Day 84: Self Forgiveness on the “There’s Nothing Wrong with That” Character

Featured Art by Anna Brix Thomsen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character as a defense mechanism to avoid investigating myself and the relationships I’m living as toward a particular form/manifestation/circumstance/situation/event/scenario/being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that I go into this character in a situation where I ‘perceive’ another to be judging something or myself, and within that not questioning this perception and not realizing that a perception is always only a perception, and since a perception has to be created, in separation of reality, means that I have deliberately created the perception in my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I participate in a perception, where I then base my actions on what I am perceiving, that I am in fact validating that perception, and thus I am the one actually creating it, by living according to/as it, thus I am actually acting as my own self-fulfilling prophecy and alternate reality generator, wherein I create the alternate reality within my mind as a perception of reality, and then act as it thus ‘giving it life’ so to speak, and thus living as a perception and not as myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to lose the relationships I exist as, and to not realize that they are not who I am, that they are only associations I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, that I did not create in absolute self-directed awareness, and within this, not realizing the consequence of forming/participating in/living as such relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow this character to become so automated, that it could activate without me even being aware of what was going on within myself as the avoidance of self investigation and self responsibility, and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the deliberate decision to not see/face/be aware of who I am to become so completely accepted that I could in a moment not even see what I was actually participating in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop and create characters for the purpose of avoiding self investigation and self responsibility, and to not realize the consequence of this is self limitation, wherein I separate myself from myself where I do not even know myself and by avoiding self responsibility, I give away my ability to respond in this world and reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider and investigate what the real effect/consequence of participating in a particular character is, or to not have even considered that I was acting/living as a character and not as myself, as I believed myself to actually be the characters that I developed and lived as, not considering that if a character is made up then it can’t be who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself as my physical to react in tension and stiffening when I experience the perception that I may lose something that I want/need/desire, within this not considering/caring about the harm that I’m deliberately allowing to take place within my human physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must first clear up the relationships in myself to be sure that I am not creating perceptions, so that I can ensure that I am living in/according to actual reality, so that who I am is relevant, and not caught in some alternate reality.