Day 189: Why Me THOUGHT Dimension – Every Little Thing ADDS UP

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What I find when I look at the Thought Dimension, the Thought as picture/image/scenario that comes up in my mind, is something along the lines of, for example, images of the events that happened throughout the day or whatever span of time, which are events that I have ‘collected’ in a way, as I went along through my life, through my day, where each event was something that I made something ‘more’ out of. Where it is ‘each little thing’ that I have taken and attached negative feelings to, as ‘something bad that has happened to me’ that adds to my definition of being a victim.

Another dimension to this, is a point of comparison, where I will for example, take all those negative points, and then compare them to how I perceive another’s day/life/time to be going, where I see it as, they haven’t had as many bad things happen to them as I have, and through this can also activate and feed and substantiate this character of Why Me victimhood.

So what it comes down to, is actually always a comparison – it’s either comparing my situation to what I perceive another’s situation to be, or comparing my situation to an idea in my mind of what is ‘good’ and what is ‘bad’ or what is ‘unfair’. I mean, this is how the mind operates through comparison, to generate conflict, to generate energy, to fuel its existence.

Why am I investigating this? Because I’m really not interested in being a slave to my thoughts, being a slave to what is nothing more than an Image in my Mind, an illusion, a fantasy, made up for what? To create an experience within which I keep myself in this state of always being a victim. I mean, WHY would I want to Waste even One Single Breath in such an experience, instead of simply being here, living and breathing and experiencing actual reality, as a present and aware participant that has possession of all my faculties, not the other way around, with my Mind possessing Me.

And therefore I apply the Solution here of writing out this pattern, to see how it operate. Getting into the nitty-gritty of it, like what is the actual thought that come up, so that I have named it, and now it can’t ‘fool me’ again when it come up, I know what the heck is going on, and am not going to participate, as I know what it is, and what it leads to. It’s just a thought which is really just as substantial as a fart, no, not even, and what happens if I follow it is I waste more breaths of my limited amount of breaths that I have in this life, within an experience that isn’t even real, it’s created out of the resources of my human physical body, which didn’t even ask to be used in such a way, and which I didn’t ask permission, I just imposed this on my physical human body at its expense, and without consideration of the consequences.

So here I’ll now walk some Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment statements in relation to the Thought Dimension of this Why Me character/personality:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the Thoughts that come up in my mind, such that I never questioned what they were, where they came from, or what is the consequence of my participation in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how I actually deliberately utilize and follow my thoughts in order to generate an experience within myself, particularly here the experience of being a ‘victim’, and to within this not consider how I am actually a victim of myself of my own decision to participate in my thoughts and victimize myself within such an experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in/validate/give value to the thoughts that come up in my mind, such as the thought of ‘all the bad things’ that have ‘piled up’ in my day/life, as being ‘negative’ or ‘too much’ or ‘more than another has to go through’ or ‘unfair’, and within this to not see that it is just to create a certain perception of my life, so that from that perception I can be entirely controlled and possessed within a definition of myself and my life, purely to generate conflict within myself to feed the mind, and to always be pre-occupied with a mind experience instead of being here, facing reality, taking responsibility, and really living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question how it is that a single thought as an image in my mind could activate an entire character/personality system which then determines how I then experience myself, what I think, what I feel, how I act, which we will get further into the nitty-gritty details of in posts to come in dissecting the Why Me character.
I commit myself to investigate every aspect/dimension of this character, so to ‘take myself back’ from where I have given my ‘power’ away to thoughts.

I commit myself to when and as I see the Thought arise of where I see a picture/image of various things/events that’s happened to me in the past, with negative feeling attached, I stop and breathe and do not allow myself to follow this thought, as I know exactly where it leads = No Where. Which is the same as Not Here.

I commit myself to doing a complete reversal of instead of where I would utilize such thoughts as a tool for self sabotage and limitation, to now utilize such thoughts when/if they come up as a tool to ‘set me free’, as these thoughts are actually showing me what I have allowed myself to exist as, where I have attached negative feelings to events that have happened to me, that they now come up in such a thought as little negative experiences that I have accumulated little by little until it becomes this total ‘reason’ as to why I’m such a ‘victim’ and ‘poor me’, ‘why me’, ‘it isn’t fair’ take-over experience.

Thus, I commit myself to when such thought comes up, look at the specific points that come up within the thought to see what I have attached a negative judgment toward, and to see how I have accumulated these memories throughout my day/my life/over some period of time, so that I can get to see how I am doing that in the moment, to assist and support myself to stop accumulating such points, until it adds up to a total justification of WHY ME, where I utilize all the accumulated points to justify going into the victim character, and sabotage my life in reality.

I commit myself to realizing that there is never any reason to follow a thought as it is just a wild goose-chase to keep me pre-occupied from actual life and living in actual reality.

In the next post in the Why Me series, we’ll take a look at the Imagination Dimension.
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