For context listen to the interview LifeReview – Expecting Appreciation from Others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to develop an energetic relationship within myself of doing
something to ‘get’ appreciation from others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to create the relationship within myself of where if/when I get
‘positive’ feedback from others as appreciation that I experience a positive
experience within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to feel like I am being rewarded when others show me
appreciation for what I’ve done for them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and
allowed myself to feel an actual energetic rush like a warm surge within myself
when another reacts in appreciation toward what I have done for them.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent / addicted to
getting appreciation from others, which is like being addicted to a drug which
cause a certain feeling in oneself.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that this is actually
manipulation of others and of myself where I manipulate others by performing
certain actions in order to have them react in a certain way/the way I want,
which is to react within/as appreciation, so utilizing my actions in order to
manipulate them to show me appreciation, which is to actually manipulate myself
to be able to experience that ‘feel good’ feeling I get when someone shows
appreciation toward me.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within this I have
enslaved myself to energy, where my very actions are directed by the
want/need/desire to have others react in appreciation, in order to generate
this energetic experience for myself within myself, and thus I have become
addicted to energy, and living only for this energy, where my actions are
directed according to that which will get me this energy, and thus I am not
here actually living, as myself, but have enslaved myself to energy which must
be constantly and continuously generated through my participation, and thus in
living to get energy to consume, I am actually consuming my own life.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that as parents we
program and encourage this energetic relationship within the children within
saying things like ‘I really like it when you do this for me’ and putting on
‘nice’ behaviors like smiling or giving a hug, within this encouraging and
affirming this relationship to develop within the child, who will then live as
this behavior throughout their life and then teach it to their children as
well, so passing on the sins of the fathers, we keep ourselves trapped in
cycles of enslavement to energy.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within living as
this pattern I am thus not living as myself and for myself, where what I do
would not depend on what reaction another might have, and my experience of
myself would not change according to other’s reactions, but I would remain
stable within myself.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that actual
satisfaction comes from living as and for myself, as real satisfaction comes
from self, within living for self, and not living enslaved to seeking out
energy where what I do is thus not for myself as what I’d actually like to do,
but is directed for and within the desire for an energetic experience, which
isn’t real or sustainable.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to react in appreciation
when I do something for them, as that is how others had generally reacted in
the past when I would do something for them.
I forgive myself that
I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the nature of energy as
polarity where when someone does not react in the expected way by showing
appreciation, I then go into the opposite reaction where instead of having a
positive reaction within myself, I have a negative reaction as for example
disappointment, confusion, frustration.
I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from appreciation by
trying to get it from other people instead of expressing appreciation as myself
for myself.
I commit myself
to realize how accepting and allowing the relationship of existing and living
for other’s appreciation is self sabotage that keeps me from living as and for
myself, but a slave to addiction and dependence on energy to manipulate myself
to experience myself in a certain way.
I commit myself
to consider what self appreciation in fact means, as being comfortable and
accepting of who I am within myself and my living, where my starting point is
myself and not dependent on other human beings to give me a part of myself
which is already in myself I just require to live it as myself.
I commit myself
to live as self appreciation for myself, and not separating myself from
appreciation in trying to get it from others, which leads me to using and
gearing my behavior toward manipulating others to give me the desired reaction
as appreciation.
I commit myself
to stopping reactions within myself toward how another reacts to what I do,
within this bringing my expression back to myself so that I am expressing
myself as myself, not as and for the purpose of generating energy as an
energetic experience within myself, but for and as myself as that is the key to
real actual satisfaction and appreciation, where I appreciate what I do and am
not existing as and wasting my life away within wishing, hoping, wanting,
needing, desiring, others to show appreciation.
I commit myself
to within my process of self investigation and self transformation, seeing
where in my life am I wanting or expecting others to appreciate me and
transform that behavior and living into self appreciation, to no longer separate
myself from appreciation where I am always existing in the desire for
appreciation because I am not giving it to myself, but to live it as myself so
that I cannot then actually ever be
without it as it is a part of me as me as my expression as my living.
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