Day 4 - Living Two Lives

We live two lives – the life that takes place here in actual reality, and the one that takes place within one’s secret mind, which is the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and  backchat that is suppressed and ‘hidden’ from the rest of the world. When I live in my mind, I effectively separate myself from reality here, and this makes it much more difficult to be effective within actual reality, because my view of reality becomes skewed within my mind’s interpretations. Within the mind, we form and participate in alternate realities, and hide what’s really going on within ourselves in our mind out of fear and self judgment. When I participate in and validate my mind, I sabotage myself, within separating myself from reality, within participating in an alternate reality within my mind that doesn’t actually exist here. This obviously leads to chaos and confusion, as one is living two different realities at the same time. This takes an extensive amount of energy at the expense of one’s physical body, and your physical body is what allows you to be here as a physical being in this reality. Thus by participating in energetic states within your mind, one wreaks havoc on one’s own human physical body, sabotaging your life in this world, and walking down a path of literal self destruction.  

Whenever I fear to expose my secret mind, it is because I fear to lose something, because I fear that if I expose myself my life will have to change, I will have to change. Yet what’s to be realized is that the change does not mean you lose anything. If you fear to lose it, you’re not actually living it as yourself in the first place. You’ve already separated yourself from that which you fear to lose. The fear of loss will consume you and your participation will be directed by the fear and you’ll not actually be participating in what you do, as yourself, living it as an actual expression of who you are, because you’re busy in your mind having thoughts about it, and interpreting it through your mind. Thus, you’ve already ‘lost’ it within separating yourself from it – instead of participating fully in what you’re doing, you’re participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions. In this, you miss the opportunity you have here within this life to grow and expand and live to your fullest capacity this in physical reality. 

Thus, the key is to realize that participating in the fear to change is what keeps us in a limited existence of fear and self abuse and self limitation, and from gifting ourself the opportunity to really live here, one life, in actual reality. Which is so much simpler than trying to exist in two worlds at once, when only one is real – the physical reality. Thus if you dare, let go of the fear of change, and gift yourself the opportunity to live for real - without fear and judgment, without secret mind backchat, without the consequences one manifest for oneself by participating in my mind. It’s not worth it to destroy your body for some energetic experiences which you allow to direct your life, instead of living yourself.

This is why I walk the journey to life – the journey to one life that is lived here in reality, by dismantling the life of separation I’ve created in my mind, and rebuilding myself as a new human being, that lives fully here in reality, nothing hidden, no part of me lived within my mind in separation of actual reality, so that I can stop the consequences I cause on my physical body, and expand myself to my full potential, in this one life, this one opportunity, to live for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live two lives, where I have one life in actual reality, and another ‘secret’ life as what takes place within my mind that I hid from the rest of the world.  

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that participating in thoughts, feelings, and emotions is ‘normal’, as ‘everyone else is doing it’, within this, disregarding the consequences that come as a result of participating in and as one’s mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my world may change, that I may have to change, when I should actually be grateful for the opportunity to change, as this means that I can change myself from living as patterns of limitation and self abuse, within which I keep myself from actually living here, and being a presence here in fullness, and thus the only thing I stand to ‘lose’ within changing myself is the limitation I’ve always existed as, which means I lose nothing that was of any value in any way, and I gain everything, within picking up the pieces of myself that I’ve separated myself from throughout my life within accepting and allowing myself to exist as limitation, and taking my life back and giving myself the opportunity to expand myself and become a real human being that lives fully here in completeness and in reality to the utmost of my actual capability.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that living a second life within my secret mind manifests the consequences that I face in my world, and thus to stop living a second life in my mind in separation of myself here, is the key to giving myself the opportunity and ability to stop manifesting an actual life of limitation and self abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will lose something if I stop the secret life in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a life in separation in my mind in the belief that it is who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept existing in my mind as a valid way to spend my time, as a valid way to live, as ‘normal’, disregarding the consequences that result from participation in my mind as the damage that is done to my physical human body through participating in energetic states that cause the physical to become unbalanced and suffer.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that I could actually stop the backchat, thoughts, feeling and emotion reactions, and that within doing so, I give myself the opportunity to reconstruct myself as an effective human being and actually live for real in the physical real reality, that sees and experiences what is here directly, as it is, without it being filtered through my mind’s interpretation so that I am then living within an ‘interpretation’ of reality and not in actual reality itself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that through my participating in the mind, I manifest the consequences that I face in my world, and thus I am responsible for and the creator of those consequences.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to consider the simplicity of living one life in actual reality, instead of trying to live two separate lives, one in reality and one in my mind which isn’t real, through which I accept myself as limited within fears and judgments, which keeps me from expanding to my full potential and actually being satisfied in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that our thoughts, feelings, and emotions are ‘who we are’ as humans, that it is part of the ‘natural’ nature of humans, that it is normal and acceptable behavior, without realizing the consequences of participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions, or the possibility to change oneself and through self forgiveness, deconstruct the patterns I’ve existed as and actually stop living in cycles of self abuse and limitation, and allow myself to rebuild myself as a human being that lives one life here, no longer living in fear and judgment, but free to expand and grow.

I commit myself to stopping participation in my secret mind backchat, thoughts, feelings and emotions, within the realization that participating in my mind manifest unnecessary consequences and cause deleterious effects to my human physical body.

I commit myself to consider that participating within the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions is what is keeping me from really living here, and expanding myself to my fullest potential.

I commit myself to considering the actual consequences of participating in my mind, which is separating myself from actual reality, causing harm to my physical body, limiting myself within fears and limitations, and supporting others to do the same by standing as an example, where if you have a look at the abuse in this world that is justified within the minds of humanity, if you participate in the mind you support all humans to do so, and thus are actually responsible for all the abuse that exists in the world, within having a responsibility to change the example you are living as so that you do not support, accept and allow abuse to exist in this world.

I commit myself to consider that I have never actually lived since I have existed within my mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions throughout my life, and thus I don’t even know what it means to actually live, and that I will only find out what I am truly capable of if I stop myself as my mind, stopping the cycles and patterns of behavior I’ve existed as, to be able to reconstruct myself in a way that I become a being that lives according to the principle of what is best for all life, which means not accepting and allowing myself to exist as limitation and fear, but to actually live here, in the physical, as a physical being, living as life and not accepting and allowing myself to be enslaved by thoughts, feelings and emotions.