|Featured Artwork by Rozelle De Lange|
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when the thought comes up that I might not get My Way, to believe in this thought, instead of realizing that it is just a picture in my mind, which I utilize to trigger a certain set of emotion/feeling/thought/backchat reactions within myself, through which I am creating an entire experience within myself, totally in no relation to reality, and thus creating and going into an ‘alternate reality’ in my mind, in which I fear that I am not going to get My Way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination and actually play out in my mind what might happen if I don’t get my way, as to how and in what ways I might suffer or ‘lose out’ on something, and within this not considering/realizing that I am literally using these made-up scenarios in my mind to convince myself to take action/go to battle/go on the defense/fight for My Way, in attempt to avoid/protect myself from the pictures in my mind which aren’t even real.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this character is who I am, where when this character activates, I have become it totally, within believing that I need/want/must have My Way, and not even realizing/considering that My Way is only an idea in my mind that I am defending, and within this, not realizing that if My Way was the Way that is Best for All, it need no defending whatsoever, as it is common sense what is best, and only that which is not considering all equally would need to be defended/fought for/justified/reasoned as it doesn’t stand in common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form the My Way character as a way to ‘deal with’/’protect myself from’ the fear of my interest not being considered/looked out for/taken care of, due to existing in a world we’ve accepted reality as competition with each other and where we each only consider ourselves and our own, and within this never considering the solution is thus for each and every one to stop considering only oneself and one’s own, in separation of the whole.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/consider that living and existing as the My Way character has never lead to a world where I am actually safe and supported and where my best interest is considered, but that the world has only become increasingly more hostile a place to be, as we drive ourselves further and further into separation and fear toward one another, all in our struggle/fight to ‘look out for ourselves’, cause we’re not simply looking out for ourselves as the whole, equal and one.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fighting for My Way is a behavior that will never produce what it is that I am seeking, which is to have my best interest considered, because I am not living that myself, within considering what’s in all’s best interest, as how can I expect anyone else to do that which I won’t even do myself?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even consider if what it is that I think I want as My Way, is actually what is in my best interest after all, cause if I had I would see/realize/understand that there is no Self Interest that is separate from the Whole Interest, as Self is Part of the Whole.