Day 106: Waiting to Stop Blame: Self Forgiveness


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Wait to stop Blaming within the belief that I don’t have a choice when it comes to blaming someone or something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that whether or not I blame someone for something, depends on/is determined by the circumstances that’s taking place, and is not actually a decision I make myself to act/behave/think a certain way toward/about someone, where I’m using the particular circumstances to justify myself to think/act/react/experience myself a certain way, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore that it’s actually me deciding to go into blame toward another and the circumstances are irrelevant as it is just the excuse/reason/justification I use to go into the reaction of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character of blame within/as me from following the examples I had around me as my parents, other adults, tv, movies, books/stories, music, religion, that present going into blame as ‘normal’ and imply that it’s a reaction that is ‘beyond one’s control’, as it’s determined by specific circumstances, while ignoring the fact that self has to actually give permission to the reaction, and it’s self that becomes and lives the reaction of blame toward another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept going into ‘blame’ as normal and just a part of ‘human nature’ and not realize that we decide what human nature is as we are busy living it, following the same patterns of the generation that came before, and that came before that, and so on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question ‘blame’ and investigate ‘blame’ to see what is the actual outflow/consequence of blame, and does it have a beneficial effect on life or is it in fact a massive part of the problem that keeps us from investigating ourselves and correcting our own individual natures because we’re instead busy pointing a finger at another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate the fear within myself that another is doing something deliberately to harm/spite/take advantage of me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when someone has done something that affects me, not considering the possible reasons why such person acted as they did, which may very well have nothing to do with me, but what is going on in that person’s life/mind/situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I participate in blaming another, it is actually just an excuse to go into particular emotion/feeling/energetic reaction within myself, to feed my mind with energy which it requires to exist, and thus I am living just to feed the mind, and missing out on real living here as myself present and aware, and not possessed by the character of ‘blame’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate and believe in the pictures that come up in my mind as how things ‘would have gone’ if that person hadn’t done what they did or had acted in some other way, and to not see that it’s simply a picture in my mind, and thus not real, which my mind uses to convince me to into this character of blame, to go into an energetic experience to feed the mind energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out scenes in my imagination in which I am making assumptions of why/how the other person has acted where I imagine they may have acted deliberately to spite/harm me, and within this to not realize the fallibility of and the consequence of relying on assumptions that I have literally made up in my mind about another, and not considering if that person was to do the same to me that would not be cool, as they’d be literally judging you in their mind, without actually inquiring as to what the actual situation was, which is exactly what I do when I decide in my imagination what has taken place, when I have no real clue of why this person did what they did, or whether it was deliberate or not, and so judging them according to my imagination which isn’t even real, instead of communicating with them to find out what was actually going on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in internal backchat conversations within myself using words/phrases like “How could they do this to me?” “It’s all their fault” “Why did they do this?” “Didn’t they see how this would harm/disadvantage/cause a negative experience for me?” They must’ve known how what they were doing would effect me and did it anyway!” and to not realize that the purpose of this internal conversation is to convince me to go into the character of blame.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the absolute physical possession that takes place when I go into the character of blame, as my very behaviors/thoughts/ mannerisms/tonality/movement becomes determined by/within the blame character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the consequence of participating in the blame character is that I give away my response ability where instead of looking for solutions to the situation, I go into blame towards another, which is a waste of time because no solutions come from blame, only an energetic personality take-over where I stop being here as myself and instead become the demon of blame, and within this I become exactly what it is I perceived the other to be doing which was to be deliberately spiteful towards me, which is exactly what going into blame is – because it is me decided to be deliberately spiteful towards another by making assumptions and judging them instead of standing equal to that person and treating them how I would like to be treated myself, and standing as an example of considering what is best for all, rather than being the example of spitefulness as blame.
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