Day 14: Jealousy - I want what you're living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I participate in jealousy toward another, I am participating in one of the nastiest patterns of behavior that exists, wherein I sabotage not only myself but all others in my world, by living in such a way where I am only considering myself and trying to shape my world into what is best for me, disregarding all others, and disregarding the consequences that I create when I abdicate my self-responsibility and allow myself to be directed by the design of jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that participating in the construct of jealousy actually only serves to trap me in a position of jealousy toward another, as I am not taking any practical action, but am only spending my time and energy participating in thoughts and backchat about what another has that I want, how it isn't fair that they have it and more various backchat depending on the extent to which one participates, where it can become extremely nasty and spiteful, and thus I am only existing as cycling through these thoughts and backchat in my mind, instead of living here and living for myself that which it is I am jealous of another for living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste the time that I have in this life in a state of jealousy, wherein instead of living for myself that which I see another living, I'm wasting time in my mind, where I literally become possessed by thoughts, feelings, and emotions through my continued acceptance and allowance of my participation in such thoughts and experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want another to not have what I don't have, rather than considering how I can live it for myself, or if I cannot live it for myself, to realize then that there is no point to continue focusing on that which is not within my ability, and instead focus on that which is within my ability to actually live as myself, so that I ensure my focus is always on expanding myself in every way possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I am not only harming others within participating in jealousy but that it works both ways, wherein when I attempt to keep others down I am also keeping myself down, as I am accepting my world and those in it as diminished, which means I will not have the examples of others within my world to learn from and explore new ways of expressing myself that I had not before considered, or opening up opportunities for expansion within working together with others, thus within not allowing anyone in my world to expand, I create my world to be not able to assist and support myself to expand as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so possessed by jealousy that it controls and affects my very behaviors as my mannerisms, words, actions, tonalities, wherein what I say and do is from the starting point of manipulating the situation toward an outcome that is best for me, in total disregard of another, or even in deliberate attempt to sabotage another, in the desire to get what I want for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that when I am possessed with jealousy, then I am not here, living and experiencing myself here in the physical reality, but am 'lost' within my mind within thoughts, and thus 'missing out' on life, which will feed my patterns of jealousy, as I am denying myself opportunities in moments to be here living and expanding myself, and thus sabotaging myself, where instead I could in those moments be putting in the time and effort to expand myself and actually live here, and then I would not feel like I am 'missing out' on anything, as I'd be too busy actually living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that if I am not directing my mind to ensure that the patterns I live as are in the best interest of all life here, and assisting and supporting all life, myself included, to develop and expand ourselves, for if I am not the directive principle of my mind, the automated reactions I accept as myself are what I will become and manifest in this world in the image and likeness of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed an economic system which supports jealousy by not giving equal support to all individuals, so that some receive more support to expand themselves in this world, while others are disregarded and not given the same opportunity to exist and thrive here, and within this providing a platform on which jealousy to thrive for those that have not received adequate support towards those that have received more.

I commit myself to not participating in patterns and behaviors of jealousy, and to stop immediately when a thought of jealousy come up and realize that if I decide to participate in such thought that I am sabotaging myself by going into my mind into spitefulness, rather than living and expressing myself here in the physical reality.

I commit myself to realize that when I participate in jealousy I harm myself and everyone within accepting diminishment and limitation, and standing deliberately in the way of the expansion of myself and this existence in it's entirety, thus it is my responsibility to ensure that I do not participate in jealousy, so that I do not manifest a world of limitation and abuse.

I commit myself to live from the starting point of expanding myself and my world, so that I assist and support myself and my world to become the best it can be in all ways.

I commit myself to bringing forth an economic system which is based on equal support for all, so that all have the equal opportunity to exist and thrive here, and none are left out.

I commit myself to living to my fullest in each and every moment, in each and every breath, being present here, so that the the thought or temptation to go into jealousy does not have the opportunity to present itself, as I am already busy living my life and expanding myself here.

I commit myself to ensuring that I am the directive principle of my mind, so that I ensure that the behaviors that I live are directed in such a way that is best for life and that I am in no way accepting abuse or limitation to exist.