Day 208: Self Forgiveness for Making Enemies
Here I am continuing from the previous post, here. I'll now walk the Self Forgiveness for how I'd accepted the justifications for war and separation from other human beings. For context, here is where I left off in the last post discussing this point:
Within all this, I eventually accepted the justifications myself, that apparently we have enemies and thus must fight them and we’re ‘protecting’ ourselves. I was so sold on the idea that apparently there were these vicious enemies out there who were big and posed some sort of real threat to us and so we just had to protect ourselves. Yet, I had no idea actually how big any of these countries were, or how developed they are, and probably most importantly why do they apparently want to attack us? I mean, for me to want to attack someone, it took a reason. I had to believe that they were a threat to me or harmed me in some way. So, wouldn’t that hold true for the supposed ‘enemies’ as well? I mean, I knew they are people, human beings, just like me. Same bodies with superficial differences, and you’ve got moms and dads and children, etc. They all need the same things as me like food, water, shelter, education. Sure we have some cultural differences, though those are usually blown out of proportion by the media, in order to highlight our apparent differences, to feed the idea and misperception that there could be human beings out there that are ‘just different’ and just want to harm us for no good reason, and so we won’t ever realize that nobody just wants to hurt others, and we’ll never investigate or question to get to the bottom of what is really going on, as such behavior is always the symptom of something out of ordinary going on.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept any justification for having enemies, and having to 'fight our enemies' when in fact this has never been a solution but has only kept us locked in relationships of being 'enemies' toward others and fighting each other with no end in sight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question why we would have enemies, and therefore to not ever investigate the situation to get the full story of what was going on, in order to understand the situation to be able to find actual solutions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the idea/perception of having 'enemies' because it was presented to me as being 'fact' and 'the way things are' and presented with all sorts of justifications that if I had but questioned I may have realized that the relationship of 'being enemies' does not just happen or exist within itself but is the result of specific reasons and causes namely our own behavior toward one another, which if we changed would then stop creating ourselves as enemies.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that if we stop living the relationships of separation we have formed toward others, that no such separation would exist, and no one would be enemies but we would all get along and coexist and work together and for once be able to explore our true potential as humanity.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that most, if not all, of our problems are the result of us living in separation toward one another, and that this would imply that we are the very solution we have been waiting for, right under our noses this whole time, since we are the cause of the problem.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that any point within myself where I am living in separation of another being is the same point which is responsible for all the wars and atrocities that exist that we allow to happen to one another and that we act out on one another.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that holding onto the points of separation I exist as toward others is in some way serving me, when it is in fact doing the opposite, by keeping myself, my relationships and this whole world in a state of perpetual fighting and conflict, where we can never get to know what it would be like to really live and express ourselves here, instead of being caught up in endless conflict.
When and as I see myself participating in conflict and separation within myself toward another/others, I stop and breathe, remind myself that no one is actually my enemy, and reassess the situation within the consideration of all involved equally as myself.
I realize that I am responsible for the war and conflict in the world if I allow conflict to exist in me toward others and that when I take the approach of needing to defend or protect myself from another where I am only considering what is best for me that I am immediately placing myself in a position of opposition toward them, and actually placing the other in a position of having to defend themselves against me as well, since I am only considering my own interest, and thus by such behavior we drive each other apart and into conflict.
I realize that as long as I am stuck in a position of conflict toward another, that I actually prevent myself from seeing any effective solution, because that requires to be considering all points equally, otherwise it will simply lead to more conflict.
I commit myself to identifying and clearing up any points of separation within myself so that I can see the solutions that would be lasting and which would prevent and thus end conflict.