at it, do we actually have a complete understanding of that being's life, their personality, their entire mind, what their whole life has been like or even what their day has been like, to even have a clue what is really going on within how they are particularly expressing themselves in a particular moment in a certain way? No.
We can therefore be certain then that if we are coming to conclusions in our mind without understanding the totality of their being (which of course we don't) about why they apparently acted as they did, that interpretation obviously can't be trusted.
Have you ever been misinterpreted? Surely all of us have in some moment or another, one of those 'that's not what I meant' or 'I didn't mean it like that' moments. From there you can see how this works, which is one of the ways you can use identifying things when others do it, to identify it in yourself. You can see how someone took what you were saying/doing in some interpretation other than what you meant, and this can help you to see that, hmm maybe I do this too.
What you can do in a moment when you have identified that you are reacting to something as if it is personal, or you can even do this with looking back at past moments/memories where you have reacted to someone personally, is you can 'take a step back' and look at the person's expression, and look at your initial interpretation, and consider, is there any other possible explanation for how they were expressing themselves in that moment? And here you can also reference yourself, by looking at have you ever expressed yourself in a similar way, and if so, why? What was going on within you at that time that your expression came out the way it did?
Through applying these points you really get to see how we often are reacting to nothing but our own mind's interpretations, and how this causes so much conflict in our relationships, because we're actually turning our relationships into virtual wars with each other, by always being in a defensive stance in assuming that others are always attacking us. This ties in to the point of how we see each other as enemies which I've shared about in previous posts.
Of course there could be situations where someone is trying to make it personal to you, but even then it is because of there own stuff going on within them, and reacting to it isn't going to help the situation. In fact, by not reacting, you can see what is actually the best course of action in such moments, instead of going into a reaction which could aggravate the situation and cause more consequences.
Another result of applying this is that you gain a more stable foundation of self trust with yourself as you start to sort out reality from the fiction you create in your mind, and really I don't now what is more valuable than an effective relationship with yourself, as every relationship stems from that primary relationship.I definitely suggest if you can to invest in the Reptilians interviews mentioned above. These interviews provide assistance and support with how to see when we're taking things personally by detailing the physical changes/symptoms that we'll experience when we go into that reaction of defense.
You can start anytime to become more aware of this point in your daily life and relationships, and take an active role in growing your awareness, and preventing much consequence in your life and relationships, and even get to know other beings for who they really are, instead of the interpretations in our mind.
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