Day 105: Waiting to Stop Blame – It’s Your Fault! How Could You?

Here is where when I’ll go into a reaction of blame toward another, and think that there is just no possible way I can stop blaming them for whatever reason has come up that I’ve decided to blame them for. And I don’t even see it as a decision, it’s simply taken for granted that in such a particular situation, I’ll go into blame. That’s called a program. I’ve accepted and allowed myself to program myself to react in a pattern of blame in certain situations. A pattern of behavior which I’ve learned from early in my life from the examples I saw around me, as the adults in my world, and examples that I saw in television, movies or in stories and books, it’s quite a common behavior to see, as it’s really quite a prominent point in accepted human nature

So within looking at the Creation Dimension of how I created this character within myself, I can recall seeing this behavior presented in books and fairy-tales I read when little, and in how I saw adults react/act toward another in ‘real life’ in their interactions, especially my parents within their own relationship which is for most the primary relationship one is exposed to, and in television/movies, especially soap operas – along the lines of ‘How could you do this to me?’ and ‘This is all Your Fault’, where one person goes into angry reaction toward another for what has happened, and so I learned and copied this behavior in myself, and accepted it as ‘normal’ human behavior, and just a part of ‘human nature’, as it’s just ‘how we are’.

I mean, really, you’ll see this behavior everywhere, people blaming other people. We’ll do it individually, we’ll do it in groups. We’ll blame the sidewalk when we trip over it. We’ll blame the weather for spoiling our mood. I mean, it’s really a chronic behavior pattern, blame.
So what is really going on within this reaction of blame? 

Well, firstly, let’s take a look at the Fear Dimension, as the initial fear that comes up that triggers and activates this character of Blame. Typically the fear is that this person is doing something deliberately to harm/spite/take advantage of me or failed to consider how something they did would harm/disadvantage me. This fear comes from the fact that sometimes people do deliberate acts toward another to harm/take advantage, cause we’re accepting ourselves to live in a society and world where we are placed into competition against one another, because we allow an economic system which does not support all of us equally, and thus this puts us in a position where we can’t trust each other, as we’re perpetually in competition with each other and where those not effectively supported by the system, have to ‘do what it takes’. We could easily correct this situation by implementing an Equal Money System that supports all of us to have the best possible life, instead of only a few. 

This fear also comes from memories of past experiences of another doing deliberate harm/deliberately taking advantage, and where I went and took this personally, instead of considering the possible reasons why such person acted as they did, and not making a personal experience out of it, as it has nothing to do with me, but what is going on in that person’s life/mind/situation. 

Fundamentally, it’s a point of Fear of Loss, as I fear that I have now lost something as being harmed/disadvantaged in some way, and within the character of Blame, I’ve decided that this other person is responsible for that loss and that this means I’ll go into a reaction of anger, judgment, rage, annoyance, frustration, toward them. So really, the fear and the playing out of this character is all just an excuse to get to have this particular emotion/feeling/energetic reaction within myself, so I’m actually using the situation as an energy-junky to feed my mind with a certain experience, with has nothing to do whatsoever with what happened, and how to practically address/direct the situation that has occurred. So you get really mad and frustrated at the other person, and go into this whole reaction in yourself, although whatever was done is done, and there’s no going back to change it, so now you’re just creating more consequence on top of what has already occurred, and totally distracted from sorting out what is going on in actual reality. So here we’ve looked at the Reaction Dimension of the character of Blame.

Now, within the Thought Dimension, the thought that comes up is usually a picture of how things ‘would’ve gone’ if such person had not done such thing, and this picture is seen as ‘positive’ and this is then compared with how things did go, which is seen as negative, and from here, once this positive/negative judgment is validated/accepted, I have then accepted that character of Blame to activate, where I now blame that other person for ‘creating’ this negative experience for me.
In the Imagination Dimension is where I’ll play out scenes in my mind in which I imagine the other person is deliberately deciding to harm me, or how they carried out whatever it was they did in deliberateness and spitefulness toward me, wherein I’m assuming how they must’ve acted and what they must’ve been thinking. 

Then the Internal Conversation that arise within me within the Backchat Dimension is along the lines of: “How could they do this to me?” “It’s all their fault” “Why did they do this?” “Didn’t they see how this would harm/disadvantage/cause a negative experience for me?” They must’ve known how what they were doing would effect me and did it anyway!” 

Within the Physical Dimension, what takes place within my physical is a tension in the shoulders, and a heaviness in the chest area, and even the movement of my eyes will change, where I’ll look sidelong at the person, like “I don’t trust you now I need to watch you out of the corner of my eye”. And how I speak toward the person will change, where my speaking will become terse, short, and forceful, like blunt in a way, and the tonality of my voice will become more ‘hard’ and ‘edgy’. So here just a few examples of the physical possession that takes place once the Blame character is activated.

Now let’s take a look at the Dimension of Consequence of what happens when we participate in the character of Blame. So, when something happens in my world/reality where I fear I’ve been taken advantage of/harmed by another, and I go into the reaction of Blame to become the Blame Character, I go into a personal experience of feelings/emotions/thoughts/backchat all within myself, which then effect my physical body as a possession that changes my very behaviors, the words I speak, the tonalities I’ll use when speaking, how I’ll move, and then bombarding my human physical body with the emotion/feeling reactions of anger/rage/frustration that sap the resources of the physical body.

Blame has the particular consequence of giving away one’s self responsibility, and thus one diminish oneself by participating in blame, because the whole point of blame is to focus on another, instead of oneself. So, while one is busy pointing the finger at someone else, one is actually distracting oneself from the actual solution to the situation, which is oneself. Self is the solution, because it’s self that is causing the reaction in the first place, as that’s how one has accepted oneself to react in such a situation. The solution is thus to stop participating in and fueling the reaction, as the other person has nothing to do with the reaction.

And THEN, once one’s personal reaction is sorted out, can the actual situation be addressed, as to whether there is really a problem, and to work out the best solution for all involved.

And As Above, So Below, as how we treat ourselves we treat the world at large, and so when we exist as Blame within/as ourselves, how is that effecting the world? What kind of world are we creating? Well obviously everyone is busy blaming each other instead of investigating oneself and sorting oneself out first, so that we can then all work together toward solutions.

So, no more Waiting for an excuse/reason/justification to stop Blame when realizing that I am the creator of the character of Blame within myself, and of the reactions I experience, and thus I am the only one that can stop what I am creating. And in the realization of the extensive consequences created by participation in/as the character of Blaming. It never brings about any kind of solution, and only creates consequence that is of no benefit to life whatsoever.

Self forgiveness and Commitment Statements on the Character of Blame and Waiting to Stop Blame to come.

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