after death, because I have never been there.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delude myself into thinking that death 'isn't real', despite the fact that people die all the time, and once they are dead, they do no come back, which proves beyond any doubt, that death has a Real and Lasting effect here, as once you die, you are no longer here part of this physical reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think all I have to do is 'get over the fear of death' because who I am is an 'eternal being', not considering that who I have become as a personality I formed and created based on my physical existence here in this physical reality in my physical human body, and thus who I am as a personality will cease to exist once I am no longer a part of this physical reality, and thus, to be a being that can stand eternally, regardless of life or death, means that I must not exist as a personality, thus to actually transcend death requires extensively more than simply 'getting over the fear of death', but that I must first get to know myself as who/what I have designed myself, to see if I have created myself according to principles which can stand for eternity, and realize that if there is even one thing I fear to lose, that who I am is not yet a being that can stand eternally, and that to become a being that stand eternally is going to take a process of at least 7 or more years, as who I have become as a personality was formed over many years, in many layers, and thus must be investigated and deconstructed layer by layer, until I stand clear, and then can begin to recreate myself as a being that live according to principles that stand the test of time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the belief of being an eternal being as a justification to not investigate myself or this physical reality, because 'I'm never going to die anyway', not considering that I do not even have a clue if this is true, or what or how I will exist, if I exist, after death, except that I will no longer be here in my physical body, and thus what do I know, is that once I have died, I will no longer be able to have an effect in this world and it will be too late for me to have an impact on changing this reality into what it should be - a life where all live in dignity, and that if I reach my death and I did not do all that I could, I will be disappointed, but it will be too late.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what is going on in the world, does not have to be 'in my world' - not considering that this is only apparently possible because I am in a position where I am supported by the economic system, where if I wasn't then there would be no way for me to 'avoid' the 'negative' side of the economic system as it would be my reality, as it is for more than two thirds of the world's population, thus the idea that what happens in the world doesn't have to effect you is an elitist day-dream that only a small percent of the world's population can even fall for, for a moment, as they are not yet directly facing the consequences of the current economic system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I have no control in what is happening in the government, means that I cannot have any control or effect in the government and should thus accept this and not take any action, when I actually can become involved in the government and have an impact and affect within the government, thus the justification that 'I have no control over what the government is doing' is not valid, because it is by my non-involvement in the political system that I have no control within the government, because I have effectively avoided politics and not become a part of it, where I can actually have an effect, and thus all I have to do is become an actual part of it, to have an actual effect within the political system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sell to people the idea of feeling good, within a world where there is extensive suffering taking place in each and every moment, instead of exposing what is really going on in the world, so that we can sort out the shit, and manifest a world where all really can feel good, as an actual feeling that is based in the physical actuality of having a dignified life wherein you have access to that which you need to exist and thrive here and are not deliberately deprived for the sake of greed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fact that fear is used to control and manipulate as an excuse to not act at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that being positive is all that is required for the problems in this world to cease.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within this belief, give the impression that positivity is all that is required, when it is actual physical actions that is required, and thus supporting the world and the abuse to remain the same, as no action will be taken to stop it.
I commit myself to walking the 7 year or more journey of self forgiveness and commitment to correction, wherein I deconstruct myself as a personality and rebuild myself as a being that stands the test of time, as a being who lives according to the principle of what is best for all life.
I commit myself to expanding myself in my world and living to my fullest ability here, so that I can have an actual impact on this world, so that when I die I will be satisfied that I did what I could to leave this world better than I found it.
I commit myself to realizing that I do not know if or how I will exist after I die, and thus the reality that actually matters is the physical reality in matter, because I am actually here, and I do know that I can actually have an effect here within my life as a physical being here.
I commit myself to considering that everything here in this world, is in 'my world', as there is actually no separation, as everything is here in this one reality, effecting this reality, and it is only that I am further removed from the consequence that we're manifesting in this world that I can pretend that there is no consequence or that the abuse in the world does not matter because it's not happening to me, even though I am a deliberate part in the cause of such abuse by accepting and allowing an economic system that I participate in every day which does not support everyone equally, and I commit myself to realize that such a system is not designed to last, and thus when it does fail, I will then suffer the consequences, and thus to avoid and ignore the situation is only allowing the inevitable problem to continue, instead of facing the problem and correcting it, and preventing unnecessary suffering and consequence.
I commit myself to becoming involved in the politic system, so that I can take self responsibility to place myself in a position in this world where I can have an impact on what is being accepted and allowed within government systems, instead of accepting that I am powerless which is a result of my deliberate uninvolvement and avoidance of the political system.
I commit myself to facing the problems of the world and finding solutions, and not hiding myself within an experience of 'feeling good', wherein I seek to have a positive feeling experience inside myself, despite what is actually going on in this world, which is actually delusional as deliberate participation in a mind fantasy that does not exist as a reality, and thus I commit myself to doing what it takes to manifest a world where 'feeling good' is not an emotional/feeling experience one has inside themself that is based in energy, but as a physical actuality that is actually lived and experienced by all equally, wherein all are given equal opportunity and ability to 'be happy' in this physical reality, by having access to that which is needed to survive and thrive here in physical reality.
I commit myself to realize that it is actual actions taken in the physical that is required to make change in this world, as it is a physical reality, and thus anything short of physical actions and anything or anyone that promote any form of solution that does not include actual practical action, is no solution and is in fact thus supporting the abuse in the world by allowing it to continue without taking action to stop it.